AIBU to think teachers should be respectful to pupils?

[mammaplay]

DS 11 has just started secondary school. He has mild SEN needs which the school are aware of (effects speed of work and presentation).
Today in front of the class, the maths teacher screwed up his worksheet, threw it in the bin and simply handed him a new worksheet (with no verbal communication) as he'd made a minor mistake in not leaving enough space on the page.
AIBU to think this type of behaviour from teachers is a bit 'old school' and unnecessary, or am I being completely precious about my little snowflake?

I should add, the crucial part of taking option 2 is that anyone advocating option 1 believes teachers are gods and no parent should ever question teachers ever, like ever (despite option 1 including formal complaints against the school).

That's actually not what has happened, if you read back.

We piled onto some misconceptions being bandied about by apparent SLT. Who deserve it for not doing their job!!!

But there's way too much wailing and gnashing of teeth over what could well be far simpler that it seems.

@ToBeShared

Maybe neither was wrong, but the child didn’t see it as was supposed to interpreted.

Are we reading the same thread?
All that has been said is that what the teacher has done wasnt necessarily in an angry or inappropriate way. Which seems a fair enough thing to say.

But that must not be dramatic enough for you so I'll try and join in:

What the fuck? Fucking outrageous. Get down the school tomorrow and demand that they are disciplined. If they refuse move your LO to a different school. Teachers think they are gods, they really do.

Is that better?

I'm all for parents holding people to account where needed. I've done it myself.

But you have to approach with a cool head. And facts. And rationally.

Some teachers can be shits but mostly are not. There are definitely some parents who start with the assumption that the teacher is shit and read the worst into any situation.

Charity should be applied, until it’s obvious that it shouldn’t. One binned, incorrectly completed worksheet isn’t the point to jump in.

I’ve seen so many times parents gang up on a poor NQT or new to the school teacher and hound them with spurious complaints that they wouldn’t trouble a more experienced teacher with. It’s shitty.

I agree LolaSmiles but when faced with a teacher who is obsessively remarking on ds's presentation - I have seen the comments and watch ds getting upset and frustrated when he is really struggling with his handwriting but school have special handwriting targets and teacher feels under pressure - am going to ignore the situation - no way! I am going to express to teacher the effects of the excessive criticism is having on his enjoyment of the subject - because that matters, it matter to ds - feedback matters, you might not like getting it from pupils and parents but it matters - of course lots of poeple don't like feedback - which is quite clear from this thread!

NeverGotMyPuppy
It's typical school thread problems.

There's usually a logical explanation for it and an easy way to clarify issues but it's simply far far too boring to do that.

Surely your complaint is with the handwriting expectations from SLT then? Not the class teacher expected to get the kids to "perform"

Surely your complaint is with the handwriting expectations from SLT then? Not the class teacher expected to get the kids to "perform"

I have seen the comments and watch ds getting upset and frustrated when he is really struggling with his handwriting but school have special handwriting targets and teacher feels under pressure

So complain about the targets and not to the class teacher.

How many comments do you consider excessive?

@BelindasGleeTeam Given that only one teacher had an issue and I had 2 kids in the year - it would seem it was one teacher! Who unlike you guys wound his neck in - while we tried to help ds regain some confidence in his written work.

tobeshared
I would imagine though if you had to talk to the teacher about an obsessive focus on handwriting, you'd just call the teacher for a chat.

I've had to have the handwriting thing at ks3 because if they don't sort their handwriting sorted then they won't be able to manage their exams in y11. There's way to give feedback that are kind and helpful and ways not to.
E.g. for my student they did fluency exercises at the start of lessons when others did something else, we spoke about them slowing down, letter formation but I'd never write anything about handwriting in their book because it would kill their confidence seeing that day in day out.

I think most staff are open for dialogue and feedback. It just needs to be reasonable. For example, I talk to parents a lot more than some of my colleagues (I'd rather chat sooner than later and have an agreed way forward that bears their views and what's worked in previous years etc), but I take a massive issue with being told how to do my job.

Exactly that!

*hears their views

@Teachermaths I think it was daily comments - ie every class - it stopped after my feedback. Ds was a good student, well behaved and engaged, always did his homework - he got an 8 in the subject but he is not someone who keeps a beautifully presented book.

Sorry, I got mixed up and thought the handwriting thing was a school policy.

Handwriting bis important....but it's got to be handled well. And investigated to see if there's other issues at play.

That approach sounds unhelpful for your DS.

As long as it's legible I'm ok with it as a GCSE examiner!!

I have had to refer illegible answers up to senior examiners though.

Wish those kids had been investigated and scribe/laptops sought.

@toBeShared

You left the vital information out of your first post that it was only one teacher with the issue.

This is a case in point as to why reasonableness is required when discussing issues with school. How does the OP know her child hasn't missed vital information which could change the interpretation of the whole encounter? You as an adult can, why would we expect a child to report absolutely everything?

'Who unlike you guys wound his neck in'.

Delightful.

ToBeShared
Glad they listened to your concerns. Most staff do when parents are reasonable. Nothing to do with the teacher "winding his neck in".

I say it on almost every school thread, raising issues politely and reasonably with the right person generally gets a good outcome.
Deciding to tell people how to do their job, go in with a view of kicking off and putting people in their place, usually guarantees not being taken seriously and makes a positive resolution and relationship moving forward much less likely

I just asked my 16 year olds what they thought of a teacher scrunching up another child's work and they both said "wow that's harsh!" Maybe kids are becoming more sensitive - maybe we they are just learning to say what we feel - a friend told me in his firm - the older partners had to be retrained because they were upsetting the new staff - they realised that the "new" was the future - schools are are often a few years behind.

'Who unlike you guys wound his neck in'.

Delightful.

Oh come one there has been many an outraged teacher (actually mostly one outraged teacher) on this thread - thank god you aren't like this in real life, I've found most teachers very caring and lovely, a couple a bit shitty but once I spoke to them about my concerns their attitude seemed to evaporate - maybe my kids (one was overly sensitive but very compliant and hard working) stopped annoying them, maybe they stopped annoying my kids - either way we all got what we wanted in the end no drama and good grades.

Sorry are you referring to me as the 'one outraged teacher'?

I couldn't be further from outraged. It's the same stuff written time and time again. It's all very dull.

The thing is nobody has say if it's harsh or not without the context of the lesson.

Eg.if you've said to me a teacher went and scrunched up a child's work and put it in the bin then you'd get a different response than if you'd said a teacher saw a child had gone wrong early on something, gave them a new one and scrunched the old one in the bin.

It's all in how the story is pitched and people can be very good at selective telling stories to get the response they want from others (just look at AIBU).

For example, it's always quite interesting doing investigations in schools where two students recalling the same event have two very different sounding stories. Now if I wanted to take the MN approach, I should take the first version I hear at face value and act accordingly. Usually it turns out when you speak to other students, staff who saw the issue and so on you realise that the complete picture is a bit different to the first version you've been given.