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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Sam Smith is being ridiculous?

778 replies

gc400 · 15/09/2019 22:31

For asking to be called they/them?

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 18/09/2019 14:35

How can anyone know that they weren’t born the ‘right’ sex? Just how?

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:37

A boy can want to play with dolls without being trans!

No one is arguing the inverse? Trans people are not just people who enjoy things that are stereotypically for the opposite sex... it's deeper than that

SmellbowSpaceBowl · 18/09/2019 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

birdsdestiny · 18/09/2019 14:38

GrinI know tizzy, this is a chat forum so we interject into conversations. It's kind of how it works. The question you asked directly linked to the point I made 're stereotypes, so I pointed it out. I wasn't even directly talking to you either but making the point and people can address it or not as they see fit
Bloody hell this is hard work.

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:38

@LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD You and I will never know because we are not trans! (I assume from your blatant hatred of the trans community displayed in this thread) Doesn't mean it's not real!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 18/09/2019 14:39

Not according to stonewall. Crossdressers sit alongside transsexuals and transgender people in their world.

Some groups do argue that a boy who likes dollies or ‘girls things’ is indeed trans and should be advised that they can change their body and sex.

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:40

@SmellbowSpaceBowl what do you mean "whats left?" don't be so dramatic!

I'll tell you what's left, a world in which we love, respect and care for those who are different. Rather than invalidate their existence! Thats whats left and it sounds pretty good to me Smile

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 18/09/2019 14:40

‘blatent hatred’? You are just talking absolute shit now. Please don’t bother addressing me again.

jellyfrizz · 18/09/2019 14:40

You'd have to have been feeling that way to start with for it to chime though, to think it sounds like you, surely?

Well having no gender identity wasn't something I thought of as it is an absence rather than a sense. It was only when I read about agender I realised that I am agender and therefore trans.

I guess it would be a bit like if I read an article about people with brown hair and blue eyes saying that they were blowns. I'd think, yes, I'm a blown.

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:41

@LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD are you telling me you're a cross dresser?

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:41

@LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD rattled! Goodbye x

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 18/09/2019 14:42

Someone say something? I can hear mewing.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 18/09/2019 14:42

Not going anywhere - sorry to disappoint.

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:43

sis you asked me to stop addressing you so i said goodbye... make your mind up

jellyfrizz · 18/09/2019 14:43

You are ludicrous if you think sam wanting to be called 'they' is the same as that mad request I receievd before?

Why? Why is it different? Why can't you be nice to everyone rather than just some people? Like you said, it doesn't do you any harm.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/09/2019 14:44

@tizzybell because being a boy or a girl does not preclude one from seeking out any experiences they so choose to. So a girl that wants to be a footballer or a boy that wants to bake cakes. A woman that wants to be a pilot or a man that wants to be a nurse. Everything an individual wants is 'relatively' in reach thus they shouldn't feel compelled that their tastes render them in the 'wrong body' or born the 'wrong sex'. Once you accept that then it matters not what you identify as, as you can still do whatever you like.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 18/09/2019 14:44

Feminism absolutely centres women only and is F all to do with the feelings of men. Feminism is always pushing back against toxic masculinity but do you know who needs to do it more? Men. Why is it always the job of women to budge up or fight back?

Smellbow is articulating perfectly the conversation and consideration I would picture if my son told me he was trans. And the alternative? Those of you who think we should let our kids have life changing medication and remove parts of their bodies, what will you say if it's your child and years after this so called transition they tell you they made an awful mistake and what to go back to how they were before. What will you say? Because this does happen.

OldCrone · 18/09/2019 14:45

Trans people are not just people who enjoy things that are stereotypically for the opposite sex... it's deeper than that

In what way? Can you explain?

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:45

because 'marvellous mumsnetters' or whatever it was, isn't a pronoun, it is an adjective followed by a noun. Please go away you obviously can't form an intelligent argument and its exhausting.

jellyfrizz · 18/09/2019 14:47

because 'marvellous mumsnetters' or whatever it was, isn't a pronoun, it is an adjective followed by a noun.

You have a very restrictive view of pronouns:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34901704

And who made you the pronoun police?

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:49

@jellyfrizz ok you have made your point! So we all agree that we should use peoples preferred pronouns then :)

PookieDo · 18/09/2019 14:49

I would do it if they wanted to be ‘they’

I have 2 teenage girls and I have brought them up alone with a minimal Male influence, I have always been very open that girls/women do not have to fit into a stereotype of any kind, there has been no pressure from me.

They go to mixed schools that have optional skirts as part of the uniform and partake in mixed sex PE lessons.

I have asked them what they would think of a transgender girl using their changing room and they said as they would know them ie not a stranger, and no one is naked in front of each other, they are not sure they would feel it was harming their rights and would also want the other person not to feel uncomfortable but accept that it is probably safer in a girls space than a boys for a trans girl. They already know this

They also know first hand from their very outdated dark ages father that there are a generation of men who don’t want to accept equality and they already try to fight against it. From talking to them, they don’t want to fight against the people they feel are also vulnerable ie a trans girl. It is more acceptable than ever to come out at school with no repercussions (at least where we live), when I was a teenager many kids were self harming over their sexual orientation being a secret. They don’t seem to question gender confusion as much as the older generations do

Where I do draw the line for me personally is not jumbled clumsy quotes from confused pop stars or confused children. It is people (men) who have a very radical agenda to invade women’s spaces. We can fight them without fighting EVERYONE.

There is no proof or evidence that the majority of trans people or non binary people want anything to do with the radical transgender movement and dislike it as much as everyone else

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 18/09/2019 14:51

Bloody hell that article on pronouns. You can literally make it anything you want Confused

tizzybell · 18/09/2019 14:51

The bottom line is that trans people exist and always will

They are threatened daily and murdered at an alarming rate. The life expectancy for a trans women of colour is 35!

So life is hard enough for them, are we going to make it harder by refusing to use their pronouns? I'm certainly not