14 year old in a size 24. AIBU to think her mum should do something ?

[Sweetpeach3]

Just read an article in the paper that a girl age 14 is in a size 24 clothes an can't get a uniform to fit her. She's medically healthy just clearly a bad relationship with food. Her mum isn't slim either from the pictures.
AIBU as a mother to think her mum should be trying to encourage her daughter to eat better and not be as big as it isn't healthy what so ever in the long term of things also the name calling etc it isn't a nice thing. Been a big girl isn't an issue I just think a size 24 is rather large for a 14 year old....
My brother is 25 stone at 30 and he's constantly in hospital with problems linked to his weight and it's awful to watch - his wife is a big feeder to him. He was a slim athletic rugby player before he met her then he just spiralled. We've tried to get him to fat club etc. He lasted a week an left as she didn't want to do it. She's also very big. It's a viscous circle because it's easy to put on and hard to shift !

I just personally think as a mum you would want better for your daughter at this age specially

I don’t think it’s the daughters fault at all.

I do know that’s it’s not as simple as - mum feeds her a shit diet- mum magically starts feeding healthy diet- weight slips off though.

She’s a teenager, many posters here are being so simplistic it’s embarrassing really. How can you not appreciate how complex this situation could be?

I think people within families some times keep each other obese on purpose, not just ignorance.

My late sister in law was always very over-weight and she told me once that she fed her husband 'well' because she didn't want to be heavier than her spouse. In the early 90's she lost all her extra weight and in their pictures on-line I notice now her husband was slim then. They looked good. Within a few years she gained it back and so did he. She died last year and her husband is once again slim.

I knew for a fact, as he stayed here recently, he eats whatever is put in front of him.. Cleans his plate like a good boy.

Blimey the newspaper article is surely just drawing attention!

Shes been sent to school in a skirt too short. Shorter than all the other girls at school.

I bet her skirt is the same length as the other girls’ skirts. It isn’t her fault she is very tall.

What utter rot!

Her family have extremely unhealthy eating habits and are destroying their daughter, risking her life.

Why are ss not involved.

The school has treated her the same as any other child fgs.

Why should be be treated specially other than taken into fucking care

Shes been sent to school in a skirt too short. Shorter than all the other girls at school.

I bet her skirt is the same length as the other girls’ skirts. It isn’t her fault she is very tall

Read the article for yourself then.

Im going on whats been repeatedly reported as the schools statement.

What you are going on?

It's pretty horrifying. She's been failed by her family, helping / allowing her to get this big. It must have been years in the making. Very irresponsible parenting.

I think it is very unfortunate that schools make such a fuss about uniform - excluded from class for wearing the wrong skirt - how daft is that?

And this poor lass is plastered over the papers - can't imagine what her mother is thinking of - I understand that it was mum who approached the media. Nor what she can be thinking of not to be seeking dietician advice via the GP for her sick daughter.

After reading some comments on here, I am actually baffled as to why her parents have put her in the news. Can you imagine how she feels going to schooo now? For what? To try to shame the school. Madness

YANBU!!! There is no excuse for this at all.

There is a handful of very overweight kids that attend the same sports club as my children. It is great that they’re being active, however it’s very easy to see why they are so big - for a one hour class they bring enough snacks to last a few days! And I’m not talking fruit - big bags of sweets, crisps and fizzy drinks. It’s complety up to the parent to put their foot down and also lead by example. Sadly, the parents are overweight too so obviously not leading by example.

“I assume when the mum says medically healthy she means there is an absence of medical problems caused by the weight. Provided this is the case (and no reason to think it isn’t) I don’t know why it’s causing so much contention”

No matter the age, no, it’s not “medically” healthy to be that size. It’s a scientific fact that obesity is not healthy. That’s the point of contention.

That was the mother’s claim, not given by a doctor (a doctor would advise weight loss, listing the health issues and risks) and shows she has her head in the sand. Or she’s clueless and assumes such because they haven’t seen the effects.
It’s a harmful attitude in any case.
Another poster has stated on here that she’s that size and has health issues and discomfort.

www.medicaldaily.com/effects-obesity-you-cant-always-see-5-major-organs-damaged-excess-body-fat-292888

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/metabolic-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20351916

www.diabetes.co.uk/body/visceral-fat.html

The school is named in the article and a check at their site shows a link for the uniform. As of Sept 2018 lists “Navy blazer with school logo
 Plain tailored mid-grey knee length skirt or plain tailored mid-grey trousers (girls may
wear trousers or skirts).” It also has a link to Sept 2019 but that’s not working.

However, as stated in the article it’s a matter of wrong length. It probably was longer on her last year, but she grew and so it’s shorter on her now.

There are skirts that should fit her, and also conform to the dress code. The one everyone is asked to follow.

www.amazon.co.uk/Womens-Quarter-Length-Coloured-Elasticated/dp/B00L4DUWUU/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?psc=1&keywords=plain%2Bmid%2Bgrey%2Bknee%2Blength%2Bskirt%2Bwomens%2Bsize%2B24&th=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1568492345&sr=8-1

I do think the school handled it poorly and isolation was over the top.

The mother is irresponsible for how she’s handled it. It wouldn’t have gone beyond the school otherwise.

The internet is forever and teens don’t always understand the risk of what they post. That’s why we adults teach them to really think about what they put out there. Regardless if the girl liked being in the article (as someone else suggested), it was the failure of the mother to go to the paper and, in addition, give permission for her daughter to be identified.

Every child will get sent out of class, or removed if theybcant simply wear the uniform as stated 8 weeks before theybare due to arrive

Theres no excuse.

Unless she was suddenly moved schools, theyve known about what the school expects for months.

Same as everyone else.

They're obviously too special for respecting rules.

Drama drama drama.

Look after that poor girl, and resoect what the school asks of everyone else. You're not special, you need help.

Fat-shaming! Fat-shaming! How dare you criticise anyone who rejects the 'supposedly' healthy body norms our society imposes? etc etc etc.

In the real world this is massively unhealthy and of course we should judge.

Wait to be deleted (again) for stating reality.

"Teateaandmoretea Sat 14-Sep-19 21:24:02
This is a real, named child you are talking about. Discussing her life in this way on Mumsnet is revolting. I have reported this thread, I'm absolutely horrified by it."

I think that ship sailed when her mother went to the national press and she was named there. Could have been a school matter, dealt with internally. Some folk will do absolutely anything to get in the papers, including using their own children. I'd reserve your horror for the parent who wanted attention.

Read the article for yourself then.

Im going on whats been repeatedly reported as the schools statement.

What you are going on?

This photo.

The skirt is at her knees. I guarantee you that skirt is actually longer than some of the other girls skirts.

This reminds me of the news, last week, about the 17 year old who eventually went blind from eating just chips and crisps for every meal since leaving primary school. The mother has to care for the lad now and his diet has remained unchanged despite attempts to get him onto a more nutritious one.

There is no mention about her diet in the article, but I hope she is getting help with her health.

Jeez, hiw many times!!

The school statement. The skirt is clearly above her knees!

The school said its too short.

Are you a school governor, or teacher, so know better than the school? Huh?

Of you wear a stretchy skirt, it rides up.

Its already above her knees and tight, a few steps and it'll be higher

Do you think the school have time, motivation, or energy to pester kids about uniform thats complying with their guidelines?

I mean, honestly.

Drama drama drama

The poor poor girl.

That family seriously need help. Shes losing years off her life.

She didnt do this to herself as an adult.

Wow. You’re a bit weird grin i’ll Leave you to your frothing

Well what a lovely thing to say!

Charming.

Just because school sets rules for all kids.

Why should some think they can ignore the rules.

Shes had months to talk with the school with any uniform issues she had.

She was clearly above alll that and thought she knew better.

frothing. Drama drama drama

Interesting that lots of people saying why did no one intervene earlier. Makes me think of all the hysteria on here when parents get letters home saying their overweight child is overweight and everyone tells them it's rubbish and they're just well built etc. The problem is the intervention is being ignored. It's another example of the anti expert attitude which is rife at the moment and is having awful consequences. This poor girl has been badly let down by the adults around her.

In the supermarket earlier today I overheard a couple discussing pasta sauces. "We need the Dolmio one, that's what the recipe says" I heard.

They are probably not unique in thinking spaghetti bolognaise or whatever, needs a ready made sauce with a fuckton of sugar in it.

I feel desperately sorry for this poor child and her situation. I've not read the article, but it sounds like she has been let down by people around her.

But society lets people like her down too. A society where not enough people know how to cook simple meals from fresh ingredients.

Even if the girl is size 24 & starts losing weight, she isn't going to lose it overnight, I would imagine it will take her at least a year to 18 months, is she to be expected to be punished every day for that time because she is wearing incorrect uniform? My ds is a larger size, he wears the largest size polo shirts & sweatshirts the uniform manufacturer sells, what would happen if he grew even more? I already have a problem with school shoes as he wears size 11HHH fitting, he has to wear 2 sizes too big to get the width he needs.

Size 24 and healthy at 14- both mum and daughter have blinkers on and have lost perspective on what is healthy a healthy weight.