14 year old in a size 24. AIBU to think her mum should do something ?

[Sweetpeach3]

Just read an article in the paper that a girl age 14 is in a size 24 clothes an can't get a uniform to fit her. She's medically healthy just clearly a bad relationship with food. Her mum isn't slim either from the pictures.
AIBU as a mother to think her mum should be trying to encourage her daughter to eat better and not be as big as it isn't healthy what so ever in the long term of things also the name calling etc it isn't a nice thing. Been a big girl isn't an issue I just think a size 24 is rather large for a 14 year old....
My brother is 25 stone at 30 and he's constantly in hospital with problems linked to his weight and it's awful to watch - his wife is a big feeder to him. He was a slim athletic rugby player before he met her then he just spiralled. We've tried to get him to fat club etc. He lasted a week an left as she didn't want to do it. She's also very big. It's a viscous circle because it's easy to put on and hard to shift !

I just personally think as a mum you would want better for your daughter at this age specially

Hmmm I’ve just found the article. From this thread I was expecting her to be much bigger. She’s clearly very overweight but as a PP said she’s also very tall.

The uniform skirt is simply a great pleated skirt, longer than the Aldi pencil skirt she is wearing. There is no reason at all why she can’t buy a skirt like that in a 24. The school say her skirt isn’t long enough. They don’t say she must buy from the school shop. She wore her Aldi skirt all last year (when presumably it was longer) without issue. So the uniform thing is just a non story IMO. Her and her mother just need to follow the rules like everyone else.

However I am going to go against the grain and say I find it perfectly believable she’s medically fit. She’s only 14 and young bodies can cope with a lot. After all, what do people think is medically wrong with her? High cholesterol? Heart problems? Pretty unlikely at 14, even when you are terribly unhealthy. She won’t get away with it forever of course.

For all we know social services are already involved- the paper isn’t going to say either way- but I hope she gets the help she needs. Victims of sexual abuse often put on large amounts of weight and I very much hope that’s not the case here.

Nanbread

I think you have hit the nail on the head when you mentioned 'baby food manufacturers'.

Babies and children require food, not manufactured food.

I hope this was passed on from you after your training.

Do all the people slating the parents realise how difficult it is to get help for a child who is "only" over-eating?

My two DDs are 16. Thanks to their cunt of a father they are both troubled, especially over the last three years. One has underlying health problems and took to self harming. Because she had good medical professionals around her we were lucky with her - she saw CAHMS relatively quickly. Got help and is doing well. the hospital social worker is really helpful when we need it.

Her sister has no underlying health problems, but she eats. Now I went between a size 16-18 so when I realise she had the tendency to comfort eat I radically altered my own eating. Our house is a much healthier house in terms of junk food and snacks etc. However, she's a teenager. So she eats when she's at school, with friends etc. When we cut down any money she had access too she would steal food (wander round lidl eating a muffin, or Tesco doing the same). I tried everything - we cuddled and encouraged, we yelled at each other, she cooked and meal planned with me, but it wasn't enough and the only help she was offered was a cheap subscription to WeightWatchers. Not only does she feel worthless because of her father, but now she has "proof" that people care more for her sister because she has asked for help from school and doctors and they said no whereas they bend over backwards to help her sister.

We're lucky that we had the money to take her for counselling privately - anyone else who was in that situation and didn't have money to throw at it would have been scuppered.

Passthecheerycoke

Jesus Christ, how much bigger does a child have to be for you to be shocked?

Are you attempting to insinuate the size of this poor young girl is in any way normal?

Yabu to start a thread discussing the body of a teenage girl. It’s irrelevant whether you are doing so sympathetically and blaming the parents. She’s still old enough to read it, and be hurt by anything well intentioned or not.

Obviously her own parents invited comment by running to the media, and I’m sure other wankers are discussing it in a much less sensitive way in other places she could read it. But it’s still fucking disgusting that a group mainly consisting of mothers are willing to post about a young girls body in a place she’ll be able to easily access it. Especially so when everyone knows the bottom end of the media like to share mn posts.

I felt really sorry for her. She will find threads like this and I think her mum has let her down by going to the national press.i won’t comment on her weight but I hope she gets support as being in the media in this way is unlikely to be helpful to her.

Her mum could get her a size 24 grey pleated skirt from eBay or a straight one from Next. She's just making excuses, the school have said it's the wrong material and it's too short.

I saw that article and other than wondering at the mum for doing it, I wondered why there is no intervention triggering upper bmi for under 16s - if your bmi is under 15 you can be sectioned but it seems that there should be a trigger for help at the other end of the scale.

Whoever is still repeating Eat Less Move More needs to educated on the hormonal causes of obesity. High carb intake = chronic high insulin. Insulin is the fat storage hormone.

How on earth has the poor child even got to that size without the parents stepping in?

I'm a 24, It's not a size you get to overnight, I'm here because I eat junk food, comfort eat and have no self control with portion sizes, as a teenager I would have been really pissed off with my mum for not stepping in and cooking me healthy dinners and encouraging me to exercise and put down the fork occasionally, because having got to this size even if by some miracle I loose weight I am always going to be a bit saggy and have stretch marks and loose skin. My joints hurt, I get out of breath easily, my back hurts, I can't touch my toes, hot weather is fucking disgusting and my thighs and my boobs and the overhang on my tummy all rub. I am trying to loose weight but I physically can't exercise anywhere near as much as I need to, because I can't breathe after a few minutes. I dread to think what damage I have done that I can't see.

It’s disgusting that a 14 year old has been allowed to get so fat that she is a size 24!

@Reallynowdear

“Jesus Christ, how much bigger does a child have to be for you to be shocked?

Are you attempting to insinuate the size of this poor young girl is in any way normal?“

I don’t really understand your post. I’ve not said anything about being shocked or otherwise, and have given you no reason at all to think I think her weight is normal. I don’t know if you’ve misread or what really.

Perhaps her mum has tried to encourage her? Who knows.

What I find odd is that you apparently blame your sister in law for all your brother’s weight problems.

Passthercherrycoke

I commented after reading the first 2 lines of you post.

Then, after reading the first line of your third paragraph.

Oh right. well maybe try reading the whole thing next time otherwise your replies won’t make sense

your post ffs

If it were that easy, don't you think she would do it?

Passthecherrycoke

I have read your whole post and stand by my comments.

Ok

My issue is that whilst the eat less move more mantra is crass like others I think it’s terrible the mum has courted the publicity. Why’s the dad not at fault? I don’t know. He’s just not the one doing the sad face pose for the newspapers

To be fair there is no reason to think nothing is being done about her weight- we’re just assuming she’s been left to get bigger and bigger without intervention. She might be (hopefully) getting lots of help (all better than “eat less move more” hopefully)

I’m confused as to how she can be healthy whilst being a size 24. I’m unsure as to why social services aren’t involved, surely they would be. Poor girl

Why’s the dad not at fault? I don’t know. He’s just not the one doing the sad face pose for the newspapers

I think people are only blaming the mother because there is no mention of the dad. It could be plausible that he doesn't live with or see his daughter and therefore without this knowledge it is unfair to blame him. Of course if he is involved in her life then absolutely the blame should be shared amongst both parents.

@TrainspottingWelsh it's a cause for concern how she's been left to get so big. Her mum has opened her daughter up to this limelight by putting it in the national press about the issue... an like it says she wore the same skirt last year so it's been an ongoing problem. It isn't healthy and no good for her. It isn't bullying or cruel. It's really shocked me how a mother could let this happen as it's not something new an say she's healthy an go to the press. If they didn't want a reaction they wouldn't of done it .... it's just cruel on this poor girl!

Poor kid. Imagine being 14 and having your weight and clothing issues dissected by the nation.