14 year old in a size 24. AIBU to think her mum should do something ?

[Sweetpeach3]

Just read an article in the paper that a girl age 14 is in a size 24 clothes an can't get a uniform to fit her. She's medically healthy just clearly a bad relationship with food. Her mum isn't slim either from the pictures.
AIBU as a mother to think her mum should be trying to encourage her daughter to eat better and not be as big as it isn't healthy what so ever in the long term of things also the name calling etc it isn't a nice thing. Been a big girl isn't an issue I just think a size 24 is rather large for a 14 year old....
My brother is 25 stone at 30 and he's constantly in hospital with problems linked to his weight and it's awful to watch - his wife is a big feeder to him. He was a slim athletic rugby player before he met her then he just spiralled. We've tried to get him to fat club etc. He lasted a week an left as she didn't want to do it. She's also very big. It's a viscous circle because it's easy to put on and hard to shift !

I just personally think as a mum you would want better for your daughter at this age specially

I seen the article and felt horrified. Several issues here. This did not happen overnight. So it should have been dealt with before things got so bad. Despite what they say she cannot be healthy at that size.
Surely it is made much worse with her mum going to the media . That is going to cause more problems.

I think starting a thread is infinitely less bad than deliberately creating a story in a national news outlet. It’s possible the girl could stumble across this forum and be upset but is less likely to be an issue than seeing yourself in a paper posing with your misguided mum

Looking at the school uniform guide, which states from Sept 2019, skirts must be tailored and specifically not stretch.

It’s September, there are always articles about children breaking school rules, there being consequences and the parents claiming the rules shouldn’t apply to them.

Poor kid. Imagine being 14 and having your weight and clothing issues dissected by the nation.

No one would be commenting on anything though if her mother hadn't run to the papers. I'm just hoping that with the backlash against her mother this poor girl can get away from the situation she finds herself in and begins with proper support to lose the weight before something serious happens.

I assume when the mum says medically healthy she means there is an absence of medical problems caused by the weight. Provided this is the case (and no reason to think it isn’t) I don’t know why it’s causing so much contention

This is a highly disturbing thread I think, people calling 'child abuse' then analysing her weight/ issues suggesting 1000 calories a day etc, just horrifying tbh. Simple fact is that the school should treat this child with compassion and equally to her peers. And health matters need to be addressed with her GP not a load of women on here with their own fucked up attitudes to food.

So OP yabu to start this thread under the pretence of shock and 'caring'.

Her mum has opened her daughter up to this limelight by putting it in the national press about the issue.

And you started a thread about it on here. Two wrongs don't make a right

And health matters need to be addressed with her GP not a load of women on here with their own fucked up attitudes to food.

Men post on here too...

people calling 'child abuse'

How is it not child abuse??

This is a real, named child you are talking about. Discussing her life in this way on Mumsnet is revolting. I have reported this thread, I'm absolutely horrified by it.

All of that is irrelevant op. Surely nobody is stupid enough to believe reading this thread could be in any way constructive to a young girl? Your ‘concern’ and ‘shock’ helps her in what way exactly?

The fact her parents are wankers and started it doesn’t add anything to your justification either. Just because they’ve opened her up to discussion it doesn’t mean you, or anyone else has a free pass to pass comment. Nor do I give a fuck what her parents might think reading this or any other public comments.

But I stand by the fact it’s cruel to discuss a fucking child when she could easily read every word. Not just you, everyone else that’s posted their thoughts on her.

She’s not abused if the girl is well cared for, loved, supported and is receiving the physical and mental healthcare she requires to deal with her problem is it?

For all we know she’s receiving all that. It wouldn’t magically make her a normal weight.

I think the fact her or the mum went to the media (and if it was her the mum didn’t stop her) and that the mum didn’t make her adhere to uniform rules is more evidence of poor parenting than the weight, because we have no idea how the weight is being addressed

Why on earth would the mother go to the press with this. The poor child

And health matters need to be addressed with her GP not a load of women on here with their own fucked up attitudes to food

To whom are you referring? I don't see any fucked up attitudes, the vast majority are expressing concern over a child who it's obvious to anyone with an ounce of common sense needs help to start eating a healthier less ca!orific diet.

Poor poor child.

There is no excuse as a parent to allow your child to get to such an unhealthy weight. I’m overweight but never would I allow my children to be. They are fed a healthy diet and snacks are limited. They are active and take part in sports etc. It’s part of raising a child to teach them these things.

It’s abuse to allow your child to become morbidly obese and is going to have a lifelong effect on their health. If someone was handing their teenagers cigarettes and letting them smoke 40 a day people would be up in arms but obesity can do far more damage. We need to start recognising it as abuse and stopping it getting to this point.

And health matters need to be addressed with her GP not a load of women on here with their own fucked up attitudes to food.

Speak for yourself.

She’s plenty old enough to be eating in secret though imagine

Poor girl. The school should turn a blind eye to the uniform rather than the parenting. Instead the parenting isn’t under scrutiny, just the skirt. Totally back to front.

She’s plenty old enough to be eating in secret though imagine

Well yes she is but she wasn't always old enough to do so and as many posters have pointed out she didn't suddenly wake up one morning clinically obese. This level of obesity has been prolonged and the weight gain sustained sadly there's no way it only started as she got old enough to control her own diet.

Aged 14 and in a size 24!?!? No one should be size 24. It's obscene.

Of course she didn’t wake up clinically obese. But it could easily have happened in the last few years. We just don’t know do we? There isn’t really much we know at all, and some huge assumptions being made by posters here

@Passthecherrycoke if the daughter is medically fit and there’s no medical reason for her obesity, then it’s down to her diet and excercise. Or lack there of?

It is by sheer definition child abuse. It’s dangerous to the childs health and can cause so much harm emotionally and physically. Splashing the child over the papers and internet is just awful too.

I do agree that a MN thread doesn’t make it any better and in no way helps to address the issue. I think OP meant it to discuss, not to ridicule or analyse what the poor girl eats etc..

Shes been sent to school in a skirt too short. Shorter than all the other girls at school.

Its also a stretchy skirt,made of elastic material, so its also different looking from all the others.

The school is working hard to source an iutsize skirt for her so she has the same as everyone else

She was treated the same as any of my dc would be treated for turning up in the wrong uniform and exoecting it to be accepted despite clear rules.

I wonder who the family blame for her weight.

Obviously its the schools fault she wearig the wrong skirt

Where's the link to the article.

All I could find was the sun and star articles.

It doesnt seem to be in anything serious.

But it could easily have happened in the last few years. We just don’t know do we?

If she only started eating in secret a few years ago then she wouldn't be a size 24. Why are you so determined to think it is the daughters fault? At only 14 years old the fault clearly lies with the parents.

i don't know why everyone is so surprised and outraged

this generation is going to struggle....look around you, junk food is everywhere, and so is the message that we need to eat and snack every hour!