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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report to school what my DD told me about this lunchtime supervisor?

547 replies

Namechangingforthis2019 · 14/09/2019 14:03

Dd(8) told me that yesterday she saw a lunchtime supervisor take a fish finger off the tray at the serving hatch with her fingers and eat it. Dd said no other adults saw, she has seen this staff member do this before.
Would you email school and pass on what dd said?

A few bits of context -

  • I believe dd, she is not likely to have made this up
  • lunchtime supervisor has been working there about 30 years. She’s very harsh with the kids (based on what dd has told me) and anecdotally other parents have said even the staff are a bit scared of her!
  • school has an outbreak of norovirus last week so have been very hot on infection control, washing hands etc.

I know she probably didn’t touch anyone else’s food, but it’s not right is it? If nothing else it’s unprofessional and sets a bad example to the kids. But I don’t want to bother the school if it’s not really a big deal.

Would you report it or leave it?

Yabu = I should not report it
yanbu = I should email the school about it

OP posts:
Frickinfabulous · 16/09/2019 05:45

Good job she is not in my child's year1 class. Teacher regularly goes round "testing" crisps out of child's packet at lunchtime ,"to check if they are poisonous" the kids love her and she is one of the best teacher I've met.

MyWitzEnd · 16/09/2019 05:53

Who can resist a cheeky fishfinger?!

Nexa · 16/09/2019 06:41

I find it equally batshit that out of (currently) 3515 voters in the poll, 11% don't think the OP IBU and agree she should report this.

So approx 386 people would feel the same and be prepared to email their school to report a cook for eating a fish finger!!!

Christ on a pike

spanglydangly · 16/09/2019 06:44

I feel there is something wrong with this thread.............but I just can't put my finger on it!

madcatladyforever · 16/09/2019 06:49

You just don't know people's circumstances. This woman could be hungry and not getting enough food at home.
I ignore everything including elderly patients of mine who grow weed for pain relief as it's not my business.
I'd only report something if it was hurting someone vulnerable.

Oblomov19 · 16/09/2019 06:58

Let's get the cook sacked! For her fish finger eating. Yes op, report it to the school! FFS Hmm

December2019 · 16/09/2019 07:05

I probably would have grabbed a handful of fish fingers to be honest 😂

youarenotkiddingme · 16/09/2019 08:01

Harsh replies.

Yes it's only a fish finger.

But say there's 200 pupils in this school.

Dd is likely not the only child who saw it.

What are the children who also saw it learning? It's ok to take food when you think no ones looking? What if every LTSA took a fish finger because "it's on,y a fish finger". Would it then leave a shortage for the pupils or them having to have the other option they may not like? Perhaps they are also on low income and extremely hungry.

I don't think I'd report it but I would encourage my child to speak to the cook if she felt concerned about it and report what they saw.

B9ddy · 16/09/2019 08:02

Maybe they pay her minimum wage on a zero hours contract to feed your snitch and she is hungry
Teach daughter that there are poor hungry people out there
Not how to be small minded

Dillydallyalltheway · 16/09/2019 08:23

Just don’t do it. She could have been really hungry and couldn’t wait until her lunchtime, you don’t know her financial circumstances. It’s obviously not the best thing to do whilst serving the children but it’s not a crime. As others have said, why did your daughter even feel the need to blab on her? Not saying that your DD is not being truthful but maybe she made it up because this harridan lunch server told her off for something.

Please don’t report it. It’s not worth someone’s job.

RosesAndRaindrops · 16/09/2019 08:32

Don't think the DD was "blabbing" as such - I mean she was just talking about her day, she wasn't to know Mum would turn it into Fishfingergate Grin

KUGA · 16/09/2019 08:39

I wouldn't bother tbh.
Also how would you feel if she got the sack over a f/finger ? pretty awful I bet.

Saddler · 16/09/2019 08:47

Absolute madness

wuddenyalike2know · 16/09/2019 08:50

@Namechangingforthis2019 - I cannot believe you have the headspace for this. In terms of your daughter - the fruit certainly doesn't fall far from the tree. Do you have a job? Ard you not busy enough? You need to get a life. Your daughter also sounds ridiculous. I think you should report it just so you become massively unpopular at the school - you deserve it. This sort of thing is what is wrong with the world. Give me a break and please...sit your @ss down.

wuddenyalike2know · 16/09/2019 08:51

@kuga I dont think she would feel bad. I think she would be happy. She sounds so righteous it is unbelievable. To even post this is beyond....

Nancydrawn · 16/09/2019 09:13

11% of people voted YANBU.

I despair.

zingally · 16/09/2019 09:16

Snitches get stitches.

Honestly, what nonsense.

I work in a school, and the amount of food that gets wasted is astronomical.

Come the end of serving, there's often leftovers, and staff are encouraged to help themselves! Plus, a lunchtime supervisor is on a low income, and if having a couple of fish fingers helps her out a bit, you go for it.

Both you, and your daughter need a bit of an education.

roisinagusniamh · 16/09/2019 09:20

Please teach your child to be less judgemental.

RufusthebewiIderedreindeer · 16/09/2019 09:24

I think its very unfair to criticise the child

We’ve no idea how she told mummy...she may well have thought it was funny or unfair that the dinner lady gets to help her self but mummy won’t let her

Or just a passing comment that mum questioned further

BigSandyBalls2015 · 16/09/2019 09:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LolaSmiles · 16/09/2019 09:56

Rufus
I see your point.
But I would also imagine though given the OP's response is to report to school that the child is learning to go home and then mum will complain to school. That's perhaps an unfair inference to make, but kids pick up on adult reactions.

DC: Guess what Mum! The dinner lady had a fish finger at lunch today.
Mum: That's nice darling. Maybe she was hungry.
End of conversation.

Vs
DC: Mum, you know that dinner lady I was telling you about (from previous tales)
Mum: the mean one?
DC: Yeah Well she stole a fishfinger today
Mum: Did she now? It's not very good to be stealing.
DC: And she's done it before. I've seen her do it all the time but nobody else sees her.

Two different conversations. One is more indicative of a child who tells their parent snippets from their day, the other matches more like a parent who encourages that sort of tattling behaviour.

I'm not saying either are how the original conversation happened but most kids wouldn't go home giving blow by blow accounts of a lunch supervisor they've been watching unless there was some adult encouragement.

Elsie1966 · 16/09/2019 10:17

What does op comment about dinner lady being harsh with the children have to do with "stealing" a fish finger? Bad blood maybe, perhaps she was op dinner lady when she was in school hence knowing she has been there 30 yrs

Juells · 16/09/2019 10:49

The 18-page stolen fish finger thread.

Olderkids · 16/09/2019 12:36

As an ex headteacher, I would say that the school probably has much more important fish (fingers) to fry!!

MrsBadcrumble123 · 16/09/2019 12:45

Did you clutch your pearls when she told you?