Is my DP hiding something

[theoverthinker]

I was unsure what topic to put this as but anyway.. I'll try to keep it short.
Am I being unreasonable to think something happened with DP last night?
So he went out last night with a big group of his mates. They all ended up back at one of his mates houses for drinks after and I spoke to him at 2am on the phone as he still wasn't home and he promised he wouldn't be back late. I messaged at about half 3 (he didn't read it) then tried ringing him at 6am (his phone was off) Roll on half 7 this morning and he finally strolls through the door.. I'm obviously really fuming as I'm very heavily pregnant and can't believe he would go out literally all night when I could pop at any time. When he came home I could hear him downstairs for a while and when he finally comes into the bedroom he's in just his boxers. I have a moan at him for being home so late and then ask him why he's taken his clothes off downstairs. He then claims he took them off in the bathroom (upstairs) and that they're on the landing so not to wake me up getting unchanged. So I'm thinking okay whatever.. 10 mins later I get up to go to the toilet and I realise his clothes arn't in the bathroom or the landing so I go downstairs and he then gets out of bed and follows me. I ask where his clothes are and he says they're in the washing machine?!?!! (Washing machine is not turned on) So at this point I'm confused as to why he'd lie and I question him about it because it's just an odd thing for him to do since I always seem to do the washing recently.. He says I'm being weird and that he can't be arsed to get his things out of the washing machine and that he doesn't understand why I'm questioning why he's stripped off as soon as he's got home and put his things in the machine.. so I take his word for it and think maybe I am being a bit paranoid.. So we go to bed and I fall asleep but I kept getting woken to the sound of him going in and out of the bedroom, going downstairs to make a drink, going the loo etc.. I've came downstairs at about half 11 this morning and he's still fast asleep because of his night out and I've just realised that whilst I was asleep he's put a wash on and washed his clothes from last night..
I literally have no idea why this is really bothering me because I just don't know what I'd expect to find on his clothes but it's just all very odd and like he's hiding something? Please tell me I'm being unreasonable and thinking too much into this because I just don't know what to think and I'm so confused! It's just the fact he's come home so late and he was still very drunk and extremely tired but his first thought was to hide his clothes in the machine and then put the wash on whilst I'm asleep and then creep up back to bed?

If you think it is suspicious, it probably is.

You woke him up, went through his phone and went on to him so much well think you’re a psycho? I don’t understand how people are telling you yabu! You bloody are! If this was a woman saying her partner had woken her up to cross examine her about something and questioned her so much, there’d be a pages of people saying how outrageous it was. Bonkers.

If you don’t trust him, don’t stay together.

Blimey. My dh will quite often come home, strip off and put all his clothes straight in the wash ( to be fair the machine is normally nearly full anyway). Never occurred to me this might be suspicious. If ypu know they need washing why not shove them straight in 🤷‍♀️

I think it's drunk yet innocent behaviour.
YABU and over-reacting.

It is weird yes and I can see why you're worried. Equally my DH does all kinds of weird things when he's pissed - starts cooking (he never cooks) walks around the house stripping off as he goes. Has no recollection the next day! Maybe his thing is washing machines?!

If he closed the machine and says he didn't intentionally put the wash load on then surely there wouldn't have been any washing powder/capsules or fabric conditioner? In which case it wouldn't ha e smelt of much. If it did come out smelling of washing products then he's lying about that part at least.

@SongforSal
Can you imagine someone came on here wrote a post saying my dh was out with his friends got pissed, when he came home his shirt had a red stain on it, dh said some drunk woman fell on him? AIBU to think he’s lying!!

Can you imagine the replies to the above

@Annaskies

Just to point out my washing machine has an automatic dispenser , you fill it up and it does loads of washes

I've only read the first page of comments, but I would just say I've been very drunk and done stupid things like that and it was literally because I was trying to be quiet and didn't want to smell of booze lol. When drink.is involved it could literally be anything. Don't drive yourself insane over it, see it as a strange one off that you hope to one day understand. Let the sober moments mean more. Best of luck with the pregnancy op xx

Im torn. I'd be reassured by his reaction. But the immediate washing of the clothes when he doesnt normally, plus no phone signal, plus following you downstairs and lying about 'the washing machine went on automatically' when you know it doesnt, shows he does have something to hide. Why lie about putting on a wash? That would really bug me. Could he have been sick? His friends wouldn't have necessarily known.

Either way though I'd be furious he was uncontaxtsble for a few hours when you are close to giving birth. Clearly he could have missed it. Why is he saying his phone was off? These days anyone has a charged to borrow

If you have access to his phone, is there anything on there that shows locations in the history so you could see where he actually was last night?

@evilspiritgin well I didn't know that! Wow I feel old, I'm so behind gadget wise 😂

He wears shorts under his trousers??

Even if you’ve decided there’s no cheating/drugs/violence, staying out so late and bring uncontactable is unacceptable when you’re heavily pregnant. How are you going to deal with that?

Sorry to write this again but...why does he wear shorts under his trousers!? Also I think you should just trust him, have you never done anything weird when drunk that you can’t really explain why? As long as it’s not a regular thing and let it go! Ps please explain the shorts and trousers and pants combo.

Have you got any further OP? I’d be suspicious too, not of any one thing but the fact that some actions are out of the ordinary.

I vomited on myself once, quietly cleaned up and stuck my clothes on a wash. It didn't soak through to my pants but I put them in anyway and got fully changed as pants need a wash anyway after wearing them all night. I don't think it's that strange (obviously it's grim but it's not something I've done since!), I wouldn't normally put a wash on at that time but I wouldn't leave vomit-covered clothes to fester. I would assume something like that. He's probably forgotten he vommed on them.

Has he said anything about it this morning?

I just feel sorry for the unborn baby coming in to this relationship

Why @lovemenorca?

@lovemenorca
Op is heavily pregnant.
That comment will add to whatever stress she is feeling.
Check yourself.

I remember several times getting blackout drunk and thinking I was doing the household a favour by washing my clothes and showering immediately upon returning home. Thought I was so reasonable and respectful in those moments and only reading this thread has made me realise just how suspicious that was!

Could he have vomited on himself and just wanted to hide the evidence.

I would take a look at the wash he chose, it is a hot wash or the general one? If its a special setting I would wonder why. Also I would look at his clothes, if a normal wash some marks may not have come out and he may not have emptied his pockets in his drunken state either.

@lovemenorca why do you say that? No actual evidence of anything totally untoward, so why that snarky comment?