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Original poster

Is my DP hiding something

174 replies

theoverthinker · 14/09/2019 12:59

I was unsure what topic to put this as but anyway.. I'll try to keep it short.
Am I being unreasonable to think something happened with DP last night?
So he went out last night with a big group of his mates. They all ended up back at one of his mates houses for drinks after and I spoke to him at 2am on the phone as he still wasn't home and he promised he wouldn't be back late. I messaged at about half 3 (he didn't read it) then tried ringing him at 6am (his phone was off) Roll on half 7 this morning and he finally strolls through the door.. I'm obviously really fuming as I'm very heavily pregnant and can't believe he would go out literally all night when I could pop at any time. When he came home I could hear him downstairs for a while and when he finally comes into the bedroom he's in just his boxers. I have a moan at him for being home so late and then ask him why he's taken his clothes off downstairs. He then claims he took them off in the bathroom (upstairs) and that they're on the landing so not to wake me up getting unchanged. So I'm thinking okay whatever.. 10 mins later I get up to go to the toilet and I realise his clothes arn't in the bathroom or the landing so I go downstairs and he then gets out of bed and follows me. I ask where his clothes are and he says they're in the washing machine?!?!! (Washing machine is not turned on) So at this point I'm confused as to why he'd lie and I question him about it because it's just an odd thing for him to do since I always seem to do the washing recently.. He says I'm being weird and that he can't be arsed to get his things out of the washing machine and that he doesn't understand why I'm questioning why he's stripped off as soon as he's got home and put his things in the machine.. so I take his word for it and think maybe I am being a bit paranoid.. So we go to bed and I fall asleep but I kept getting woken to the sound of him going in and out of the bedroom, going downstairs to make a drink, going the loo etc.. I've came downstairs at about half 11 this morning and he's still fast asleep because of his night out and I've just realised that whilst I was asleep he's put a wash on and washed his clothes from last night..
I literally have no idea why this is really bothering me because I just don't know what I'd expect to find on his clothes but it's just all very odd and like he's hiding something? Please tell me I'm being unreasonable and thinking too much into this because I just don't know what to think and I'm so confused! It's just the fact he's come home so late and he was still very drunk and extremely tired but his first thought was to hide his clothes in the machine and then put the wash on whilst I'm asleep and then creep up back to bed?

OP posts:
NotStayingIn · 14/09/2019 13:35

Sorry I think encounter with a woman. Smoking doesn’t bother you. He’s clearly not wet himself as still wearing the shorts, and any mishaps with alcohol wouldn’t require washing straight away. As in, you knew he was in drinking, no need to hide that. Sex is the only one that could mean outer clothing are dirty (make up, perfume) and underwear is dirty (no need to spell out why) but the shorts could have remained fine given they didn’t come into direct contact with anyone or his bits. It’s all just so incredibly odd I would definitely assume the worst. Sorry OP.

Juells · 14/09/2019 13:36

My ex came in one night stinking of perfume. When I asked how come he said someone in the pub had been messing around spraying people with perfume. Hmm Like a fool I accepted his explanation. Another time I came home to the washing machine going - this was someone who had never washed anything ever - and he claimed he'd spilled a cup of tea on his trousers and it had soaked through Hmm Again, I accepted it but both those things registered at some level.

Unusual behaviour is always covering something up.

ErickBroch · 14/09/2019 13:39

Would find it suspicious too but depending on how much you trust him... he could very well have pissed himself if he got that drunk. My DP would die before telling me if he'd done that lol. Hopefully that's all it is - if he doesn't act weird any more the next week or so it probably was something like that.

NewMe2019 · 14/09/2019 13:40

He's likely cheated. Anything else he would have fessed up if it was something like vomit. He clearly hasn't pissed or shit himself. He was sound enough to work out he needed to take his clothes off downstairs, including removing his underwear and putting the shorts back on, and to follow you when you got up and sneak back to switch the machine on when you were asleep.

One thing only I'm afraid.

TheQueef · 14/09/2019 13:40

Sorry you are not being unreasonable.
If it was anything other than sex he would just say, not fuck about immediately washing his clothes in case you do...
(Even piss he would blame a mate)

TheQueef · 14/09/2019 13:41

XP with newme.

Hederex · 14/09/2019 13:42

He is definitely hiding something. Not sure what. I think I'd have got the clothes out then and there when he followed you down, but I can appreciate that if nothing had been found it would have led to a huge row over nothing.

Morgan12 · 14/09/2019 13:43

Sounds like he was on cocaine anyway.

It's a strange one thats for sure. But he could just be paranoid over something as innocent as the smell of weed maybe?

GinNotGym19 · 14/09/2019 13:45

It is dodgy. Wearing 3 layers on his bottom half is weird but besides the point. I don’t think you’re going to get the truth out of him and evidence is long gone! Has he got any previous behaviours to suggest he’d be a cheat?

Lifeisabeach09 · 14/09/2019 13:49

Definitely hiding something and likely cheated. Sorry, OP.

NoDontLookAtMeImShy · 14/09/2019 13:49

Sounds like he was on cocaine?! Ffs only on MN.

OP the washing the clothes does sound dodgy but before Mumsnet have you filing for divorce, unless your DH has a history of being unfaithful the assume it hurled on himself or something before jumping to conclusions and ask him out right.

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 14/09/2019 13:50

Could you say - I know something is up, and I’m not going to let it drop until you tell me the truth...what happened last night?

Westiegirl3 · 14/09/2019 13:50

Wearing three layers is odd... I'm not normally a suspicious type, but I have alarm bells with this one.
I would be asking for an explanation when he wakes and if he didn't give you the truth, I would be asking him to leave until he was prepared too.

StressyDressyHeels · 14/09/2019 13:52

My DHs friend puts his clothes straight in the wash to get other women’s make up off them. On that basis I’d be suspicious.

Heartburn888 · 14/09/2019 13:53

It is really weird. Also is your dp friends with mine coz mine pulls stunts like that all the time and they got in at the same time this morning 🤬

He might of shit himself on the way home? Or pissed himself spending on how pissed he was?

Have you ever had worried or concerns he’s been unfaithful before? To be honest I’d be checking his phone if my suspicions were that strong

YouJustDoYou · 14/09/2019 13:55

It's very odd behaviour. If he's been out with mates, chances are one of them knows what happened and have drunkenly messaged each other about it/put Facebook photos up of the night before he notices and gets them to delete it. It's happened so many times like that before. Or...He's vomited on himself and is ashamed?

HaveIGoneMad · 14/09/2019 13:57

None of that sounds great OP sorry, I would definitely have my suspicions, and I think he either needs to tell you exactly what happened, with a major apology for being out so late and uncontactable when your heavily pregnant, or I hate to say it but I'm not sure I could trust him after that because that is very strange behaviour. You do know him better than any of us do though obviously and so I think it's down to your gut feeling.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 14/09/2019 13:59

My dh would also die of embarrassment if he'd puked or set himself as a result of getting so drunk so he would put his stuff in the machine, although struggle to find the on button Hmm Don't think the worst just yet.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 14/09/2019 14:00

*wet himself

Morgomargot · 14/09/2019 14:02

I would find this suspicious too, OP but if my DH did this my first assumption would be he's been smoking or if he was completely hammered that he had puked on himself.

Do you have a reason, other than this incident, to think he may have cheated on you? Would it be totally out of the blue and out of character if he did?

Walnutwhipster · 14/09/2019 14:02

Something fishy, especially going back to put the washing machine on.

Poppyfields21 · 14/09/2019 14:04

Hmm something about it just doesn’t add up. Once he’s woken up I’d be interrogating him but I get the feeling he’s just going to gaslight you about the whole thinf

Wonderland18 · 14/09/2019 14:04

Even hit him with an oh one of my friends think they seen you last night and gauge his reaction? I wouldn’t look through his phone personally but even if you did it could show nothing as even if he’s cheated there may not be a trail. It’s him that needs to explain himself a bit better.

stanski · 14/09/2019 14:05

Very suspicious. Trust your gut. Can you access his phone?

stanski · 14/09/2019 14:06

Are you in touch with any of his friends DP/DW? At least they could confirm whether he was indeed with the rest of them or not?

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