Is my DP hiding something

[theoverthinker]

I was unsure what topic to put this as but anyway.. I'll try to keep it short.
Am I being unreasonable to think something happened with DP last night?
So he went out last night with a big group of his mates. They all ended up back at one of his mates houses for drinks after and I spoke to him at 2am on the phone as he still wasn't home and he promised he wouldn't be back late. I messaged at about half 3 (he didn't read it) then tried ringing him at 6am (his phone was off) Roll on half 7 this morning and he finally strolls through the door.. I'm obviously really fuming as I'm very heavily pregnant and can't believe he would go out literally all night when I could pop at any time. When he came home I could hear him downstairs for a while and when he finally comes into the bedroom he's in just his boxers. I have a moan at him for being home so late and then ask him why he's taken his clothes off downstairs. He then claims he took them off in the bathroom (upstairs) and that they're on the landing so not to wake me up getting unchanged. So I'm thinking okay whatever.. 10 mins later I get up to go to the toilet and I realise his clothes arn't in the bathroom or the landing so I go downstairs and he then gets out of bed and follows me. I ask where his clothes are and he says they're in the washing machine?!?!! (Washing machine is not turned on) So at this point I'm confused as to why he'd lie and I question him about it because it's just an odd thing for him to do since I always seem to do the washing recently.. He says I'm being weird and that he can't be arsed to get his things out of the washing machine and that he doesn't understand why I'm questioning why he's stripped off as soon as he's got home and put his things in the machine.. so I take his word for it and think maybe I am being a bit paranoid.. So we go to bed and I fall asleep but I kept getting woken to the sound of him going in and out of the bedroom, going downstairs to make a drink, going the loo etc.. I've came downstairs at about half 11 this morning and he's still fast asleep because of his night out and I've just realised that whilst I was asleep he's put a wash on and washed his clothes from last night..
I literally have no idea why this is really bothering me because I just don't know what I'd expect to find on his clothes but it's just all very odd and like he's hiding something? Please tell me I'm being unreasonable and thinking too much into this because I just don't know what to think and I'm so confused! It's just the fact he's come home so late and he was still very drunk and extremely tired but his first thought was to hide his clothes in the machine and then put the wash on whilst I'm asleep and then creep up back to bed?

Oh and also the fact he followed you Downstairs was also weird. What did he say when you looked in the washing machine?

Let’s be honest here even I he just spil a drink down his top he’s not going to stick just his top in the washing machine, would make sense to stick the outfit in there and just keep something comfy to sleep in on

This is very possible, however, why would he strip right down and then put his shorts back on ? If he wanted something comfy to sleep in, yes certainly take off the jeans and t-shirt and shorts and go up stairs in the boxers, why take off the boxers, the last layer of clothing and then put back on the shorts.

I often put my clothes straight in the wash if I have been around people that have been smoking as I don’t want to spread the smell to my bedroom but seems odd that he got back up and put the washing on after you questioned him. I’m not sure what you can do, hopefully he will come clean and tell you what happened but if he has cheated I doubt he will confess.

There could be many reasons why he put his clothes on the wash but only really one reason why he wouldn’t tell you.

Maybe he wet himself? Was sick? Maybe he spilt a drink on himself? Are they nice clothes, maybe he just didn't want his favourite shirt ruined? 🤷🏼‍♀️
I think it's just not a lot to go on tbh and I would try not to worry.

Sounds like he was drunk and a skunk which would go some way to explain why what he's told you doesn't make sense. Wait till he's sobered up and ask him you might get more of an understandable answer then.

My first thought was he's probably pissed himself.

He’s been up to something or got himself in a state and is being deceptive

He was in such a deep sleep that I decided to look at his phone.. He knows that I know his password and it has never bothered him. There was nothing suspicious on there. I even looked at his group chat with his mates who he was with last night where they're all talking about last night and from those messages it sounds like it was just that group of lads back at their mates house drinking although there was the mention of drugs in one message.. I then woke him up and made it seem like I knew something and that I wanted him to tell me what happened. He just looked really confused and was like nothings happened and kept saying this every time I questioned him. I started crying and asked him why he'd washed his clothes and boxers and he claims he went down to get a drink and when he closed the washing machine door it automatically started a wash (you have to press a button to start the wash so I know that's bullshit) I told him I know somethings happened and that I've looked on his phone and he was just literally like I have no idea what you thinks happened and I don't care if you've been on my phone because I have nothing to hide.. I asked him if he's pissed himself and he said no and laughed and just said he took his clothes off and kept his shorts on to sleep in because it was comfier and he just put those clothes in the wash because he'd been in them all night. I literally don't even know what to think I feel like at this point if something really did happen I don't think I'll ever find out.

OP has he ever done anything in the past to make you suspicious?

It could be that he legitimately just got plastered and can't remember what exactly happened. If he's happy for you to look at his phone etc then that's probably a good sign.

Why did he think he could stay out so long when you're heavily pregnant and asked him not to? That's the bit I'd be most annoyed about.

It is suspicious but from everything you've said and his reaction to you looking at his phone, I think it's more embarrassing than something terrible

My DH did this once. Came home late at night, clothes stripped off into washing machine, bathroom and bed with new boxers. After mini interrogation it appears he shat himself and was too embarrassed to admit it. I've never let him live it down!

I'd be thinking he'd had sex with another woman. His clothes may have smelt of perfume and his boxers obv sex.

And to answers a lot of your same question. He has never done anything to make me suspicious of him cheating. We've been together for 4 years and he's quite quiet and rarely goes out but when he does go out he usually rings me throughout the night and messages me to make sure I'm okay. So I'm not used to this..

If anything did happen last night you are probably not going to find out about it now but it would make me suspicious. If I were you I would definitely be keeping a closer watch on him from now on especially similar lads nights out.

Maybe he just likes the clothes he was wearing and thought for once i'll chuck them in the wash. He could've pressed the button to turn it on and easily forgotten if he'd been drunk.
And shorts are more comfy than pants to wear so it's ok if he took off his shorts, put pants in wash and put shorts back on to sleep.
Take it easy and give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Your about to be parents together. You need to have some trust. If otherwise he's a good partner and this is the only thing your doing on then really take a step back. 💐

Oh you poor thing, this is the last thing you need at this stage of your pregnancy (or ever for that matter)

Just for one second, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt...

Did he have a shower before he went to bed? Sorry if that’s already been asked and answered but I feel like if he had been up to no good then showering would be the first thing he’d want to do. If there were smells/fluids from cheating on his clothes, surely a shower would be a priority for him too.

I totally agree that it’s a bit odd he put the wash on but his reasoning of taking off all his clothes so as not to wake you and washing them because he’d been in them all day isn’t the most far fetched thing ever.

Has he ever given you reason to doubt him? No one knows your husband better than you, what did your gut tell you when you challenged him about knowing something happened (brilliant strategy btw)?

Hopefully he won’t have cheated on you op. Do you know where he went last night? Maybe what taxi service he used? Could
You ring and ask where it was called from?

I can't wait till you get to the bottom of this!

Also, he didn't have a shower when he got home..

It's the odd habit changes that stand out. When you know someone really well and they start doing odd things, there's a reason for it.

I would look in the deleted photos folder on his phone.

thats sex on his clothes.

Second the notion of giving him the benefit of the doubt, he may have been drunk enough to do weird washing in the early mornings, know I have done some weird stuff as well without cheating. If he took a shower along side washing the clothes I would question things more.

Perfectly reasonable explanation. He was drunk and probably put his clothes in the washing machine because you wash clothes you've worn - as simple as that. Drunk people don't behave logically.

I had an ex once who was very quiet and only once in a blue moon went out. Once he went out with some mates and told me he wouldn't be back late. I was awake all night worried because he wasn't reading my messages and I had no idea where he was, in the end I got to sleep at 6am and when I woke up he was asleep on the living room floor looking like a mess. Turned out he got completely plastered and chucked out of a club by a couple of bouncers and he was absolutely mortified about it so didn't tell me the full story. I found out about it from his mates cus they were laughing at him for the next week. I joined in with the laughter tbh, what a mug.

From what you've said it doesn't scream cheat at me. Maybe I'm too trusting though? He might have just made a mug of himself, especially cus you said he doesn't go out (and therefore I assume drink) much normally.

@WaggingKnife
I did.. I looked at literally everything in his phone and there was nothing!