Is my DP hiding something

[theoverthinker]

I was unsure what topic to put this as but anyway.. I'll try to keep it short.
Am I being unreasonable to think something happened with DP last night?
So he went out last night with a big group of his mates. They all ended up back at one of his mates houses for drinks after and I spoke to him at 2am on the phone as he still wasn't home and he promised he wouldn't be back late. I messaged at about half 3 (he didn't read it) then tried ringing him at 6am (his phone was off) Roll on half 7 this morning and he finally strolls through the door.. I'm obviously really fuming as I'm very heavily pregnant and can't believe he would go out literally all night when I could pop at any time. When he came home I could hear him downstairs for a while and when he finally comes into the bedroom he's in just his boxers. I have a moan at him for being home so late and then ask him why he's taken his clothes off downstairs. He then claims he took them off in the bathroom (upstairs) and that they're on the landing so not to wake me up getting unchanged. So I'm thinking okay whatever.. 10 mins later I get up to go to the toilet and I realise his clothes arn't in the bathroom or the landing so I go downstairs and he then gets out of bed and follows me. I ask where his clothes are and he says they're in the washing machine?!?!! (Washing machine is not turned on) So at this point I'm confused as to why he'd lie and I question him about it because it's just an odd thing for him to do since I always seem to do the washing recently.. He says I'm being weird and that he can't be arsed to get his things out of the washing machine and that he doesn't understand why I'm questioning why he's stripped off as soon as he's got home and put his things in the machine.. so I take his word for it and think maybe I am being a bit paranoid.. So we go to bed and I fall asleep but I kept getting woken to the sound of him going in and out of the bedroom, going downstairs to make a drink, going the loo etc.. I've came downstairs at about half 11 this morning and he's still fast asleep because of his night out and I've just realised that whilst I was asleep he's put a wash on and washed his clothes from last night..
I literally have no idea why this is really bothering me because I just don't know what I'd expect to find on his clothes but it's just all very odd and like he's hiding something? Please tell me I'm being unreasonable and thinking too much into this because I just don't know what to think and I'm so confused! It's just the fact he's come home so late and he was still very drunk and extremely tired but his first thought was to hide his clothes in the machine and then put the wash on whilst I'm asleep and then creep up back to bed?

happened exactly this to my a friend.didnt have anything on his phone becasue it was a one night stand.scuffed his clothes against the wall it happened against and obiously messed his boxers for obvious reasons.
he never fessed up.one of his mates came forward and told her hed found them in the alley and dragged him back in but the "deed" had already taken place.

I would say pissed himself and too embarrassed to say

I honestly think nothing happened OP. You haven't had reason not to trust him in the past, you've checked his phone and found nothing. If your gut feeling is still there then keep your wits about you. Maybe talk to someone in real life too. He kept his shorts on to probably come to bed and sleep.

I think he got drunk, undressed downstairs to. It wake you (guilt about staying out setting in) and put them in the machine because that’s what happens to clothes downstairs and he was drunk.

I put chocolate cake in a Tupperware and in the cutlery drawer last time I’d had one too many. At least he got the right machine.

Putting the wash on is a bit more suspicious. Could still be the drink I suppose. Or he’d fallen? Been sick?

Could you check his google maps? I can usually check my whereabouts on the timeline

Smellbow - when your drunk and you've simply forgotten. Why would pressing the button for the washer be something to stick in your memory, it's so unimportant.

Please OP don't let the ridiculously over active imaginations of strangers on mn ruin your relationship!

I’d be inclined to believe him, he’s probably just not thought anything of what he was up too. Plus it’s not common behaviour for him so it’s not something you have to worry about happening often

All kinds of washing machine buttons could have been pressed by accident when you are half cut.
I honestly don't think he's done anything horrendous OP.
It's awful that you are having to read some of the scenarios presented here when you are at such a vulnerable time in your life.

Jesus this is mad. You have never had suspicion before and he had an all nighter at his mates. You've checked his phone and there's nothing there, no messages like 'oh where did you get off to so and so'. I think it sounds legit, the fact he didn't shower either?? If you had fucked someone and come home I am pretty sure you would shower.

Haha now I'm starting to think he really did get undressed downstairs so as not to wake you

Do you know any of the wives/gfs of his mates? I've found that it's pretty common for one of the men to say something to a wife/gf about a friend acting the fool on a night out. And if the wives/gfs know each other, shit gets out. If you'd feel comfortable, I'd wait a few days to let this happen and then call & ask.

Otherwise, I'd say you're pretty stuck. Either he did or he didn't do something wrong. If he did, he will never admit to it. All you can do now is file it in the 'red flag' drawer in your mind and see if something similar happens again.

Reading this I just think he's been a typical drunk arsehole an stunk so easiest thing was to throw his clothes in the washer save smelling out the bathroom. If he's kept the shorts on he went out on but put everything else in the washer AND didn't shower I don't think he's anything to hide. Specially going through his phone and finding nothing he's just got carried away by the sounds of it!

But if he was on drugs that could of made him ignore you as they don't think straight on them.

My DH did it last year and went back to our best friends house. His girlfriend text me an told me she woke up an they was all in the kitchen an she went to work at 9am an left them to it - she was as annoyed as I was but glad it was her house not mine lol. But We still hadn't spoke. Then he He rang me at 12 sayin phone had died etc he's on way home . So I just locked him out until the next day for thinking it's ok to take the piss an not come home (was innocent an he got carried away but it isn't the point as I thought something bad until our friend text moaning also) . But He's never been out since on drugs haha he goes pub in the day an usually home drunk for bedtime ! Lesson learnt x

I think he just had a heavy night on the booze, fell asleep somewhere,then came home very late, and didn't know the half of what he was doing.. A lot of people can't remember The night before,after a lot of alcohol..

All this checking of stuff,and all the suspicions can drive you mad.

YANBU

I have done weird things when drunk as well. It sounds like he was just out of it and decided to wash his clothes. They probably did stink after being in them all night. He didn't shower. I think you will just need to let this go.

I think I'm just going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm glad I wrote it down and got your opinions on it because it's made me realise I'm not entirely crazy and that most of you would also think it's suspicious behaviour.. I suppose I'll never know what's really gone on, if there's anything that went on in the first place! I've questioned him now to point where I look like a psycho but I'm sure if it was the other way around my DP would be suspicious that I'd done something or was hiding something.
I'll give an update if anything comes out but at this point I doubt it will.. Thank you everyone for your replies

My husband can almost sleep walk when he’s really tired and drunk. I’ve found him making sandwiches and trying to hoover at three am and he’s always deeply confused and defensive about it. I reckon he was extremely drunk and just got a weird urge to wash things. Doesn’t remember it properly and hasn’t done anything other than get shitfaced.

Does he ever do his own washing? Does he ever strip off at night and put everything into the washing machine and go to sleep and then wake up and turn the washing machine on?

Does he change his boxers every day OP? Maybe the shorts were new but the boxers were a few days old...

This is really suspicious. If he'd soiled himself, I'd expect him to be a bit embarrassed but tell you and have a laugh about it. Anything else and he is hiding something

My ex used to pull all nighters. When he came home his clothes absolutely stank, so Id ask him to put them straight in the wash before coming to bed.

Perhaps he knew they’d stink so thats why he did it.

Only on mumsnet would a man go on a night out and become a cocaine-addles rapist who shits his pants confused

Indeed.

Or hold the headlines "man puts clothes in washing machine after night out"

Woahhh...I think that it could be a number of things...how are you in general about things? From experience of men they will avoid a confrontation at all costs,even over little things that you would not actually be bothered about- he might have spilled a drink on himself (or someone else did) and if it's still wet could indicate he was drinking well into the morning which you might be pissed off at...he could have blood on it and doesn't want to get into a discussion about what is was as maybe one of his mates was in a fight and he doesn't want to tell you about it...maybe he had weed himself which he might be very embarrassed about or vomited a bit...he probably wasn't thinking rationally either and still pissed- also could he have fallen over and got covered in mud?

If he hasn't had a shower then he hasn't pissed or shit his pants. The clothes might be clean but he would still stink.

Check the bathroom to see if he's left a mess anywhere cleaning himself up.

If he's never done this with the washing machine before I suspect he is hiding something. And not shitty boxers.