Is my DP hiding something

[theoverthinker]

I was unsure what topic to put this as but anyway.. I'll try to keep it short.
Am I being unreasonable to think something happened with DP last night?
So he went out last night with a big group of his mates. They all ended up back at one of his mates houses for drinks after and I spoke to him at 2am on the phone as he still wasn't home and he promised he wouldn't be back late. I messaged at about half 3 (he didn't read it) then tried ringing him at 6am (his phone was off) Roll on half 7 this morning and he finally strolls through the door.. I'm obviously really fuming as I'm very heavily pregnant and can't believe he would go out literally all night when I could pop at any time. When he came home I could hear him downstairs for a while and when he finally comes into the bedroom he's in just his boxers. I have a moan at him for being home so late and then ask him why he's taken his clothes off downstairs. He then claims he took them off in the bathroom (upstairs) and that they're on the landing so not to wake me up getting unchanged. So I'm thinking okay whatever.. 10 mins later I get up to go to the toilet and I realise his clothes arn't in the bathroom or the landing so I go downstairs and he then gets out of bed and follows me. I ask where his clothes are and he says they're in the washing machine?!?!! (Washing machine is not turned on) So at this point I'm confused as to why he'd lie and I question him about it because it's just an odd thing for him to do since I always seem to do the washing recently.. He says I'm being weird and that he can't be arsed to get his things out of the washing machine and that he doesn't understand why I'm questioning why he's stripped off as soon as he's got home and put his things in the machine.. so I take his word for it and think maybe I am being a bit paranoid.. So we go to bed and I fall asleep but I kept getting woken to the sound of him going in and out of the bedroom, going downstairs to make a drink, going the loo etc.. I've came downstairs at about half 11 this morning and he's still fast asleep because of his night out and I've just realised that whilst I was asleep he's put a wash on and washed his clothes from last night..
I literally have no idea why this is really bothering me because I just don't know what I'd expect to find on his clothes but it's just all very odd and like he's hiding something? Please tell me I'm being unreasonable and thinking too much into this because I just don't know what to think and I'm so confused! It's just the fact he's come home so late and he was still very drunk and extremely tired but his first thought was to hide his clothes in the machine and then put the wash on whilst I'm asleep and then creep up back to bed?

Nah he doesnt do washing usually but threw his stuff in and lied then got up and washed them-definitely hiding something

OK so he wears boxers and shorts over them, the boxers were in the wash, the shorts were still on him. As the boxers are next to his skin/body I would assume he came in his boxers, so either the shorts were off when he came in his boxers or he still had the 2 on and nothing went on the shorts. My thinking is that he was standing, maybe walked home ? got taxi with someone else, was saying good bye and she gave him a hand job.

The top could have had makeup, perfume on them.

The jeans, well my only assumption here is that he wasn't standing with another woman but maybe lying in a field, grass etc.

The only other thing could be blood, he's hurt someone and was covered in blood, however this doesn't tie in with the boxers needing washing and not the shorts.

As he is someone who don't wash clothes no matter how pissed someone is, they are not going to be drinking all night, partying and come home thinking "Oh I must wash my clothes" I don't even do that and I have OCD re cleanliness.

Sounds like he was on cocaine anyway.

wut?

Jesus there are some over active imaginations on here.

lipz has nailed it with the order of his clothes

he wore the shorts so he could cometo bed in something after he (i would suspect) either went a strip club/shagged another woman etc

i dont suspect drugs, i dosuspect hes cheated. sorry OP

check his phone

Did you ring him or did he ring you? If it didn't come up with his mobile number I'm wondering if it's something as simple as he's spent the night in cells and is embarrassed. Ie he got in a fight/pulled for drunk and disorderly behaviour, therefore potential for vomit and/or blood if fighting.

Suspicious yes. Also shit that you're heavily pregnant and he's out ignoring you.

I'd suspect cheating. It's too strange to be much else.

He cheated and has washed the evidence away (cum). Sorry op.

Lipz has it covered or it could be someone else's semen and or his own.

He's not going to tell you the truth. You gave him the opportunity when you first asked where his clothes were. tbh I'd try bluffing him. I'd tell him you know why he washed his clothes and then wait to see what he says. He doesn't know that you didn't check the clothes before he turned the washing machine on. And, to a certain extent, you do know why he washed his clothes. He did it to cover something up.

Everyone suggesting he shit himself how common is it to shit yourself when pissed

Any marks on him, OP? Whatever he was washing off, looks like it was from the outside... I'm thinking blood.

Check out his hands, face, neck for broken skin or bruising. Best case, he got in a punch up. Worst case, he's done serious harm to someone -raped someone or worse.

Have a sneaky peek into inside and outside bins and see if anything has been rammed down inside - potential weapon, other clothing etc.

If at any point he asks you to cover for him or starts saying he was actually home by 11pm and you were sound asleep, be alert.

Is he capable of being violent, especially when drunk? Check local news for police appeals for witnesses etc. Eyes and ears open, moth shut, I think. Your phone has evidence of your calls; don't leave it lying around. Put a password on it of you don't have one already.

Everyone always says, "Surely his wife must have known?!" Nup.

I hope it's nothing but a selfish night out. It's probably nothing. But it could be something.

I think the chance of a grown man pissing/shitting himself are somewhat less than the chance of a man cheating.

I agree with PP's I think he has cheated and is trying to wash the evidence. There would be evidence on his outer layers from being close to the other person and the layer closest to his body ie his boxers, but not on his shorts.

If he had put all of his clothes in the wash, I think I would have gone with the cheated theory. Is it possible he was still extremely pissed (pissed people do really odd and inexplicable things sometimes). Its just really odd he kept his shorts on.

Not excusing his behaviour, he is an arse to stay out over night when you sre so heavily pregnant.

Lap Dance? He came in his boxers and his shirt & trousers had makeup or stank of perfume. That might explain why his shorts were still clean and didn't stink. Tacky. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

I think you need to sit him down and explain how hiding things, even 'innocent things', which I don't think this was, can damage trust and break relationships. That it's always better to tell and talk about it. Put a particularly 'regretful' look on your face so he can see how he's damaged your relationship.

If he wet or shit himself the shorts would be destroyed too. It would have leaked through the material right through to the jeans.

If he vomited on himself, it would not have bypassed his shorts onto his boxers.

The OP could call his bluff like someone else mentioned and pretend that she came down and looked through the clothes before he came down and washed them, that could work.

It could all be totally innocent but I'm really trying hard here to think of something innocent that would make a man, come home from a late night of drinking and partying, take off his shoes and socks, take off his jeans, take off his t-shirt, take off his shorts, take off his boxers and then put back on his shorts.....

Yep sorry to say think he's cheated too. Hasn't wet or shit himself because he was wearing the shorts. You wouldn't wash your clothes right then if you had drink Down them. You say you don't mind smoking and he knows that. So again no need to wash clothes immediately. If he came into close contact with a women he would just wash him top and trousers but washing the boxers implies sex. He has his phone off and he was out all night. Have you two been having sex while pregnant? No excuse but he might have wanted sex. He still shouldn't cheat though if he did. I don't know how you will find out though unless he confesses. He also couldn't have been that drunk to wait until you were asleep to go turn the washing machine on. If he was that drunk he would have fallen asleep. Last thing on tour mind would be washing clothes after a night out.

If it’s blood a normal wash would probably set the stain as a yellow stain rather than remove it. You ideally need to soak blood with cold water before washing to remove it without trace the first time.

I think I would bluff and tell him that you know what went on last night, that you want the truth and if he doesn’t give you the truth then he might as well leave as you deserve better than a liar and gaslighter!

Let’s be honest here even I he just spil a drink down his top he’s not going to stick just his top in the washing machine, would make sense to stick the outfit in there and just keep something comfy to sleep in on.

Not saying it’s not suspicious but by god some peoples theories are extreme. (Like he battered or raped someone, jeez)
He’s either copped off with someone else or felt gross with a beer or spew on him.

Only on mumsnet would a man go on a night out and become a cocaine-addles rapist who shits his pants

Anyway...ridiculousness aside, it doesn’t sound good OP. I suspect makeup or perfume on his clothes sorry. I would call his bluff to and see what his reaction is