Is my DP hiding something

[theoverthinker]

I was unsure what topic to put this as but anyway.. I'll try to keep it short.
Am I being unreasonable to think something happened with DP last night?
So he went out last night with a big group of his mates. They all ended up back at one of his mates houses for drinks after and I spoke to him at 2am on the phone as he still wasn't home and he promised he wouldn't be back late. I messaged at about half 3 (he didn't read it) then tried ringing him at 6am (his phone was off) Roll on half 7 this morning and he finally strolls through the door.. I'm obviously really fuming as I'm very heavily pregnant and can't believe he would go out literally all night when I could pop at any time. When he came home I could hear him downstairs for a while and when he finally comes into the bedroom he's in just his boxers. I have a moan at him for being home so late and then ask him why he's taken his clothes off downstairs. He then claims he took them off in the bathroom (upstairs) and that they're on the landing so not to wake me up getting unchanged. So I'm thinking okay whatever.. 10 mins later I get up to go to the toilet and I realise his clothes arn't in the bathroom or the landing so I go downstairs and he then gets out of bed and follows me. I ask where his clothes are and he says they're in the washing machine?!?!! (Washing machine is not turned on) So at this point I'm confused as to why he'd lie and I question him about it because it's just an odd thing for him to do since I always seem to do the washing recently.. He says I'm being weird and that he can't be arsed to get his things out of the washing machine and that he doesn't understand why I'm questioning why he's stripped off as soon as he's got home and put his things in the machine.. so I take his word for it and think maybe I am being a bit paranoid.. So we go to bed and I fall asleep but I kept getting woken to the sound of him going in and out of the bedroom, going downstairs to make a drink, going the loo etc.. I've came downstairs at about half 11 this morning and he's still fast asleep because of his night out and I've just realised that whilst I was asleep he's put a wash on and washed his clothes from last night..
I literally have no idea why this is really bothering me because I just don't know what I'd expect to find on his clothes but it's just all very odd and like he's hiding something? Please tell me I'm being unreasonable and thinking too much into this because I just don't know what to think and I'm so confused! It's just the fact he's come home so late and he was still very drunk and extremely tired but his first thought was to hide his clothes in the machine and then put the wash on whilst I'm asleep and then creep up back to bed?

I don't think this is due to another woman at all x

Does no one wash clothes in your house that your both finding it suspicious that your putting your clothes in the wash after a night out? 😂😂

Blood, lipstick, perfume etc is what he was likely trying to get rid of. & if he's still got his shorts on he's not shat himself has he? Unless he didn't wear them when he went out, instead changed into them when he got home.

Mind you I had one ex who came home smelling of soap powder and naice conditioner then tried to deny he (more likely she) had washed and dried his clothes before he came back home after being out all night.

It takes all sorts.

Sorry OP, not nice especially at this time. I don't get why these men are so obvious when being shifty, yet think they're so clever.

I've just been asking my hubbie about it in and said it's probably vomit or he wet himself,and he said once he was so pissed he wet himself and he was single at the time but would have been mortified if he had to tell his other half...he also said he's done some really odd things when pissed and said he would have done the same thing as your other half and just washed the clothes,but he also said from a mans perspective he would have thought ergh my clothes stink I'm going to put them in the washing machine and I've come in so late I don't want to piss my wife off more,then he said the next day he's probably vaguely remembered a drama about the clothes and thought I'm just gonna wash them! He said men and women think totally differently

I asked my DP about it too, he says men do the weirdest things when drunk and he’s probably being honest. Says they do things they never do sober, like he folds everything after a nightout, dunno why he never does it any other time.

I'd be well chuffed if my Husband put a wash on when he got in from a night out. He usually just throws up everywhere and is annoying AF!

But he lied and said he'd got undressed upstairs.

But be lucky. I wish my DH put his clothes in the wash after a night out. I hate the smell of smoke and dry ale on his clothes and he has had wet trumps before an left them.
Hes a tramp, count yourself lucky he's a drunk cleaner lol x

Do grown adults shit themselves this often? 🤢

Something very similar to this happened with me and my DP. He had been out with a friend and came home and put his clothes on to wash and got in the shower. I woke up and asked why he had had a shower, he said he hadn't!!! I spent the night freaking out and after arguing with him the next morning he admitted that he had had sudden attack of d and v and had shit himself on his walk home

Does he normally put his clothes in a wash basket?

I thought he had his shorts on under his trousers so they would be wet if he'd wet himself.

The "nicest" explanation is that of massive faecal incontinence and not wanting help.

I am however "puzzled". You say "he doesn't smoke but I know when he drinks he does have the occasional fag" - so he most certainly does smoke and probably much more than you think you know!

@theoverthinker

@Wonderland18 totally agree. DP once went out with friends before living together and decided that 2AM after over 6 hours of drinking is the perfect time to do laundry. He managed put his mobile phone and passport into the wash along with it lol

Well it's a fine time to pull a stunt like this when you're about to go into labour, I'd be livid.

I’d sit down with him and be blunt. Say you know he is clearly hiding something, but do it really calmly

From your subsequent posts it's seems pretty innocent. Maybe he just felt a bit smokey or whatever from being at a mates house and put his stuff in the wash.. perhaps he was still a bit confused from drinking so didn't put his shorts in too.

If there's nothing on his phone, andhe still to have innocent explanations perhaps you're overthinking it.

I think its innocent.

If the wife of my accidental victim is reading this, I am very sorry, your husband was telling the truth!

About 15 years ago when I was 22, I went arse over tit in a crowded pub landing on the lap of a strange man. After standing up, the apology etc, his friend who he was drinking with looked alarmed. The man who I fell into sprang up and went to the bathroom to try and wash his shirt. My lipstick was all over it where I had face planted him!
I heard him say to his mate ''My wife is never going to believe this! I always wondered if things had kicked of at home! Pure accident.

The fact there is nothing on his phone wouldn't mean anything to me tbh. If he'd had a ONS or something I doubt there would be any evidence on his phone.

If he has his phobe backed up and youvdelete and reinstall whats app, any old deleted messages will reappear.
Just sayin'

Yes, he is likely hiding something. His ‘night out’ behavior changed, he failed to stay in touch, and he has lied to you.

If he had nothing to hide, why did he lie that he’d undressed in the upstairs bathroom and left the clothes on the landing? He followed you downstairs, and then was agitated when you were (understandably) baffled that his clothes were actually in the machine, when he had previously said otherwise.

It sounds like he was trying to make you shut up and back off, which you did. You felt ‘a bit paranoid,’ so you didn’t examine the clothes. He washed them while you slept, and then told another lie about the machine starting automatically when the door closed. The clean phone means nothing.

The exact same thing happened to me when pregnant, I woke up to DH being in the shower at 4am. He would never normally do that, the washing machine was going as well.

He had an upset stomach, tried to make it home walking and didn't make it. I thought he'd been in a fight (don't ask why as he never fights!) but he hadn't.

He was so embarrassed and the truth was not as bad as my imagination!

Remember that most people’s interpretations are due to past experiences (mine included) which can shape their conclusions- I think you either need to give the benefit of the doubt as there are so so many reasons what it could be...along with it being nothing at all ..or say that you are feeling extremely anxious about it and see if he offers something up ❤️

@theoverthinker

FWIW I think his reaction, coupled with the fact you found nothing on his phone, seems reassuring.

Sorry but I’m thinking evidence of sex or drugs.