To wonder when family holidays will stop being shit?

[AllesAusLiebe]

A little context. . . Currently in Mallorca with DH, DS (1) and my parents. DS has been a nightmare since the wheels of the plane touched the tarmac. Hasn't stopped crying, complaining, whining etc and nothing we do seems to make any difference.

He's very overtired since he refuses to sleep in the buggy for longer than about 20 minutes. Our evenings are spent sitting on the balcony (that's fine - I anticipated this) but only after a 40 minute to 1 hour battle to get him to sleep.

Mealtimes are horrible and my parents are completely bewildered as to why their grandson refuses to sit and eat with us as a family. I think they probably blame me, but at home I'm very strict with sitting down to eat as a family and he does this successfully 90% of the time. Here, it's a different story and every single time either DH or I have to remove DS from the restaurant then swap over like a tag team.

So, how many years have I got before it gets better? Does anyone actually enjoy holidays with small children, or am I a complete anomaly?!

We just came back from a holiday with our 1yo and it was great. Everything depends on the baby I think. My DD loves napping in the pram and can do so even when it's very noisy around (like on the stadium). And if she naps enough during the day we can eat out late all together. As long as restaurant has something she will definitely eat (like sweetcorn or pasta) we are fine. She also loves it when there are lots of people around and new things to see. The only thing we change is that we let her share the bed on holiday, she doesn't like travel cots.
I realise that most babies are not like this but that's exactly my point. You need to do what works for your baby and change things to see what works. If nothing does then fair enough, better wait for a couple of years...

We still stick to the UK and my kids are aged 9-16! We’ve never done a holiday abroad (except EuroDisney) and I think I’ve enjoyed every holiday we’ve been on - bar one awful Legoland trip - but perhaps it’s rose tinted specs n all that. I love holidays with my gang

@FrauHaribo well obviously I wasn't talking about 1-2 year olds.

Also if you do a villa with your parents you’ll find they’ll share the load a little.

Ha, I think that depends on the parent. MIL is in her 80s and frankly amazing for her age (I want to be like her when I'm old) but gets tired doing a full on sightseeing holiday that my kids need these days. But she's really good at chilled out days at home doing some arty activity or cooking so either DH visits her with the kids or she comes to us and we space out the days out. Conversely my Mum is 10 years younger and is happy with full on sightseeing but actually spends very little time doing stuff with the DC (and can be disapproving) so doesn't actually help much and can make things worse.

we took dc1 abroad when he was 22 months and it was pretty hard work to be honest. So we did holidays in the UK until this summer. We now have 2 dc and they are almost 7 and almost 4. We went all inclusive so no looking for restaurants/waiting ages for food etc and it was absolutely fantastic. We all had the best time and the kids keep saying how much they enjoyed it. I think what you’re experiencing is pretty normal when abroad with a 1 year old. As others have said 3.5 is about when it gets easier.

Took my twins to NW Spain for a fortnight when they were 12 months and had a brilliant time; the girls were exactly as they would have been at home. Can't wait for next year's trip!

Am I the only one who thinks going on holiday with parents or in-laws is my idea of hell?

I do really like my in-laws and my mum but I cannot even stay with them for a couple of days before I go mad from biting my tongue or being fed up with always the one making arrangements and planning what to do.

Going for a week away would mean I kill someone, maybe even me.

Thanks so much for the replies everyone. I think DH and I are a little too scarred from this experience to consider another foreign holiday for a couple of years, so if the consensus of 3.5 years applies to us, that'll work perfectly!

Parents are with us simply because I'm from overseas and the alternative would have been for all of us to stay in a cramped apartment back home which I really wouldn't want.

They've been a great help, but culturally I guess we do things differently.

Oh and I really hope that there's no misunderstanding. We expected that this holiday would be very different. I think that the issue is that whenever we try and do something as a family, it seems to cause DS even more stress.

I think his teeth are causing a problem, but everything is a problem for him at the moment.

We've enjoyed our holidays so far with DD (15 months). We've always booked apartments/houses so we have a kitchen and lounge area to go to when she's sleeping, and we tend to have the evening meal there (self catering or a takeaway) rather than try to take her out after her bedtime. We stick to the same bedtime/nap/eating routines as at home. We're lucky in that we can go out for brunch/lunch with her and she's happy to sit in a high chair and eat with us (and eat some of the local food, although we still bring some home-cooked food for her in case it's not suitable).

Some of our holidays have been city breaks and they've gone really well (we live in London so we're used to spending time most of our at museums, galleries, using public transport etc). Lots of museums and galleries are baby/toddler-friendly and she's always enjoyed them. I do my research to find events and attractions that particularly appeal to DD, so I wouldn't take her to a museum where she would just be expected to sit quietly in her pushchair. She's never had problems sleeping in different travel cots or getting to sleep in different places. Loves sand and water play so has had a lot of fun on the beach, and has been swimming from a young age so is comfortable in the pool.

Even before having a baby, we never did the kind of holiday where we just lie by the pool and read, we used to do lots of sightseeing or hiking instead. So it wasn't quite a contrast from having lazy relaxing holidays, but switching from one kind of active, hard work holiday to another, which probably made the transition easier for us.

I think from 5/6 plus they are really fun but you still need to make them child friendly. I like either self catering cottages in beautiful natural, destinations or self catering in the sun with a kids club! Anything in between (city break in a hotel) etc is do able but not nearly as relaxing. We adjust and all stay up late and sleep in. Much easier than battling to get to bed.

Am I the only one who thinks going on holiday with parents or in-laws is my idea of hell?

It depends on the people and accommodation. I find going somewhere neutral where no-one is the host is better than being either the host or the guest when holidaying with DM. With MIL she's a very easy guest so happy to have her here.

I wouldn't bother going away at all with them when they're that age, because they are just a pain in the arse.
wait till they are 4 or older.

I’ve had some lovely holidays with my parents, even pre-kids, and now I have lost my Dad I am really glad I have those memories (and photos) to look back on. We are taking my mum on holiday next year as she wouldn’t otherwise have anyone to go with, but also because I enjoy her company (even if she does drive me up the wall sometimes )