To wonder when family holidays will stop being shit?

[AllesAusLiebe]

A little context. . . Currently in Mallorca with DH, DS (1) and my parents. DS has been a nightmare since the wheels of the plane touched the tarmac. Hasn't stopped crying, complaining, whining etc and nothing we do seems to make any difference.

He's very overtired since he refuses to sleep in the buggy for longer than about 20 minutes. Our evenings are spent sitting on the balcony (that's fine - I anticipated this) but only after a 40 minute to 1 hour battle to get him to sleep.

Mealtimes are horrible and my parents are completely bewildered as to why their grandson refuses to sit and eat with us as a family. I think they probably blame me, but at home I'm very strict with sitting down to eat as a family and he does this successfully 90% of the time. Here, it's a different story and every single time either DH or I have to remove DS from the restaurant then swap over like a tag team.

So, how many years have I got before it gets better? Does anyone actually enjoy holidays with small children, or am I a complete anomaly?!

My boy was always a sweetie on holidays as he's very easy going. But quite honestly I think these types of holidays are really too much for young children. They don't enjoy them, it's too hot and too far from home.

From 2 for us. He wasn't actually terrible at 1, other than evening meals which were a PIA. Although he was always good at napping in a pushchair. I think cos we didn't have a car when he was little.

OMG I feel your pain - I wasted so much money and annual leave on shit holidays. DD is nearly three and I'm not doing another one abroad until she's 5...maybe 6!

We did have a golden decade between ages 5 and 15. Then they started being rooted to their rooms, no matter wherever we are in the world - staring at iPads and over order alcoholic drinks. So it was nice then went shit again. Sorry!

Ime it was easier when they were younger. But we are fairly easy going. Tire them out in pool, Let them have late naps then stay up later and then later dinners before a long walk and then night time sleep and relax for adults in the nearest taverna- with ear defenders and black out buggy cover.

My youngest is 7, I think the first proper holiday we had was 2 years ago. It's totally shit with babies, don't even bother.

When they’re 18.

Never had a shit family holiday, we started when they were 6 and 3, so I guess from age 3! No more buggy, nappies, naps etc, can break away from the routine with out all hell breaking loose.

It's shit until it gets better when they're in the 9-12 sort of age, and then you hit teenage strops and nothing's ever right and they bicker and long car journeys make you seriously consider opening the car door on the motorway and leaping out. Then it gets better again when they're around 16.

Just went on holiday with 5 and 9yo and it was toooooo long. Fighting, 5yo crying, constantly asking for screens, watching 5yo like a hawk in the pool, fed up of their company between 7am and late (meals out, no fun, but its that or shop and cook which i CBA). So dunno maybe when they are 9 and 12?

Mine are 4 and 5, and we don't do fancy holidays these days. Couple of weeks in Devon (or similar) in a carvan are winner - chick them in the car, pool, play park, variety of child oriented entertainment/activity, wine...everyone is happy!

Look forward to flying and exotic places when they're older, but it's just easier not to just now.

Had one holiday at 1 that was hard work. The next year was fab and genuinely enjoyable. So hopefully you won’t have too long to wait. However, we were much more child centred second time round and basically spent time in the pool or pottering. We didn’t relax routine at all and it worked better for us.

0-5: bucket, spade, rockpools, self catering, Cornwall, Norfolk, etc.

5-15 France as a whole family. From when DS was 10ish he and his pa went sk-ing in Feb and dd and I found some sun. This still happens and they are 24 and 21.

We are just back from a family holiday in France and their friends dropped by. The DC also graced me with their presence in Greece for a week.

Hols with grandparents ceased before dd was born. I really can't be arsed to share why.

Holidays are about going with the flow. If the dc are happy so will you be.

If he's really being a cryie nightmare op at one it cd be teeth or even his ears. Flying can play havoc with a sensitive baby ear

Don't go abroad is my tip. Then you can keep things as familiar as possible.

I think it's much easier to take toddlers on uk breaks. We were away with our one year old last year to Portugal. The holiday was nice but the worst part was the airport all of that waiting around, going through security, boarding the plane, then the flight too! It's an awful lot of a young child to take in!

Plus eating at any decent restaurant whilst away was hard most only had the high chairs that attach to the tables and my DS was having none of that!

It’s probably the worst age, every year from now gets better as they are more bribable! Calpol, iPad, blanket, pushchair.
Oh and wine (for you) lots and lots of wine.

3.5 is spot on.

We didn't go abroad much until DD2 was 3.5 as I didn't want to spend thousands on a holiday she could ruin.

Cottages worked much better than hotels in the early years as mealtimes are painful - trying to work out when to go, what they might eat and entertaining them until food arrives. We have always picked places with pools as my kids have been keen on swimming from really young.

We then graduated to center parcs, including abroad at 3.5.

At 4 we went to the canaries all inclusive and it was brilliant. AI means you don't have to wait for food and there is always something my picky eaters will eat. It was brilliant and I feel like we've cracked it.

I wouldn't ever go on holiday with family/friends. The closest we've come to is staying separately nearby.

I'm not so sure about things getting better at 3.5. Did ferry/ camping in France with the DC this year; 9 year old DS1 was great- he just formed a pack with the other kids on the campsite, and the only worry was making sure they didn't use the free kayaks without a parent down by the river to keep half an eye on them.

DS2, at 4 years and 3 months, mutated into a feral little sod for most of the holiday. A great deal of stropping, running off, and "I've had ENOUGH of you, Mummy!", but was just that bit too young to actually allow to go off on his own. This culminated with him running off and disappearing on the cross channel ferry, and it taking me 45 minutes to find him.

This was a ferry crossing that took 3 hours longer than normal, spending that time dicking around off Plymouth waiting for the dock to be free, and if anybody else was on that crossing, no, I'm not normally that much of a bitch, wasn't it great none of us actually killed one another, and I'm sure the psychological scarring will heal eventually

1 is the worst age. We have travelled with our kids from birth - always long haul, we live in NZ, everything is long haul - and 1 is harder than 3 months, and by 2 it is easier.

Self catering is the way to go. Our fav destination is the Italian seaside where we can spend a relaxed day at the beach but still have a great lunch at a beach club, then we head home and make the kids spaghetti in the Airbnb kitchen or get a take away pizza.

We never ever go out in the evening! Too hard. We always rent places with terraces so we can put the kids to bed and have a few drinks.

He is 1. He isn’t a “nightmare”. He isn’t “whining”. He is distressed. He is a confused little boy who has absolutely no idea why everything is suddenly so different and his usual routine is totally disrupted. He didn’t ask to be taken on holiday. The only thing you have to manage is your own, and your family’s, expectations.

Your parents’ confusion that their 1 year old grandchild won’t have a nice civilised dinner with them is bonkers.

The worst break we have ever had was a recent long weekend away at a family holiday house a 3 hour drive away with GPS. Never again. I’d rather get in a 24 hour flight to Italy. You have to pack the same amount!

Never contemplated going abroad until the youngest was 3. It was great from then on. But stick to immediate family, never with parents. Do you holiday with DH parents too?

Impressed with getting them to sleep in 40 mins to an hour, at least that part is going well (by our standards).

We never noticed much of an issue at 1, but we pretty much always self catered in a gite / house, and only rarely an occasional night in a hotel.

We also often ended up taking it ony turns at restaurants since the smallest wouldn't stay put. Lucky one of us is a fast eater and then swaps. Not relaxing, but it gets easier as they get older.

Alright @Jillyhilly , can a mother not let off a bit of steam about her own child on Mumsnet??

We took DS (2) to Devon a couple of weeks ago and it was just about OK. Eating out was really annoying as wait times were slow and so we felt like "that family" putting Peppa Pig on our phones for him to keep him amused.

@AllesAusLiebe Our last Christmas was like that last year too when DS was one. He hated how different everything was and was just grumpy all day. I meanwhile, cried (irrationally) over how hard I had tried to make a nice Christmas and he didn't even like it . I comforted myself that he must just love his everyday life better than Christmas!

We’re currently on holiday in Majorca too, staying in an All Inclusive hotel in Sa Coma with our 1 year old.
Our days go like this:
Wake up, breakfast, back to the room to get sorted to go down by the pool, go down to the pool and take baby for a walk to get her to sleep, sunbathe until she wakes up, lunch, play with baby in the pool, up to the room to get ready and let baby nap, dinner, sit by the hotel bar and play with baby / let her walk around etc, walk to get her to sleep, then we either have a drink at the bar or go to bed 😂