To wonder when family holidays will stop being shit?

[AllesAusLiebe]

A little context. . . Currently in Mallorca with DH, DS (1) and my parents. DS has been a nightmare since the wheels of the plane touched the tarmac. Hasn't stopped crying, complaining, whining etc and nothing we do seems to make any difference.

He's very overtired since he refuses to sleep in the buggy for longer than about 20 minutes. Our evenings are spent sitting on the balcony (that's fine - I anticipated this) but only after a 40 minute to 1 hour battle to get him to sleep.

Mealtimes are horrible and my parents are completely bewildered as to why their grandson refuses to sit and eat with us as a family. I think they probably blame me, but at home I'm very strict with sitting down to eat as a family and he does this successfully 90% of the time. Here, it's a different story and every single time either DH or I have to remove DS from the restaurant then swap over like a tag team.

So, how many years have I got before it gets better? Does anyone actually enjoy holidays with small children, or am I a complete anomaly?!

Our first holiday abroad was like this. I hated it. Went again when 3.5 and was better but nighttimes still awful. Haven't been again since and he turns 7 next month. We have booked for next summer when they are almost 8 and 5.

I would say when fully potty trained and not likely to have a melt down any more and argue with everything.... 4 or 5?

Depends on the kid, mine were fine but we traveled a lot (just one or two nights but they were used to "keycards" as my dd called them from young. We also ate out a fair amount (I'm the queen of coupons and did mystery shopping for restaurants) so they knew how to act, at home I was super strict, so much so my dd now grown moans if my phone is near the table, meal times are sacred but with little ones it has to be consistent.

Party depends where you go and what you expect to be doing.

Beach holiday with nice restaurants with a preschooler absolutely not. Not enjoyable IME. Go somewhere kid focused with lots to do and not so much sitting around.. easier.
Took my 3 and 4 year old to Florida Disney and it was a brilliant holiday. I'd never been before (or wanted to go) but I do now understand why people go there. It's SO much easier to have constant entertainment and everything kitted out for kids. We recently went on a beach holiday, while it was ok it wasn't very relaxing, just a bit of a drag.

Another vote for self catering in a villa with a pool. We did that with DC1 and my parents for a few holidays. We’d have cold meats and cheese and local bread and salad at lunch (unless we grabbed something whilst out) and then a barbecue in the evening (which DH would do). We’d feed DC1 first and then they would either just stay up with us in the evening or sleep. No tantrums, no other people to worry about and no shift system required for eating.

I think it depends on the child really. We've just been on a two week holiday with our 1 year old, one week city break and one week beach and pool. She's been a dream, had a few moments and done a lot of shouting in restaurants but absolutely brilliant other than that. There is another family here with a similar aged child and he cries at every little thing and just seems to hate it all. Their holiday looks bloody miserable.

It depends a lot on the child and the environment.
Dc1 I could have taken him anywhere and have no issue at all. Dc2 was much more sensitive and yes there was a lot we couldn’t do until he was about 3yo.

I think restaurants don’t work well, esp if they end up eating late. And I’ve always been careful to keep our routine to be sure they slept enough. There is nothing worse than a child at that age that is tired!
Or hungry as was the case with Dc1.

Mine are 4 and 7. I think I can honestly say this is the first year I have really enjoyed a holiday with both of them. Up until now, it has been the same shit but in a different place, that is usually harder to childproof!

He needs a routine and a solid nap in his travel cot. Just worn around it. Buggy maps aren't working for him.

I also agree with 3.5 onward

Holiday all bets are off.

Do what you like to make it easy! If that’s a tablet at dinner so he will seat and you can enjoy a glass of wine just do it. You don’t know these people so who gives a shit.

Just do what you need to survive. And relax. He will too if you do (that is meant in a totally no judgey way) xx

Yes. He's 1. I'm afraid it depends on the child. Our holidays are only intermittently enjoyable and that's doing mostly child centred things. Our DD's 6.

For us 'hot' holidays and hotel holidays were a no no until youngest DC were about 6 or 7. That's when we went to the in-laws in Spain. We tried and it was awful.

UK cottage and camping hols were a hit in Northumberland, Isle of Mull, Cornwall etc. Not too hot, jumping in waves, damp sand that you could build things with (not rubbish silky sand) rockpooling, crabbing... British food and NHS doctors!

Just a thought ..is he poorly? in pain ? teething? earache? headache? Might be worth getting him checked out I would.

When they can swim on their own while you sit by the pool (and you don't have to worry about them drowning)- so that depends on the kid but for mine, about 5-6 (wearing a floaty lifejacket type thing)

Before that, lots of fun times on holidays enjoying the beach/ sightst etc as a family but definitely not relaxing!

I agree with a PP, forgo holidays abroad for a few years and maybe opt for breaks within a few hours drive. I skipped about 3 years of 2 week holidays due to the disruption it used to cause.

It's hard work when they are little. Hotels and beaches don't really work. It helps when they can all swim! Youngest is six now and holidays are a joy!

We took DD1 on some bonkers adventures abroad (Europe, Asia, Central America etc) when she was small - she was easy to take anywhere and we had a great time.

Then DD2 came along and we flew to Spain and it felt like long haul (DD2 is a rather tricky character)

And now we can't afford anything other than camping trips and long weekends in Airbnb rentals

We've been away 3 times this year with our 1 year old. It's brilliant! We self cater so he can go to bed at a decent hour and we drink wine and watch tv. Exploring playgrounds, looking at boats and trucks, doing drawing in art galleries, lots of long walks, running around with other kids. Perfect. Can't wait to go again.

I'm a SAHP so having an extra pair of hands in the shape of DH makes it feel much easier than day to day life!

I'd say from 2 onwards. Age 1 - 2 is absolutely the worst age because they are old enough to be unsettled but not old enough to understand the concept of a holiday. Think of it from your ds' point of view. He's been taken away from his home and familiar surroundings and, as far as he understands , he will never see them again.

Really depends what you expected.

Holidays are and have always been my favourite time ever, with baby, toddler or young child onwards.

Recreating an adult holiday won't work with most kids. Planning a holiday around the kid you know will. More adults to take care of them, all new, all interesting you are never bored and at a loss about what to do, no routine and rushing everywhere, if they sleep later, who cares. At worst, they can sleep in your bed if that helps them settle. Leisurely food, holidays are bliss.

To eat out, plan to be quick-ish, kids do get bored sitting around a table and there's so much entertaining that is fun.
Getting food from a deli, or cooking yourself at (holiday) home means you can drink, your child can play or watch a cartoon, you relax, it's the perfect way to spend an evening if yours doesn't fall asleep nicely in their buggy.

Happy kids on holiday make happy parents. I love mine, but I plan them VERY carefully to ensure we all enjoy them.

Well if he’s only 1 I can understand this behaviour. Everything is different for him so he doesn’t know what to expect and so on. Too young to properly join in in a sit down meal. Just relax and simply don’t have a rigid schedule.he’ll eat something when he’s hungry and sleep when he’s tired enough. Don’t let it restrict your holiday but all of you need to entertain him by taking turns. We’ve been taking DC on holidays everywhere from 6 months onwards. DD would only consume French fries, bread, ice cream water and juice absolutely refusing everything else even if it would have been a favourite meal or fruit/vegetable until she was about 6-7 every single time we were away from home. But she was happy and had a normal diet at home. Sleep patterns went out of the window because she had to fit in with everything else but she got enough sleep and was a perfect sleeper at home. Just embrace the experience, relax and don’t insist on anything, go with the flow and get the others to spend time with DS for a bit of variety. Enjoy your holiday!

We always went self catering to a villa/apartment abroad, which was great because we could look after ourselves if the children were tired. We were once given a week in a five star hotel in Cyprus, that was hell I ended up storing yoghurts and fruit in the mini bar fridge.

When self catering it was an early swim session if needed, then out for a sight seeing trip, lunch then siesta. The siesta time until 4pm ish worked for us, then swim/play and dinner. Sometimes we would eat out other times we would eat in. I used to buy a paddling pool to put on the verandah for them to splash in.

Your little guy may well be teething, so would be just as ratty at home.
We did not try to eat in nice restaurants in the evening if they were tired.

We have great time with 18m old we mainly went for older kids as stayed in UK previous year - we did it all around baby - Hubble would take older ones to breakfast and bring banana and yoghurt back for little one then I would go have lush breakfast alone - morning swimming - finger food lunch as family so little one could take ages self feeding - sleep for everyone then at evening meal big pile of pasta that again could self feed - evening entertainment we all tag team supervising little one and let him stay up till worn out then bed together - this year stayed in UK as would be too willfull to manage at pools - at 3,5y next summer will hopefully be enjoying somewhere warm - try and make the most of time you have left - if the little one happy makes it easier x

We went away when DS was 2. We couldn’t get him to sleep at night easily, he wouldn’t nap in the day in the pram/buggy, he refused to sit in buggy but was crabby as over tired. We said never again!

But some good friends with a similar age DD suggested sharing a house in northern Spain a year later. It was great! DS didn’t need naps any more so that wasn’t an issue, there was no time difference, he had a friend to play with, our friends were great and we were all on the same page due to the similar ages of the kids.

We think we might be brave enough to go it alone next time!