To wonder when family holidays will stop being shit?

[AllesAusLiebe]

A little context. . . Currently in Mallorca with DH, DS (1) and my parents. DS has been a nightmare since the wheels of the plane touched the tarmac. Hasn't stopped crying, complaining, whining etc and nothing we do seems to make any difference.

He's very overtired since he refuses to sleep in the buggy for longer than about 20 minutes. Our evenings are spent sitting on the balcony (that's fine - I anticipated this) but only after a 40 minute to 1 hour battle to get him to sleep.

Mealtimes are horrible and my parents are completely bewildered as to why their grandson refuses to sit and eat with us as a family. I think they probably blame me, but at home I'm very strict with sitting down to eat as a family and he does this successfully 90% of the time. Here, it's a different story and every single time either DH or I have to remove DS from the restaurant then swap over like a tag team.

So, how many years have I got before it gets better? Does anyone actually enjoy holidays with small children, or am I a complete anomaly?!

Mine were 5 and 8 before I enjoyed holidaying with them but even then the youngest was still prone to moaning a lot on holiday. He's 18 now and still prefers to be at home.

As Sallycinnamon mentioned, are you sure that the plane journey and change in air pressure didn't cause an ear infection?

We had a holiday in Majorca when DS2 was 8 months old. Unfortunately he lost his favourite bunny, that he slept with, when we were walking around a harbour after a very early supper. I was the mad woman that returned that night in the dark desperately trying to find it! He was absolute hell for the rest of the holiday! Even DS1's very kind offer to lend him his cuddly toy (aw!) was not good enough.

I think 3 is about right as people have said, out of the baby /toddler years.

Just about have #3 so will have 3 under 5,after this summers holiday feeling like more hassle than worth neither of us have any appetite to go abroad next year so will stick with the UK and go somewhere that is set up for children.

Totally get it OP, we went on our first holiday when DD was 1 & it was bollocks. She whinged & cried & wouldn't sleep in the buggy, we spent hours walking her round & round so we could just stay past 8pm & enjoy our hols, but nope! She hated the swimming pool, or anything other than playing with her toys inside tbh! She’s 2 now though & although we haven’t been away this year due to baby no2s arrival I have a feeling she’d be so much more enjoyable & enjoy it herself! So yeah I agree 1 is a crap age, oh & don’t feel like a bad mum (by your mums judgements) 1 year olds write their own rules!!

Everything is new and different and exciting and he doesnt want to sleep he wants to explore.

I have taken my 2 away from the age of 5 months and 7 months and for both I found the 10-20 month period by far the worst! When they wanted to do stuff they physically were not capable of!

Adapt around I remember a holiday with DD at 17 months with my parents where we ate in the half board restaurant in shifts (they would go down we would join and overlap and then they would leave with DD)

I wouldn’t take a baby or tiny child abroad. It would be no fun at all. Just same shit different location.

It’ll get better, probably around 4 or 5.

We had a fantastic euro camp break at 3.5 so I agree with that. It was one of the nicest holidays we have ever had.

We have done a UK or France (on ferry) beach cottage holiday or camping pretty much every year since having DC.

The only thing I would do differently is go on a caravan site (with pools etc) more times than I have done as kids love it. Next year, that’s what I am doing.

Bloody hell, what did you expect ? He is only a year old, you have no idea if the cabin pressure hurt his ears. People want to change their life by having a baby then seem bloody shocked when every aspect of their lives change !

We went to Corfu at the end of last month with ds 13, dd 11 and dd 16mths. Tbh apart from the plane (which the baby hated) I found the older 2 harder work. Constantly bickering and demanding stuff which requires money being spent. Ok the baby is toddling and sometimes was hard work in restaurants wanting to get down, but I kind of expected that. She doesn't winge all the time as long as she's got a drink/snack/ is entertained and will sleep in the buggy. I think what a pp has suggested, a villa self catering would be easier next time. I thought our apartment was self catering but as we were having B and B it wasn't. The hotel didn't serve evening meals but all the restaurants and bars were about a mile away. Not a problem if on your own or in a couple but was a pain with the kids because we had to herd them all up to get to the town for our evening meal. If we had self catering I could've just rustled something up as soon as they decided they were hungry! All children are different and it was probably something to do with the age gaps we have.

About another couple of years. I'd agree 1 is just about the worst age, they won't sit still and you just end up following them round while they walk everywhere. I say everywhere, but what I mean is everywhere except anywhere interesting.

It's hard OP, I hear you. Ours are 4 & 9 now and it's fine, but when they were little we found self catering easier. We would get an air bnb, meaning we had a kitchen, and a separate bedroom for the kids. They could eat at their usual time and go to bed just like at home. That helped a lot.

Was going to say, the good thing about our apartments was, it was small and friendly and there were lots of families there. It had a pool and a baby pool so it kept the kids entertained when we were there. But my older 2 are old enough to get themselves changed and go to and from the apartment (which was a very short distance) by themselves. It was quiter being a way from the main strip, it was just the food situation that made it harder work.

OP, haven’t even tried to holiday with DS yet and he is nearly two! Mainly because I didn’t think we would enjoy it yet! Glad to see people’s opinions of 3.5 being a good age... only 18 months to go

Staying in a hotel is the mistake you have made. When ours were little we stayed in some lovely gite complexes in Charente in France. All set up for families with young children so there were other kids to play with, either with toys in the garden or in the pool. You can keep a routine if that's what your children need, buy nice easy to prepare french food, salads and bbq, kids go to bed and you relax with a bottle of wine and chat to other parents.

And the kids can have their own rooms, sharing a hotel room sounds like a fucking nightmare to me.

We've holidayed with our two since they were wee and you just have to expect that they will be out of sorts. Lower your expectations of them and what you do and you'll enjoy yourself much more.

And (sorry) that part of France isn't too hot.

We've not been abroad with ours yet, but this year, (Barring a minor head injury and 8 hours in hospital before we'd even checked in!) was the first year we'd really felt we could relax. Ds ages 7 and 3.5.

They played. I felt they wouldn't drown instantly if my hand wasn't on them 100% at the pool. They stayed up later but no one threw tantrums or was vile the next day. We ate in restaurants. We stayed up drinking wine once they'd gone to bed because we knew we wouldn't be woken up during the night.

I felt like some degree of normality was returning to our lives

But aside from checking out a niggling illness, holidays are a time to let go of the routine. I came back from a solo trip to the beach to find my DH feeding our 9 month PFB chocolate ice cream and nectarines.
Nothing bad happened.
She’s one of the most wonderful women you could ever meet.

Mine are young teens now.
When they were tiny we did static caravan holidays in the UK and one Euro camp. The best ones were Swanage, Dorset. Lots to see and do.
I still think it got easier at 2.5 ish, maybe 3.
We left abroad holidays until 2 and 4 years old. Tried a small villa with private pool and that was ok but me and then DH watching DVDs at night seemed just like being at home.
Then at 4 and 6 we booked a family hotlw in Puerto Pollensa and it was honestly fab by then. It will get easier ... just not yet x

Rather than one of you removing him from the restaurant, could either you or your husband stay in with him instead, in turns, so that it's quiet? Then three of you will have a good time rather than everyone getting stressed.

We had the most amazing holiday in Ibiza when DD was 6 months old; all inclusive hotel, right on the beach, 3 big swimming pools. She was a delight.

Fast forward a year...we went to France in May as have family there and came home utterly exhausted. She was just so out of routine and difficult to sit at mealtimes (think huge family meals round long tables that go on for hours.) The end of the trip was just us 3 but even that bit was so tiring, we ended up all napping when she napped because we were so drained!

Sympathies, OP. We’ve booked Zante for the end of this month and I am hoping she will be a bit easier as we are going with family who have a toddler similar age and it will be more relaxed than the French trip. No idea how she will be on the flight though!

Hope your trip improves. Could you take advantage of your parents being there and you and DH pop out for dinner for a few hours so you have a tiny bit of a break? I remember DH and I getting home in May and just saying to one another “that didn’t feel like a holiday!” 🙈

I had one perfect summer last year at 6 and 8. This year they were moany again.

Definitely from 3 I found hols easy and really enjoyable. There is hope.