Is it a class thing?

[Pollypenguin01]

I don’t really want to go into the why’s of this question as it’s pretty outing but I’m looking for a average opinion.

Would you ever take a ‘gift’ for the kitchen staff at a restaurant?
Has this always been a thing to do?
Do you have to be of a certain class and in a certain class of establishment for this to be the norm?
If you happen to be a Chef/waiting staff/restaurant owner/etc would you think it very strange for a customer to bring a gift for the chef and cooking staff?

The example of gifts would be, a pack of beer, some mini cakes or doughnuts, some other appropriate food or drink multi pack.

YANBU = God no, I have never heard of this!
YABU = you’re clearly some sort of cretin that doesn’t know how to behave in civilised society!

Please feel free to explain your vote!

It is so bizarre I keep wondering if it’s not some April Fools wind up.
Even thought I know it is Friday the 13th instead.

Ha Ha ! Somersetlady that is brilliant!

I've never heard of this, anywhere from someone of any class! Maybe they're winding you up?

'their kitchen staff' WTF!
What a total and utter wanker.

Please send the reply posted by Somersetlady.

I voted YABU. I didn't mean to. My child surprised me and my finger slipped.

I think it is weird. YANBU whatever my vote says.

I'd send them a Facebook message saying "I think someone had your phone and is playing a practical joke sending crazy messages about those donuts you took to the restaurant/ who did you tell about them? Someone is trying to make you out to be absolutely mental! See you soon x"

When I was a waitress in a chinese restaurant I had a regular couple who owned a pig farm who would sometimes bring my boss a box full of trotters...so from my experience pig bits for the chef- totally normal, anything else, weird.

No, this is not a class thing.

It's like giving the hairdresser a hot dog as a thank you, or handing burger to the dentist.

Err no - its like giving shampoo and toothpaste respectively (bought in Poundland rather than the more expensive ones they have in the salon.

I think that you need to "educate" your friends that if they wanted to spend £12 on treating the staff they would have been better off sending in a £12 tip for the exclusive use of the kitchen. They could then spend it on what they chose - which is unlikely to be doughnuts or a six pack- I have occasionally sent in some cash to the chef to "buy himself a drink" but I would think it quite disrespectful to send them in food or drink which is likely to of a lesser quality than what they are preparing for me.

What? Never!

You tip service at the end, you may compliment the chef at any point.

I've waitressed in a restaurant where all tips were split equally, including with all kitchen staff but I don't think that's usual.

That message is unbelievable - 'let us educate you' whaaat?!!!

The link is to something very American - totally different service and tipping culture.

If I was a regular long-term customer and the staff always bent over backwards to look after me, then I might.

Otherwise no.

I’ve never heard of this.
Probably the closest thing I’ve ever seen was when I worked in a “naice” hotel (think wedding venue, posh restaurant etc), and a man with some pretty specific dietary needs really appreciated our head chef going way above and beyond what he needed to do to make sure this man enjoyed his food safely. So when I cleared their table at the end of the meal, he asked me to add a glass of our most expensive brandy to the bill and give it to the chef as a thank you.

He left me a nice tip too

I can imagine someone offering to buy the chef a drink via their bill. In a 'and one for yourself' sort of way.

Shark jumped.

Tell them it is definitely not a normal custom in the UK, you have never come across it before and you had no idea they were going to do it, or indeed that they would ask you for money to pay a share.

In any case, surely they would have bought the same quantity and spent the same amount if just the two of them were dining, so why should you have to pay as well?

And buying them food? Talk about sending coals to Newcastle!

Some of my relatives do take small food gifts for the kitchen staff of their local favourite pub/restaurant. They are regular customers and are friendly with the staff. They once gave baby gifts for an expecting mother.

It does seem a bit 'lord of the manor' of them but they would never expect others to contribute as the gift is from them alone. They are quite old school.

We understand it might not be something you do as a rule but let us educate you in the correct etiquette for dining in a slightly better class restaurant thanthe ones you may be used to'

This is utter bollocks, and vulgar.

Donuts? to a "slightly better class" restaurant? The guy's an idiot and probably a lower middle class snob.

If I knew the chef, or owned the restaurant I might take the staff a gift - but not crappy doughnuts. Proper wine or a bottle of whisky. Otherwise, you tip. And if you are at a "slightly better" restaurant, that tip should be around 15 - 20%

Not heard of this but I recently stayed in a hotel overseas, I had spoken to the housekeeping staff about my allergies. They were fab and I did take a box of English chocolate to leave for the maid along with her tip.

Simple really; I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who started a sentence with ‘let us educate you’ because it makes them a pompous; patronising twat.

As for taking (food!) gifts to kitchen staff, probably on minimum wage but in a job where food is the only thing you don’t have to buy, utterly batshit and definitely not a ‘thing’:

The grasping text alone is incredibly rude, I’d tell them to fuck off to the far end of fuck and then fuck off a bit more personally. As for ‘clearing’ a £3 debt, why ASAP if they can afford to go out to nice restaurants. Weirdos. Etiquette my arse, first rule of having class is to not discuss money with friends, let alone ask for it like that!

I have worked in very high restaurants and also have upper middle class friends.

Bringing in doughnuts or any gift seems incredibly try hard and will not elevate you to VIP status. Staff would much rather the extra tip or a round put behind the bar.

And to ask for others on the table to cover their share of a 12 quid box of doughnuts is cringeworthy.

In my experience the most well to do regular guests would occasionally bring me in thoughtful gifts they know I would love like books and tickets to things. Or, if they ordered an expensive wine they would leave me a glass for after work. Those were the people at VIP status.

But I tell you what, your snobby but hopelessly unclassy friend aside, this thread is making me want disgusting fried yeast products.

😂😂😂😂 how did you meet these people?!

Full moon again! They're all out!

I can see that if a restaurant catered for your wedding or a big anniversary or if it was your parents' favourite restaurant but now they'd passed away, that you could take a bottle of champagne for the chef to say thank you, but ffs a packet of doughnuts??? That's insane. If you're a chef you could make yourself a doughnut in five minutes!

How many people are they asking for this money?