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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Niece did a 'reactions' haul video for 18th birthday presents...

403 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 11/09/2019 09:32

I don't know if I am out of touch with the youth of today [I'm only in my 30s but I feel seriously old right now despite working in social media] but I'm feeling pretty offended by this.
My niece turned 18th recently so we all spent a little extra and got her something from a list she provided.
We got her a necklace she'd asked for, for example, but other people couldn't afford to splash out and got vouchers or something smaller.
She's recently become very active on Youtube and Instagram, which is fine and pretty usual, but she saved all her presents from her birthday bbq as she said she wanted to open them later - again, fine.
However the real reason she wanted to open them later is because she wanted to open them during a video and show her live reactions to them, rating them with a thumbs up or thumbs down and saying things like 'Thanks but not thanks Auntie XXX'

I wasn't aware of the video until she shared it on her Facebook page - she's friends with lots of family members on there so people will have seen it. My mum isn't on Facebook but heard about it [her present got a thumbs down] and is mortified and really hurt.

I want to say something to her mum about it but DH thinks I should let it go and not get involved.

What would you do?

OP posts:
MrsMozartMkII · 11/09/2019 10:07

The lass is bloody rude, obnoxious, and needs to grow up. Totally brattish behaviour.

Beautiful3 · 11/09/2019 10:07

I would comment on it, "wow how rude".

OliviaCat · 11/09/2019 10:07

I just looked up "18th birthday haul" videos on youtube. God. What a load of entitled materiallistic fuckwittery. We are doomed.

Choclips · 11/09/2019 10:08

Link please Shock

Glitterpearl · 11/09/2019 10:08

You're nitpicking Glitterpearl, her behaviour is vile and says a hell of a lot about her but of course this is MN so there's always somebody to minimize and make excuses for anybody being a dick hmm.

It isn't nitpicking or minimising to suggest a calmer, more clear headed approach.

The words used to describe this girl on this thread, are IMO much worse than her initial behaviour, and I would guess that most of the posters here do not have the excuse of youth on their side. She has been called vile, a brat, an attention whore. Shock

People make mistakes fgs. Young people make mistakes. Yes your 12 year old already volunteers for four different charities while hand-rearing abandoned kittens, so no other young person could ever possibly make a mistake. Pfft.

I mean come on! You all are sitting behind your computers posting this about her, totally missing the irony of what you are doing. It is laughable really. You lot need to grow up.

CarolineKate · 11/09/2019 10:10

I think she could have made a perfectly nice video called "what I got for my birthday" with no rating involved! This would have been acceptable. Giving gifts a rating just sounds entitled so you are not being unreasonable to feel offended.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 11/09/2019 10:10

Spoilt little madam.

She won’t be getting anything from
Me from now on.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 11/09/2019 10:11

Your mum should definitely ask for her present back, and I'd be tempted to ask for yours back too. Thank her for saving you money in the future as you're never buying her anything again, and make sure her parents know how badly she's treated everyone.

mbosnz · 11/09/2019 10:11

Really good point abut social media swooping by potential employers.

Okay, she's 18 and technically an adult, but equally, her behaviour shows her to be very immature, and thoughtless.

I think I'd be pointing out the potential negative consequences to her, including the above, and suggesting she investigates if she can get her post deleted. (Is that possible? Inquiring minds want to know!).

I'd also be suggesting to her that she owes some apologies to people she has hurt and offended with her thoughtless post. Perhaps by way of letter or in person - not on social media!

ImNotYourGranny · 11/09/2019 10:12

When my young adult daughter posts thoughtless shit on social media I message her privately and tell her to remove it and why. She may be a grown up but she's still growing up.

Message you niece and give her a chance to put it right.

Smelborp · 11/09/2019 10:12

Yes I’d let her mum know, and I’d comment on the video and it would be the last present she ever got from me. She obviously wants attention so she would get it in bucket loads.

ImNotYourGranny · 11/09/2019 10:12
  • your niece
Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 11/09/2019 10:13

Any future employers are going to love her aren’t they?

mbosnz · 11/09/2019 10:13

Glitterpearl, I label the behaviour. Not the person. The behaviour was crass, vile, rude, and disrespectful.

jeffreeshart · 11/09/2019 10:13

I'd say something directly to her about it, not her mum.

She's 18 ffs. Spoilt shit.

Ghostontoast · 11/09/2019 10:13

I really hope no one posts the link on here as this is just the kind of thing the Daily Mail would love to pinch!

Branleuse · 11/09/2019 10:14

Thats pretty crass.
My 11 and 12 year old would probably love shit like that, but my 18 year old would know it was beyond rude. I would have to comment, and i wouldnt get her a damn thing again

WonderWomansSpin · 11/09/2019 10:15

Hmm, it's fairly common for that age group and they tend to exaggerate their reactions as well as ensuring there's a mix of positive and negative.
She could be rude and insensitive or she could view her videos as not being RL.
She's 18. I wouldn't talk to her mum about it. I'd talk to her about it. Explain it may be a generational difference but her video upset some people and she might want to consider an apology.

Mrsjayy · 11/09/2019 10:15

@oliviacat I just did exactly the same out of nosiness I despair !

HennyPennyHorror · 11/09/2019 10:15

I'd be speaking to HER not her Mum. 18! And she's that immature and unkind!

KUGA · 11/09/2019 10:15

Feel so sorry for your mom.air hug from me.
What a horrible and vile person she should be told how upset your DM is.
You can only hope it makes her feel bad.

SerenDippitty · 11/09/2019 10:17

Come on @Glitterpearl. Do you really think this girl would have opened her presents in front of her family and friends and thumbed up and thumbed down and said thanks but no thanks Auntie X? No because she would have known that would be completely unacceptable. Just as she should have known it would be unacceptable to do it on video and share it.

Stop infantilising this 18 year old adult.

JudgeRindersMinder · 11/09/2019 10:17

I’m absolutely speechless-believe me that doesn’t happen often.

I’d be ripping her a new one

Blueoasis · 11/09/2019 10:17

I really hope no one posts the link on here as this is just the kind of thing the Daily Mail would love to pinch!

Hope they do to be honest. She deserves to be told what a cow she is.

WonderWomansSpin · 11/09/2019 10:20

Bullying an 18-yr-old through the medium of the Daily Mail - is what she deserves - really?
Just when I think MN can't surprise me, it sinks to new depths.