AIBU Niece did a 'reactions' haul video for 18th birthday presents...

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I don't know if I am out of touch with the youth of today [I'm only in my 30s but I feel seriously old right now despite working in social media] but I'm feeling pretty offended by this.
My niece turned 18th recently so we all spent a little extra and got her something from a list she provided.
We got her a necklace she'd asked for, for example, but other people couldn't afford to splash out and got vouchers or something smaller.
She's recently become very active on Youtube and Instagram, which is fine and pretty usual, but she saved all her presents from her birthday bbq as she said she wanted to open them later - again, fine.
However the real reason she wanted to open them later is because she wanted to open them during a video and show her live reactions to them, rating them with a thumbs up or thumbs down and saying things like 'Thanks but not thanks Auntie XXX'

I wasn't aware of the video until she shared it on her Facebook page - she's friends with lots of family members on there so people will have seen it. My mum isn't on Facebook but heard about it [her present got a thumbs down] and is mortified and really hurt.

I want to say something to her mum about it but DH thinks I should let it go and not get involved.

What would you do?

I'd comment 👎🏻

Fucking rude. What a brat.

I'd be telling her parents and buying her sod all next year

That is vile. I’m sorry but the poster excusing it as 18 year olds are still young is just wrong. Anyone with any common sense or decency should realise that a video like that could be extremely hurtful to family members who probably went to a lot of effort to pick presents. I say this as someone who has a mentally ill mother. I have had all sorts of shite for gifts over the years but learnt from a young age not to show disappointment in front of my mum who often didn’t know any better. I don’t think there is any excuse to be a cow on camera.

How mortifyingly rude.

If my gift had a thumbs down, I would be asking for it back

I'd comment "I hope you are already regretting this. It has upset many people who gave you gifts because they love you."
And I'd tell her parents.

This is very immature at best, ungrateful and rude at worst. Not even particularly sure that hauls videos tend to be people being ungrateful for presents! Especially as presents were from a list provided, people (her family!) are going to be really hurt.

Definitely say something to her Mum, even if you're just pointing her in the general direction of the video and letting her make her own mind up.

she wanted to open them during a video and show her live reactions to them, rating them with a thumbs up or thumbs down and saying things like 'Thanks but not thanks Auntie XXX'

Well, someone needs to tell her how shockingly out of order this is! Is that you? Her parents? Someone else? Figure that out and go from there.

I’d be tempted to comment that it’s a good job she’s an adult now at 18, because it will be the last ‘gift haul’ she’s ever given.

I am trying to imagine how hurt MY grandmother would have been when I was 18 if I’d done this and it’s making me really, really sad.

Surely her mum saw it if she is friends with her daughter on whereever.

Clearly she missed the memo about when receiving gifts it's the thought that counts.

Self entitled attention seeking brat. Yes tell her mother and tell her how you feel about it. She may deal with it or agree that you can both say something if you wish. Whilst she is 18 she is clearly immature and I think discussing it with the mother first would be the right approach. She needs a lesson or two in manners and decency.

With any luck next year she won't get any presents if she doesn't know how to be gracious.

Yes, I'd be saying something. Very rude, entitled and brattish. I'd also never buy her anything again.

Can we see the video so we can go give it a thumbs down?

She s a brat. By all means leave a public comment on her behaviour. Once you put something on social media you are setting yourself up as fair game for any comments.
The people who liked her video are shallow idiots too.
Even at 18 I had to write thank you letters for gifts. My mother expected me to have manners (which helps you a lot in the grown up world. Let's see how she gets on with that entitled attitude in a job with real adults).

My kids have known since the age of 5 that the only reaction to a present is "Thank you so much, I love it" with a big smile. Dont care if you love it, hate it, have 6 of it already, slap that big smile on and say thanks. If you are going to roll your eyes and refit fine, do it privately.

I would be speaking to her and telling her how she's upset her gran the shallow little cow. So rude! I would also be asking for my gift back and not buying her anything again.

I don't think she is a "vile young woman" at all. I think shes 18. Sometimes 18 year olds can be incredibly stupid, and insensitive to others. But that doesn't make them vile, they just have more growing to do.

Rubbish. My DD at 19 wouldn't dream of doing something like this, she's not so stupid as to believe people wouldn't feel hurt. Hell, even my DS (15) isn't stupid enough to do this.

It's nasty brattish behaviour and niece needs pulling up, or she'll do something like this again.

I would maybe have a chat with her and explain that her actions have upset people. If she is caught up in the craze of these videos, she may not have realised just how rubbish she was making people feel.

Yes, it is a horrible thing to do. And entitled. And brattish. But she is 18 years old, and probably just needs reminding that her actions have consequences!

The problem is that this isn't a 'haul', is it? It's not stuff she's bought or been sent, it's presents that were lovingly chosen by relatives, not dispatched by some random manufacturer in search of advertising. She's treating her relatives like a commodity, and that is what is so wrong. Almost as though she's seen so many YouTube videos, she's lost sight of the fact that there are real people out there.

A word needs to be had. She may just have been a bit thoughtless (thinking more of her appearance and her 'Instafame' than the reactions of the people watching), but she does need to be told that these things aren't just seen by those who make stars of YouTubers, they are seen by friends and family who can be hurt.

I bet she did duck faces in full makeup too during the unboxing, didn't she?

She’s 18 an adult not a child so I would be telling her directly how appalled you are with her behaviour and that people are upset. I would also point out that you no longer buy Birthday or Christmas presents for adult nieces.

it's either socially naive or utterly thoughtless, seems unlikely she deliberately set out to upset everyone - do you think she thought that her family (esp grandma) wouldn't see it because they're not on facebook etc? It's possible if I was a clueless 18 year old I might think that I could compartmentalise like that, not understanding that families talk to each other and only one person in her family needs to have watched it for it to get back to everyone else.

Yes if it’s on YouTube please post a link...

Rude.Rude.Rude.

Why does your DH not want you to get involved?
I wouldn’t have a problem with my sibling telling me if my DC had done something out of order & I wouldn’t think twice about telling if my DN had done something wrong.

You poor mum.

make a family video and post it on her fb page with you all doing a "niece behaviour? thumbs down"?

we all spent a little extra and got her something from a list she provided

She got what she asked for? No?

That is disgusting behaviour. It also reflects badly on her and if I was looking at employing her and did a quick SM swoop (no doubt her account is open for all to see) then it would seriously put me off employing such an entitled brat.