DH has custody of his 16yo son, and the mother has access at weekends and half of the holidays. They alternate Christmases (and the other gets New Year).
This year, it's our year for Christmas, which we were looking forward to.
DH's mum has decided that herself and her partner are going away for NY this year, on a cruise. Apparently, my partner's son asked them could he go with them (he has no concept of money etc, but then again what 16yo does?) to which they said yes.
We only even got informed about this as soon as we did because they need to pay the balance, and they have asked us for £1,000 for his ticket for the week long cruise before the end of this month, and have asked us to also supply £200 spending money for him at the time.
We are not well off. They know we have £10,000 between us in savings, however the whole house desperately needs to be decorated, including a new bathroom and garden, and I don't want to spend ALL of our savings anyway. £1,200 is a huge amount out of that, yet they have worked it out among themselves that yes, he can go, and yes, we will pay. I am able to save a small amount from my wage each month, but my partner's wage is taken up by his outgoings. He had to pay DS's mother the equivalent of half of the house when they split, and has a huge mortgage as a result, and took a new job with a pay cut last year (much happier, but not as well off) so it's even more of a struggle.
The other issue that my partner raised immediately is that DS's mum should have him for New Year, and there's no way she would be happy when she found out about the holiday, as she's often difficult anyway, and would be well within her right to be with this. They responded saying they had already spoken to her and arranged for DS to spend Christmas with her as a compromise.
So not only are they asking us for a huge amount of money, but they have also decided that my partner actually doesn't get to see his own son for the whole of the Christmas holiday, when he should have been with us. Christmas is a very important time IMO, and I don't understand why they think they can take this away from us.
Just to add insult to injury, I received £3,000 in inheritance recently, and DH's mum has suggested that I can perhaps use that. I don't mean to sound selfish - and I happily give him money here and there if he wants to go to the cinema or out for some food or something - but I'm annoyed enough at the whole situation, and feel that it is even more out of order to suggest that MY inheritance should be used to pay for it. I never EVER pull this card, it's not something I dwell on whatsoever, but I am of the mindset that he's not my son, so how DARE they ask me for such a huge amount, or expect that I should just hand it over without question.
I think it's a shocking amount of money for a week's holiday anyway, but it's not an issue to them.
I just find the whole thing hugely irritating, not to mention worrying. Yes, I've been given this money, but I was planning on paying one of my credit cards off, which would really lighten my load if I could! It's not like I'm rolling in it. I have debts, which I am doing really well with, but I want them to be gone ASAP.
But now we're in the situation of having to try and get this money together (it will leave us short for what we need to do on the house - which DS will benefit from much more than a week's cruise, IMO) before the end of the month. Before I moved in, my partner had struggled with depression and had a difficult relationship with his ex, and as such things really slipped with the house, for years. I've helped him get himself back up on his feet, we're doing really well, and now we're creating a house that's truly ours, together.
I feel DH's mum should have ASKED us first, before telling him he could go with them.. as he's already really excited, and we would feel incredibly bad if it turned out he couldn't go, because of us.
We CAN do it, but AIBU to think that we really shouldn't have to?