Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weekday Birthday Celebration

127 replies

Freespirit24 · 10/09/2019 20:53

Before I write this -rant- I want to acknowledge that there is not much I can do about this situation as I have been pushed into a corner but I just need a good old vent and a AIBU question?

My sister is celebrating her birthday next month and she and her husband have decided that they want to plan a family meal on a Tuesday night!

I am working, dad is working, my husband is working, everyone has to get away early from work or rush home and get showered and dressed quickly, go out for the meal and then come home and up again the next day at 6am for work. This is all while trying to get home in rush hour traffic from London on a weekday!

My sisters husband is insistent that it has to be this night or another week night as this is what suits them. It is just so annoying to constantly tell someone that you do not want to go out after work or with work the next day and be told this is easier for them

I do not see why they cant take an annual leave day for a weekend if they want to celebrate this ocassion so much.

As I write this I have just been informed that it has now been changed to a Monday! If I say I cant go I turn out to the bad one?

OP posts:
Peony99 · 10/09/2019 20:56

I'd have no problem at all with a family meal on a work night.

Perhaps they just don't realise why it's difficult for you - eg it wouldn't occur to me that you'd plan on going home first, rather than straight to the dinner.

Original poster
Freespirit24 · 10/09/2019 20:58

@Peony99

I have explained that week day events are a bit of a no no for us as we travel very far from work (1.5 hours to get home) and then to get ready and go back out again it is a bit much.

OP posts:
ElizaDee · 10/09/2019 21:00

I'd not go. Or just turn up when I get there. And leave when I need to.

Ginger1982 · 10/09/2019 21:01

So do they work weekends?

I would just take a change of clothes to work and go straight to the dinner.

misspiggy19 · 10/09/2019 21:02

YABU- i have always attended weekday birthday meals as have friends.

user1493413286 · 10/09/2019 21:03

So do you never do anything in the week? As it’s her birthday I’m assuming this is a once a year irritation and I don’t see the big deal to be honest. I’d also just go straight from work.

Ubercornsdiscoball · 10/09/2019 21:03

It’s your sister’s birthday. She can celebrate it whenever she likes. Just don’t go if it doesn’t suit

TheRLodger · 10/09/2019 21:04

Yabu the birthday girl gets to choose the what’s, whens and wheres of her birthday. Like it or lump it I’m afraid

Original poster
Freespirit24 · 10/09/2019 21:05

@Ginger1982 @misspiggy19

What is bothering me is that I have said on a couple of occassions before any table has been booked that a weekday is not convient and that a weekend is better but this just seems to be ignored and we are expected to show up regardless.

I would not take a change of clothes. If our attendence was that important then they would consider when everyone attending is available.

OP posts:
InterestingView · 10/09/2019 21:06

Just go straight from work. You dont HAVE to go home and shower etc first. You just dont want to go that's fine just say no thanks. Or book an afternoon off work and the morning after if you need to/want to.

Original poster
Freespirit24 · 10/09/2019 21:09

@InterestingView

That is the fine why should I be the one to book A/L when I am not the one wanting to celebrate? Its not a special birthday or anything as I havea really demanding job, hectic week. I think I am just someone who sees the week for work and weekends for letting my hair down and going out during the week, I wont enjoy myself will have to arrive late and go home and then up at 6am the next day, it is not fun.

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 10/09/2019 21:11

I don't see why you wouldn't take a change of clothes...

But anyway, just don't go then!

Loveislandaddict · 10/09/2019 21:12

What time is she booking the meal for? Is it local to where you live?

I think it’s unfair for her to ask you to book an afternoon off for her meal, unless it’s a special birthday. Maybe leaving half an hour or hour early may be okay, depending on what you do.

It sounds like an inconveniance, rather than a hardship.

You can always say No.

misspiggy19 · 10/09/2019 21:13

I would not take a change of clothes. If our attendence was that important then they would consider when everyone attending is available.

^You are just being difficult for the sake of it. Don’t go then. I am sure your sister won’t miss you and your entitled attitude.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 10/09/2019 21:15

Wow what a bundle of fun you are. So your sister should celebrate her birthday when its convenient for you rather than her. It really isnt that difficult to take a change of clothes with you to work or even go in your work clothes assuming no uniform. You are just being miserable.

Original poster
Freespirit24 · 10/09/2019 21:19

I could be wrong but when you celebrate any occassion do you not consider your audiance of who is coming and go by the majority of people and when they are available?

Our of everyone attending, the majority are working and I may be coming across as miserable but I am just a bit upset that I would say make it any weekend, any day (even a Sunday) and this is not an option? I do not think I am the one being difficult when I am hapy for any other day when I am not coming from work and working the next day. I wont be able to drink or enjoy myself or will others as they will be in the same boat?

OP posts:
Peony99 · 10/09/2019 21:20

why should I be the one to book A/L when I am not the one wanting to celebrate?

If you don't want to celebrate, don't go! You sound thoroughly miserable.

Loveislandaddict · 10/09/2019 21:21

Disclaimer, I went out last night, drank and enjoyed myself, and went to work today. It ‘‘tis possible to go out on a school night and have fun.

imnotinthemood · 10/09/2019 21:23

I'm with you I also hate week night celebrations. I'd still go though can you leave work a little earlier? Obviously not stay too late . I know it's a inconvenience and a weekend is better for you but for one night I'd make the effort .

clolo · 10/09/2019 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dimdarkashian · 10/09/2019 21:27

Just go straight from work...can't see why you're making a big deal of it tbh

Upanddownandroundagain · 10/09/2019 21:27

Is it local to where you live? What is everyone else saying?

I came here to say you werent BU but you’re actually being very stubborn, not even considering suggestions and a bit rude... you have no intention of even trying. Just don’t go if you don’t want to.

Nottheduchess · 10/09/2019 21:29

OP you really sound like you are stamping your feet having a tantrum. If you want to go, take clothes to change so you don’t have to make the round trip. Your sister should celebrate her birthday when she wants to.

hellinabreadbasket · 10/09/2019 21:30

When it's your birthday will you expect them to book time off to celebrate with you on a weekend, or will you make it a weekday to suit them?!

^this^

mrsm43s · 10/09/2019 21:30

When its your birthday, you get to choose the date and time.

When it is someone else's, you don't get to dictate when or how they celebrate. All you have the option of is saying "yes" or "no" to the event they have invited you to.

Personally, I work in London, which is a 2 hour commute, and I go out in my home town during the week very frequently, its really no big deal. I tend to just wear something to work that is also a suitable outfit for the evening, and touch up my make up on the train home. Go straight to event from the station. It's really no big deal. You sound very inflexible, or just out to make things difficult.