Weekday Birthday Celebration

[Freespirit24]

Before I write this -rant- I want to acknowledge that there is not much I can do about this situation as I have been pushed into a corner but I just need a good old vent and a AIBU question?

My sister is celebrating her birthday next month and she and her husband have decided that they want to plan a family meal on a Tuesday night!

I am working, dad is working, my husband is working, everyone has to get away early from work or rush home and get showered and dressed quickly, go out for the meal and then come home and up again the next day at 6am for work. This is all while trying to get home in rush hour traffic from London on a weekday!

My sisters husband is insistent that it has to be this night or another week night as this is what suits them. It is just so annoying to constantly tell someone that you do not want to go out after work or with work the next day and be told this is easier for them

I do not see why they cant take an annual leave day for a weekend if they want to celebrate this ocassion so much.

As I write this I have just been informed that it has now been changed to a Monday! If I say I cant go I turn out to the bad one?

[thatmustbenigelwiththebrie]

Do you never do anything on a work night? This does not seem an unreasonable arrangement to me. Sure, it's a rush after work but I am sure you'll survive!

[Heartofglass12345]

Wow your life must be pretty miserable if all you do is work eat and sleep all week!
I used to work 12 hour shifts as a nurse and go out afterwards! What job do you do that makes you so stinky

[3rdNamechange]

I get up at 6 , 45 mins commute, 12.5 hour shift and I still go out weeknights sometimes

[ConkerGame]

OP I’ve never heard anything so inflexible as your excuse! I go out nearly every night after work. My commute time is only half yours but I sometimes (gasp) travel the same distance again away from my home to meet a friend who lives in the other direction and then it takes double the time to get home afterwards.

I have never once felt the need to go home and shower or get changed in between work and whatever dinner/drinks/event I’m going to. Today I’ve brought in a change of clothes as the event I’m going to after work is very casual and I dress smartly for work.

I have a very stressful, long-hours job too. I think you’re just being lazy and difficult tbh and I’m very glad you’re not my sister! (Sorry that sounds really harsh but it’s true!) Go and celebrate with her, you might even find you have a nice time!

[user1471449295]

YABVU. This is your sister. This is her birthday. This is a one off. You seem very self centred

[AmIThough]

This thread is hilarious.
Maybe your sister has busy social weekends too and wants to spend her birthday weekend with friends?
Maybe you not being able to drink much is the exact reason she's done it on a weeknight.

[Crunchymum]

In my circle of freinds we would never go out on a week night.

[loobyloo1234]

I leave my house at 645 to get to work for 8. I leave work at 5 and get home around 615. I somehow find it within me to go out some weeknights, meals, drinks etc. Its really no big deal

PS - change your username, it doesnt suit you

[Answerthequestion]

do not know how anyone could possibly work all day, get home at 7pm and be expected to get dressed and be out the door and arrive at a restaurant which takes like 20 minutes to get to and do all that in time?

I don’t see the issue with an evening celebration. It’s perfectly possible and normal to go out at night, even with a commute and totally reasonable to want a mid week celebration. If 7.30 is a struggle say “we probably won’t make it until 8 due to travel but order without us and we’ll join in when we arrive” job done

[DementorsKiss]

YABU - the birthday person gets to pick the birthday event & date said event is to be held - you get to pick on your birthday

[PutyourtoponTrevor]

I was up at 5 today, will be leaving work at 5 to go home, 2 hour commute, get showered and changed and be at a friend's engagement meal for 8...it is near home though

[PutyourtoponTrevor]

Pressed post too early, if it's not convenient for you, don't go...I'm sure with your attitude you won't be missed

[shookennotstirred]

Maybe they picked a weekday hoping you wouldn't come.

[Caterina99]

Lol I went out after work at least once a week when I was working. And I had a 1.5-2 hour commute. Either wear same outfit, or spare top in bag, or run home and quickly get changed since you can.

Never bothered me, apart from the week before Christmas one year when I was out late every night of the week. That was quite tiring

[swissmilk]

Do you drink too much op?
Maybe your sister has arranged it so you can't get wasted as you have work the next day?

But as you've already said your sister works the weekend, then of course it make sense you her to arrange it another day, so she can enjoy her birthday meal.

If she was suggesting an out all night clubbing situation then you might have a case....but actually you are acting unbelievably dick-ish about this.

[imnotinthemood]

Really nasty comments on here saying things like maybe she doesn't want you to come and do you drink too much .
1 or 2 of you should be ashamed . yeah she's being unreasonable but really why so nasty .

[stayathomer]

I could be wrong but when you celebrate any occassion do you not consider your audiance of who is coming and go by the majority of people and when they are available?

But that's how you end up with people saying oh that Friday doesn't suit and this Saturday doesn't suit and next thing you know you're celebrating your bday a month later! Its the one time of the year the bday person can ask people to jump through hoops!!It honestly does just sound like you've forgotten how to be flexible and suit other people. I'd say this will end up being one of your best nights out because that's generally how these things go!

[Howlovely]

Good grief I've never read such guff in my life! You really are making this all about you and inventing problems where there really are none.
Quick reality check:
You are not the most important person in the world
Working a 7 hour day is my idea of part time
A 1.5 hour commute really isn't that much
You could very easily, just once, go out for your sister's birthday meal if you wanted to. Although goodness knows why she would want you there if you're going to look like a bulldog chewing a wasp all night over the fact that she hasn't planned her whole birthday celebration just to suit you.

Reread your posts and see if you can see how childish and selfish you seem in them.

[testingtesting111]

You're being ridiculously unreasonable.

Why do you expect your sister's birthday to be about you/ arranged for your convenience? For goodness sake just look at the menu ask someone to place your order and just turn up 20 mins late if you're that worried about timings. Alternatively, as others have said if it's going to be such a chore don't go.

[shookennotstirred]

It's not nasty it's a genuine question?
Not all families get on. It comes across that the OP doesn't get on/know her sister very well or care that much about her?

[Didntwanttochangemyname]

It comes across that you resent your sister, or you just live in a really small world.

[Pumpkintopf]

You're being daft. If you care about your sister, fit in with her preferences without making a fuss. Go straight from work to the restaurant.

[FrauHaribo]

In my circle of freinds we would never go out on a week night.

that's brilliant
So lucky for them, none of your friend is a shift worker of any kind.

[swissmilk]

@imnotinthemood if you are referring to my post (sorry I didn't read the whole thread, so maybe someone else mentioned the drinking too much thing) why would anyone be offended at me asking if that was a possibility? Unless it was definitely a possibility, then of course they wouldn't like it.
I'm just thinking outside the box, because of the op's really strange objection to a really reasonable situation (plus they did write something in one of their posts which made me think that was the real reason they were annoyed, that the op wouldn't be able to let their hair down or something)

[swissmilk]

Ps I like getting wasted on occasion, so there was no judgement there on my part!