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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed with this teacher?

298 replies

tomboytown · 10/09/2019 16:29

Ds-first week of senior school.
Mon- supposed to have History homework
Mon- gets given a worksheet
Monday night- completes the worksheet

Tuesday-gets detention for completing the worksheet.

It’s his first week!
Punishing a child for actually doing more work than is necessary?!

OP posts:
sweetiepie1979 · 10/09/2019 17:51

Is this thread still Going? ....
Oils you not just email school get it sorted and move maybe the child was confused maybe the teacher is an arsehole but it’s simply sorted by speaking to the school then move on.....

MustShowDH · 10/09/2019 17:56

Haha - 5 mins? I'm surprised he even told you about it!

I would guess its more like 'those of you that didn't listen to the instructions properly yesterday can sit here for 5 mins' or were lippy in a 'Aw Miss, we did this sheet last night' kind of way.

Pick your battles.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 17:57

He’s upset that he’s got something wrong, and is now doubting whether he need to complete tonight’s homework on the sheet or on his book, cos he’s worried about getting told off
I'm going to go out on a limb here and bet the teacher told them what they have to do and what's more likely is that he's not listened.

Now supposing this is genuinely one of the occasions where a teacher has issued homework and not told students what do do, we could apply some common sense.
Emg.
Are there answer boxes on the sheet?
Are there lines for written answers?
If it requires questions answering then does it make more sense to squeeze them into tiny spaces or write in full sentences.

It's awfully interesting that a student is both upset over the original not listening to instructions and not recording homework accurately only to have a 2nd issue linked to the same thing. Funny that when home have sent the message that whatever he says about homework goes.

And I think the fact that it’s only 5minutes is completely irrelevant. It was a punishment
You're going to have a rough time at secondary school if you're going to start having an issue being kept back to speak to a teacher for 5 mins or go back and see them at break/lunch.

Give it time and I'm sure staff won't have mentioned tests that are coming up, won't have told them about homework, didn't give task instructions in class, and so on.

ChildminderMum · 10/09/2019 17:58

I'd email the school in a "DS is upset about getting a detention, I'm not clear on exactly what happened, how can we support him at home so it doesn't happen again?" way and see what the teacher says.

SandyY2K · 10/09/2019 18:00

I'd call the school and speak to the teacher to ensure there was no misunderstanding.

Then if s/he confirmed that my child was given detention for the reason he said, I would make a complaint to the HOY/HT.

Even if he did homework too early or did the work that was to be done at a later date, I don't think it warrants a detention. Especially as it's just the first week back and there may have been a lack of clarification.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 18:01

childminder
Or point out to DC that they've now had two situations where they don't seem to know what they're doing for homework and maybe if they paid attention, wrote it down accuratly and checked with the teacher if they had any questions then they wouldn't have these problems.

Personally I give students a free pass the first time, but it's all too easy to see the habit here of it always being the teachers' fault. The sooner the student learns to take responsibility and home stop wanting to complain about being kept back for 5 mins the easier they'll find school.

ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents · 10/09/2019 18:07

He’s upset that he’s got something wrong, and is now doubting whether he need to complete tonight’s homework on the sheet or on his book, cos he’s worried about getting told off.

Why is he confused about this? Did he not pay attention once again? Surely it would have been explained where to complete the work, and if he was not sure, why did he not clarify with the teacher before he left?

I think you may need to ask your child to ask for clarification when he does not understand something clearly, the teacher is there to teach and help.

Musmerian · 10/09/2019 18:18

I am a secondary school teacher and I think this is outrageous. Guaranteed to turn students off learning. Definitely chase it up.

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 18:18

Well tbh, I’ve looked st the sheet and used my common sense, but I’m still not 100% about tonight’s sheet. There’s no boxes, no lines, but there is space.
I’m sure after a couple of weeks, he’ll know what the norm is, but it’s day 2.
Childmindermum- that sounds like a sensible plan

OP posts:
BelleSausage · 10/09/2019 18:21

What your child was given is not a detention. Have you checked the school sanction system to see how it was recorded. Stopping behind 5 minutes to talk to a teacher is NOT a detention.

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 18:22

He didn’t have to talk to the teacher for 5 minutes
She said detention

OP posts:
BelleSausage · 10/09/2019 18:23

5 minutes is not a detention. Is it recorded as a detention on his sanctions?

BelleSausage · 10/09/2019 18:23

And how do you know what she said? You haven’t actually asked her!

Mishappening · 10/09/2019 18:25

Well that's a great way to set him on his way to settling in to a new school. Power crazy! Have some humanity you stupid woman!

ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents · 10/09/2019 18:28

Well tbh, I’ve looked st the sheet and used my common sense, but I’m still not 100% about tonight’s sheet. There’s no boxes, no lines, but there is space.

Your common sense won't help as you were not a part of the lesson, the teacher would have told students what needed to be done, so you need to accept that your son is evidently not paying attention. You also need to tell him that if something is not clear, then he should ask his teacher to clarify for him. This will eliminate any worry of getting told off.

This is the second situation where your son has clearly not paid attention, it does not require weeks of attendance to understand simple instructions as to what work needs to be done and where.

If homework is given and he is unsure where it needs to be completed, all he needs to simply do is ask. I cannot imagine a teacher not making this clear, but if they have not then asking for clarification is the way to go.

The teacher has done nothing wrong here, the issue is your son. Encourage him to speak up when he is not certain and get his concerns answered.

herculepoirot2 · 10/09/2019 18:28

He got a detention (5 minutes) for not listening and therefore doing the wrong thing. Next time maybe he will do the right thing, and problem solved.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 10/09/2019 18:30

Well tbh, I’ve looked st the sheet and used my common sense, but I’m still not 100% about tonight’s sheet. There’s no boxes, no lines, but there is space

But what was the instruction he was given with the sheet when it was given? What did he write down in his HW diary? Does he know anyone else he can ask?

barryfromclareisfit · 10/09/2019 18:36

Sometimes you can’t finish the sheet until you’ve been taught the course content in class. You could fill in the gaps on the page but not build on your learning effectively.

idril · 10/09/2019 18:43

Giving children a detention (no matter how short) for such a minor thing when they were clearly trying to do the right thing just undermines the whole sanction policy. Utterly ridiculous.

My son had a great teacher who had a policy that if you have genuinely forgotten your homework and you are not a repeat offender then you have one chance to hand it in before registration the next day with nothing further said.

We all make mistakes and there is such a lot to take in in the first week. My nephew's school doesn't set homework for year 7s for a month so they can get to grips with everything else that is new before having to worry about homework too.

herculepoirot2 · 10/09/2019 18:46

Giving children a detention (no matter how short) for such a minor thing when they were clearly trying to do the right thing just undermines the whole sanction policy. Utterly ridiculous.

It doesn’t. It underlines it. It is important to listen to instructions so you can follow them. If you don’t understand them, it is important to ask. Otherwise too much falls down the gap between teacher’s mouth and student’s brain.

fluffyjumper · 10/09/2019 18:47

I think the teacher is being too harsh, I would want to know the teachers side. I just hope this hasnt put him off the subject too much.

BelleSausage · 10/09/2019 18:55

No one knows what actually happened. No one knows if it is actually a detention or if OPs son just heard the word detention. No one knows who this teacher is or their side of the story.

We’ve only got the OP’s rather vague version of the story and endless drip feeding.

mankyfourthtoe · 10/09/2019 18:56

(Ex teacher although primary)
I'd ring and ask someone to explain what's happened as he thinks he's got a detention for doing a worksheet, and is now worried.
Someone will explain or apologise

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 18:58

What drip feeding?
The five minutes thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 19:03

My son heard the word detention, it doesn’t matter if it’s in the official sanction system or not.
In his eyes he has been punished for doing what he thought was sensible and completing the worksheet.
I’ve had very good relationships with ds’s teachers so far in his education. Senior school is a big change, and I think it takes a bit more than 2 days to get the hang of.

OP posts: