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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed with this teacher?

298 replies

tomboytown · 10/09/2019 16:29

Ds-first week of senior school.
Mon- supposed to have History homework
Mon- gets given a worksheet
Monday night- completes the worksheet

Tuesday-gets detention for completing the worksheet.

It’s his first week!
Punishing a child for actually doing more work than is necessary?!

OP posts:
SachaStark · 10/09/2019 16:51

Ah, then I’m afraid from our point of view at my school, he would be at fault for not writing in his homework correctly. They do need to get used to doing this, and it’s not hard!

The teacher will have written the homework on the board/PPT, said, “Copy that into your planner”, and the children are expected to do that. I have had many words with students to say that just “English” isn’t good enough!

What kind of detention is it? It’s a shame if he’s got one, but it will hopefully teach him a lesson in writing down the homework correctly in future.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 10/09/2019 16:53

He might well have made a mistake, but now he's obviously trying to deflect fault onto the teacher. You shouldn't be encouraging that.

If you want to know what happened, calmly ask the teacher. And let her know what your son said about her being told off too!

ScreamingValenta · 10/09/2019 16:53

So, was there some other homework he should have done instead of the worksheet? Just wondering why he would have written 'History' in his homework diary if they didn't have any history homework.

Hippee · 10/09/2019 16:53

My DS's school expects year 7s to be a bit confused at first. If you get muddled (DS twice did his homework but "couldn't find it" in his bag) - they sign you up to "Get organised club" where, every week, you get 5 minutes with a teacher to go though your homework diary and make sure that you understand everything. So glad he goes to this school and not the other one in our town, which sounds very much like OP's experience.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 16:54

Why is it a bad thing that he did the worksheet before the lesson? Is the teacher to lazy to find them something else todo? Or did he not do the actual homework?
Because often there's teaching input required to do tasks properly.
Maybe it's not about laziness and the teacher has planned their lessons and now (in the middle of the lesson) has to think of something separate off the top of their head to factor in people not following instructions? Maybe it affected paired or group working? Who knows.

They have a diary- he’d written ‘history’ !!
So instead of recording the homework in his homework diary, he wrote the subject, no task information, didn't do the homework (i'm guessing as you've said he did the sheet as homework and it clearly wasn't that).

So this is a simple:
Teacher set homework to do A
Child didn't record A and instead did B
Teacher sanctions for not doing homework correctly

Just like in almost every other school.

Given the OP's child has come home speculating the teacher was being "told off" and it probably had something to do with their situation and the OP thinks this speculation is funny, I'm inclined to think we have a student here who doesn't listen/follown instructions and a parent who backs them

Faultymain5 · 10/09/2019 16:55

OP do get ready for everyone to say that your child is lying! Form for MN.

I would assume that he misunderstood something. I'd be inclined to find out what it is. I would not be inclined to whine about letting him off the first week. This is the teacher's way of stamping their authority and they have every right to do it this way, even if we think it was a bit harsh.

SachaStark · 10/09/2019 16:55

I reckon as usual, Lola, you’ve probably got the right measure of it there! Just saw the OP’s most recent post where she and her son are discussing the teacher being “told off” and laughing about it. Not a good start to secondary school!

TantrumsAndBalloons · 10/09/2019 16:56

So the detention is actually for not doing the homework? It isn’t for completing the worksheet?

BelleSausage · 10/09/2019 16:57

@tomboytown
Both you and your son sound charming.

Teachers don’t get ‘told off’.

You obviously have zero interest in finding out what actually happened and are ‘that’ parent.

XXcstatic · 10/09/2019 16:58

I'd say 'don't be that parent', OP, but it sounds like you already are..

WonderWomansSpin · 10/09/2019 16:58

Well if he had history homework and the sheet wasn't the homework then I'd guess the detention was for not doing the homework (rather than doing the wrong homework iyswim).

steppemum · 10/09/2019 16:59

My DS's school expects year 7s to be a bit confused at first. If you get muddled (DS twice did his homework but "couldn't find it" in his bag) - they sign you up to "Get organised club" where, every week, you get 5 minutes with a teacher to go though your homework diary and make sure that you understand everything.

this is excellent, and exactly how it should be!
All schools know it takes year 7s a week or two to settle. Mistakes in the first 2 weeks are learning points, - so ds, you did the wrong homework, have a think, what was the problem - yes you should have written in down more carefully. Remember in future the wrong homework could mean a detention.
Then at end of the lesson, reminder about what they should have written down and get them to double check they have.

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 17:01

Hippee- that sounds like a nice idea.

The teacher getting told off is nothing to do with it, I’m sure.

Sacha- I get that. I’m sure the homework instruction should be clear. But it’s his first actual day of homework and it says in his homework diary that he should have history homework, so it does make sense that this worksheet is the homework. Rather than, they should have homework but not been given any.
There was no homework, but they were given a worksheet, they completed the worksheet and were given detention. It was a 5min detention, so not a big deal, but obviously it’s the principle. And he’s horrified at being given detention in the first week and feels aggrieved because he did more work than necessary.

I don’t know any other parents well enough to ask. Not got any teachers details.

OP posts:
autumnkate · 10/09/2019 17:01

Clearly the detention is for not doing the actual set homework.

When I had just started teaching I might well have set the same detention. It is justified. However now I’ve had my own children I am definitely more lenient with the Year 7s! It’s a big learning curve for them that I didn’t appreciate properly as a slightly insecure 22 year old teacher.

I’d think about it from the teacher’s POV if I were you, OP

Topseyt · 10/09/2019 17:02

I should think that there will be more to this. It is just illogical otherwise.

You could email the teacher or the form tutor to ask what the issue was and to ask what should have been done rather than the sheet. Perhaps there was some homework to be done as background ahead of completing the worksheet in the next lesson?

Don't go in all guns blazing or you could end up with egg on your face. There is quite likely to be another side to this in addition to what your DS has told you.

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 17:03

Lola- there wasn’t any homework

And I’m not laughing at the teacher getting told off, I’m laughing at Ds’s naivety that it has something to do with his situation.

OP posts:
BelleSausage · 10/09/2019 17:03

@LolaSmiles

It is actually very entertaining when parents like this phone up full of fire and brimstone and you very carefully explain how little Johnny has been very economical with the truth.

I do so love the very apologetic, timid voices at the end of the phone call.

My especially favourite was the parent who said their child NEVER lied. Ever. They were just not capable of lying. So it must be me. She was still insisting this after I pointed out we had CCTV of incident.

I’m never sure what parents like this are trying to achieve.

autumnkate · 10/09/2019 17:05

Ah- cross post. None set at all? If that’s the case, it’s a bit strange. Is the teacher quite new? A 5 min detention, no homework and giving out worksheets in advance sounds like they might have been in a bit of muddle that lesson.

ScreamingValenta · 10/09/2019 17:05

When you say they completed the worksheet, how many pupils made the same mistake as your DS?

berlinbabylon · 10/09/2019 17:06

Pick your battles. My ds used to moan but it was 30 mins of his life. I did contact the school when I thought it was too harsh or unfair, but that was about twice in five years of secondary.

However, there is nothing wrong with emailing the school for the attention of the teacher and asking if they can call to clarify. In my school you wouldn't have got a detention for doing the wrong homework unless it became a habit, but schools seem to be very strict now and give detentions for everything.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 17:06

OP do get ready for everyone to say that your child is lying! Form for MN
Far from it.
I think many people on MN (especially those who work in schools) are fairly good at reading a post and the tone and working out what the issue is likely to be.

Parent who's annoyed like this, combined with their child claiming their teacher was told off (and speculating it was about their detention) and the parent thinking it's funny is more likely than not to be the sort of student who doesn't listen/doesn't follow instructions, selectively tells a version to Mum in the knowledge mum will kick off to school.

Steppemum
You can still sanction whilst having those conversations though

My school operates on some additional flex for the first week or so of year 7.

Equally whether to use the flex depends on the situation.
Child forgets their homework because they've forgotten their book because they've packed for week 1 and not week 2 - probably going to have a second chance

Child doesn't do their homework or does it incorrectly because when I was explaining instructions they were talking / I put it word for word on the board, gave time to copy it down and they chose not to write it down properly - probably going to be a sanction

The former is part of transition. The latter is a child who from day 1 thinks instructions are optional.

Jeezoh · 10/09/2019 17:07

I bet your son will pay proper attention to the teacher’s instructions the next time he’s given a worksheet - which is presumably the point of the detention. FWIW I think it is harsh but understand why the teacher did it, expectations at senior school are really very different to primary!

berlinbabylon · 10/09/2019 17:07

Huh? There was no homework, he did a worksheet and he's got a detention for doing a worksheet. Well wow. Nothing like damaging someone's enthusiasm! I would kick up about that.

berlinbabylon · 10/09/2019 17:08

@Jeezoh do you think kids should also be punished if they read ahead in an English lit text?

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 17:08

Oh dear
I’m not going in guns blazing
And I think it’s obvious that the teacher was annoyed because the lesson plan is now messed up, but it’s their first week!

OP posts: