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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed with this teacher?

298 replies

tomboytown · 10/09/2019 16:29

Ds-first week of senior school.
Mon- supposed to have History homework
Mon- gets given a worksheet
Monday night- completes the worksheet

Tuesday-gets detention for completing the worksheet.

It’s his first week!
Punishing a child for actually doing more work than is necessary?!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 10/09/2019 17:08

You will have the details of his form tutor or the Head of Year. They will know who his history teacher is even if DS doesn't yet remember the name.

If you really wish to you could approach them (in a civil manner, not all guns blazing) and ask what they think the issue was here, so that you can explain it to DS and ensure it doesn't happen again.

Be prepared for the possibility of there being a side to this that you haven't been told about though, that is all.

MonChatEstMagnifique · 10/09/2019 17:08

I don’t know any other parents well enough to ask. Not got any teachers details.

Just call the school reception, they will be able to get your sons History teacher to call you. It sounds like a misunderstanding but I wouldn't be happy with my child getting a detention for trying to do the right thing. Speak to the teacher, show them you are a reasonable parent with an interest in your child's education.

Hairsprayqueeen · 10/09/2019 17:11

This happened to me at school in the 90s! Yes I think its harsh.

Faultymain5 · 10/09/2019 17:12

*OP do get ready for everyone to say that your child is lying! Form for MN
Far from it.
I think many people on MN (especially those who work in schools) are fairly good at reading a post and the tone and working out what the issue is likely to be.

Parent who's annoyed like this, combined with their child claiming their teacher was told off (and speculating it was about their detention) and the parent thinking it's funny is more likely than not to be the sort of student who doesn't listen/doesn't follow instructions, selectively tells a version to Mum in the knowledge mum will kick off to school.*

I don't know this child, so I would like to say. I'd rather assume he'd made a mistake and was penalised for it. Deducing anything else in the child's first week of school is a little presumptuous and I'd err on the side of caution. Especially since the OP has explained her haha! comment.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 17:12

tomboytown
Cross posted with your update.

In which case I'd just move on to be honest. He wasn't given any homework. He'd written homework down when the teacher hadn't set any and got it wrong.
Next time he'll make sure he checks homework properly and follows instructions regarding worksheets.

If I have 5 mins spare in a lesson I might give my classes tomorrow's extract. If I tell them to glue this in for tomorrow's lesson then that's the instructions. If they go away and try to complete next lesson work without the required input then that's on them not following instructions.
Start of y7 I'd probably not give a detention for first time but I get why some would.

Faultymain5 · 10/09/2019 17:14

Additionally, I think teachers forget that parents went to school first. We all have stories of "that" unreasonable teacher. Not that I'm saying this teacher in this instance was unreasonable. Mostly because we don't know the facts

Bluntness100 · 10/09/2019 17:18

I strongly suspect you've the wrong end of the stick op and if you phone th school you'll get thr correct story. More likely he hasn't done the homework that was actually set.

But I really doubt he got detention for doing more work and the fact he thinks he saw the teacher getting into trouble like a child is a little odd.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 17:19

Faultymain5
How can we forget they went to school? Grin Usually that's the foundation for telling people how to do their jobs properly, deciding sanctions are unjust (even with CCTV evidence), why X Y Z isn't their holds fault

The OP may not be like that since they've come back and clarified their take on their child's speculation (though I'm still amused that a new y7 would be so confident to decide a teacher was told off and it was clearly because of an issue with them, it's not a typical y7 way of viewing things), but we see the "I went to school so..." All the time

Chewbecca · 10/09/2019 17:19

What do you think if you change the reason for the detention from 'doing more work than necessary' to 'not listening properly to instructions'?

rubyroot · 10/09/2019 17:19

Is there a possibility your kid got detention for something else and is covering his tracks by saying he got detention for doing his work. I really doubt a teacher would do that

aintnothinbutagstring · 10/09/2019 17:23

My DD has just started secondary, the maths teacher keeps giving them their workbook to take home with no homework to do. I find that a confusing system as she has to look after an extra book for no reason, why not keep them at school unless homework? I'd complain to the school, not fair for a new y7 for the teachers misleading instructions.

MrGsFancyNewVagina · 10/09/2019 17:24

Oh FFS! You’re getting het up over a FIVE MINUTE detention! I love the fact you kept that little nugget to yourself, until you had enough angry posters on your side, OP. Well played.

I think the teacher was trying to show the children from the get go, what is expected of them and did it in a very good way. At what stage do you think it is acceptable for a student to start listening properly to the teacher? First day, second week?

shithappens123 · 10/09/2019 17:25

This reply has been deleted

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BelleSausage · 10/09/2019 17:27

@Faultymain5

Teachers do know this. Too well. Because there are some parents who believe that you are that arsehole teacher they hated and treat you accordingly.

Parents who hated school are generally mistrustful of teachers.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 17:28

My DD has just started secondary, the maths teacher keeps giving them their workbook to take home with no homework to do. I find that a confusing system as she has to look after an extra book for no reason, why not keep them at school unless homework?
Because they are in secondary school so they generally look after their own books.

How exactly is this confusing:
You look after your books and bring them to lesson
When your teacher sets homework you write it down and do it
If they don't set homework then there is no homework to do

So help us if we have adults who think this is too much responsibility.

kmammamalto · 10/09/2019 17:30

@lolasmiles has this all wrapped up 👍🏼

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 17:32

Ruby- of course there’s a possibility that there’s more to it. But I’m struggling to see what exactly.

Shithappens- nope, I’m not an idiot, neither is my child. He’s a very bright, eager to learn student.
He’s upset that he’s got something wrong, and is now doubting whether he need to complete tonight’s homework on the sheet or on his book, cos he’s worried about getting told off.

OP posts:
Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 17:38

And I think the fact that it’s only 5minutes is completely irrelevant. It was a punishment

OP posts:
WhatTiggersDoBest · 10/09/2019 17:38

As a former teacher, I had a kid in year 1 complete his entire workbook for the year after I sent it home with him to catch up on a week's worth of work he'd missed due to illness.
I didn't tell the child off. I didn't whinge at the parents or make a thing out of it. It was obviously an honest mistake. I worked around it and differentiated different work with the same learning goals for him for the rest of the year. Because I was a professional. What this teacher has done is not professional and it's not a proportionate response to the situation, and I wish I was more shocked at the frankly childish responses coming from some (not all) of the other teachers on here but I quit teaching for a reason and it was nothing to do with the children. It would be reasonable for you to contact the HOY or HOD to check why this has happened.

HighNetGirth · 10/09/2019 17:40

‘Get Organised Club’ is genius. Now, how to get work to arrange one?

Faultymain5 · 10/09/2019 17:40

@BelleSausage and others.

Will you concede that there were and continue to be arseholes who, happen to be teachers. I always find it interesting on the education pages, that the crowd go straight for the "child is not telling the truth."

Everyone's stories make themselves look better, because they're the star of their life. Not unusual. Not just a child's behaviour pattern. yet, people are always chomping at the bit to call someone else's child a liar.

It's just an interesting stance these pages take.

Oliversmumsarmy · 10/09/2019 17:42

If there was supposed to be homework and the class was given a worksheet why wouldn’t you think the work sheet was homework.

If the worksheet was for a lesson on another day why wouldnt the teacher hand them out on the relevant day.

Must admit it sounds confusing.

I can’t see the harm of completing the work sheet other than the teacher is one of those who just gives out worksheets to do in class whilst they sit back and do the crossword.

PinkCrayon · 10/09/2019 17:43

I think its harsh. Starting y7 is really daunting for most kids giving a child a detention for actually doing something makes no sense, agree with pp about it dampening his enthusiasm.
Telling him he should have listened would have done just fine.
I dont see the point in the teacher giving out the sheets before the day of the lesson anyway so the kids take it home, whats the point in that if they arent allowed to do it at home? May as well have just given it out on the day of the lesson.Confused

Haffdonga · 10/09/2019 17:47

WTF? Confused I don't think you sound like an idiot at all.

As an ex teacher myself I agree your ds is right to feel aggrieved and you should ask a polite question to the HoY about homework policy because there appears to be some confusion.

The advice given to dcs about how to do well and succeed in a new school is always to do homework straight away, prep for upcoming lessons etc etc. There is absolutely no way that the teacher should have punished your ds for doing this unless they had given explicit instructions not to write on the sheet and even then a brief verbal ticking off for not following instructions would seem proportionate.

What a pity to curb your ds's enthusiasm. I'd politely email in.

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 17:48

Chewbecca- honestly? I think, give them a week or so to get used to how the homework is instructed, give them a warning maybe, maybe take one minute to explain the importance of writing down Instructions and how it messes things up.
Not give them a detention, not really explain anything and leave the child confused and no clearer as to what to do in future. And demoralised

OP posts: