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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really annoyed with this teacher?

298 replies

tomboytown · 10/09/2019 16:29

Ds-first week of senior school.
Mon- supposed to have History homework
Mon- gets given a worksheet
Monday night- completes the worksheet

Tuesday-gets detention for completing the worksheet.

It’s his first week!
Punishing a child for actually doing more work than is necessary?!

OP posts:
SunshineAngel · 10/09/2019 19:51

A simple chat (perhaps via email) with the teacher is the best, and possibly only sensible, way forward.

During my own schooling teachers often gave detentions out for questionable reasons, often to show their authority early in the first term, I felt.

For some people - like myself - who had never misbehaved, getting a detention was a BIG deal. It honestly gutted me, as I'd never so much as got told off for something. My first detention was for missing some questions off my maths homework as I didn't realise there were questions on the back of the page. There were only a couple, which would have taken 5 mins, as most were on the front. I even said on the day I'd stay at break (which followed the lesson) and get them done, it was obvious I'd tried and put effort in and done it neatly etc, but she said no, it had to be an after school detention. That's stayed with me since I was 12, so unfair.

herculepoirot2 · 10/09/2019 19:52

I hope everyone saying he deserves the detention would accept some sort of disciplinary action in your workplace for making a minor admin error based on the fact you’d only been doing the job for less than a week?

Grow up. Adults aren’t children. The two aren’t comparable.

BlackeyedGruesome · 10/09/2019 19:53

Hmm. Some children are not able to listen and remember due to disability and need more support.

Clarify with the teacher/ school.

I am still pissed off that DD has a detention on her record due to the teacher giving the whole class a detention for the behaviour of a few.

herculepoirot2 · 10/09/2019 19:59

I am still pissed off that DD has a detention on her record due to the teacher giving the whole class a detention for the behaviour of a few.

Whole class detentions suck, but what “record”?

Nofunkingworriesmate · 10/09/2019 20:00

There is obviously another side to this story
I hope you put your son right about the teacher being told off
Learning curve for your son about listening

Tartsamazeballs · 10/09/2019 20:05

That would have really thrown me first week of secondary school. I still remember having a teacher crossing scrawled bright red lines through a carefully done page and writing RUBBISH- SEE ME, NONSENSE and SCIENTIFIC DIAGRAMS NOT DOODLES TRY HARDER in huge letters if you're reading then quite frankly fuck you Mrs Maloney . It set the tone for hating school that's for sure!

Malteserdiet · 10/09/2019 20:06

@herculepoirot2 I’m a fully fledged grown up thanks and, also due to being a grown up, I don’t feel the need to throw insults at people.
Meanwhile, I think the comparison is perfectly valid. The example given is of a structured punishment given for a minor misunderstanding due, in a large part, to being brand new at the “job”

tomboytown · 10/09/2019 20:07

This reply has been deleted

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MustShowDH · 10/09/2019 20:14

Honestly, it's 5 minutes.

It's over-reactions to things like this that gets their generation branded 'snowflakes'!

idril · 10/09/2019 20:16

For the people saying that he didn't listen and didn't follow instructions: if I've understood the OP correctly, there was no instruction because there was no homework.

The homework timetable (which in my experience is pointless) said there should be homework but the teacher didn't give any. Having not been to secondary school before and not knowing how these things work, the OP's son, thought that the sheet WAS the homework and that even though no instruction had been given to complete it, he should do it anyway because that was the safer thing to do.

@herculepoirot2 adults are not children but both children and adults are human beings and make mistakes when they are in new, stressful environments.

herculepoirot2 · 10/09/2019 20:18

adults are not children but both children and adults are human beings and make mistakes when they are in new, stressful environments.

But we are actively trying to teach children to minimise those mistakes by listening the first time.

LolaSmiles · 10/09/2019 20:19

Lola- you’re so incensed that you’re making stuff up now, what 2 members of staff?
I thought 2 homework issues were two members of staff.
Apologies if it's 2 homework issues with 1 teacher.

Either way, point remains that on 2 occasions he's either not written things down properly or hasn't followed instructions.

I'm not incensed at all. I'm just amused that you'd sooner speculate about whether a qualified teacher has ever taught year 7 than consider that your child is not listening. That sort of attitude (in my experience) is unsurprising of a student who a week or so into year 7 feels confident enough to tell his parent that his teacher was getting told off and it was probably because of a detention he was given (see also further up the school students who claim they have got teachers sacked / parents who hound staff).

I've already said my chosen approach is to give a second chance. I just can't see the issue with the teacher here

LilQueenie · 10/09/2019 20:21

was there anything on the worksheet stating not to be done to see if they are paying attention to detail. Much like when they ask you to fill in a form in black ink to see who actually reads it all.

FuckFacePlatapus · 10/09/2019 20:21

If he could not remember i would be inclined to think the detention was for not listening in class?

herculepoirot2 · 10/09/2019 20:21

I’m a fully fledged grown up thanks and, also due to being a grown up, I don’t feel the need to throw insults at people.
Meanwhile, I think the comparison is perfectly valid. The example given is of a structured punishment given for a minor misunderstanding due, in a large part, to being brand new at the “job

I don’t. Adults are expected to be able to listen to the important instructions. If I cocked up something important in my first week at work, yes, I would expect to be disciplined. Homework is the equivalent thing for a child - important, not “admin”.

WyfOfBathe · 10/09/2019 20:22

Secondary school teacher here.

When I was training, a more senior teacher told me "don't smile until Christmas", i.e. start the year by being strict. A lot of teachers do want to lay down the law with the new year 7s so that they learn how secondary school works. There are definitely advantages to this approach, but I can see how a teacher following this too closely could end up giving a detention for a mistake which doesn't really need punishing.

If I were you, I'd let it go. Tell DS that there was obviously a misunderstanding (he misunderstood the instructions and/or the teacher misunderstood his intentions). If you do want to take it up with the teacher, send a polite email via the office asking for clarification of what happened.

The instruction will have been given, repeated, checked with questioning, reiterated, written down, sent via smoke signals.
Not necessarily. If I set a sheet as homework, I don't generally specify if the answers go on the sheet (stuck in the book) or in the book. Because I honestly don't mind where they write the answers as long as the work gets done! I can see how a nervous Year 7 could worry about if they were writing in the write place, though.

And to whomever said teachers don't get told off in front of pupils - you've obviously had better luck with SLT than I have!

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 20:23

It was just maybes

OP posts:
Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 20:26

Omg- there wasn’t any instruction to listen to because there wasn’t any homework

There was supposed to be homework
A worksheet was given out
He competed the worksheet

OP posts:
Fizzysours · 10/09/2019 20:26

5 mins is not a detention. Stop encouraging your child to whinge and start encouraging him to listen.

Original poster
tomboytown · 10/09/2019 20:27

The teacher called it a detention

OP posts:
Popfan · 10/09/2019 20:30

Poor lad. Mines just started Y7 and it's a massive step. I'd definitely email in to get to the bottom of what happened.

Cohle · 10/09/2019 20:30

But if only a couple of kids made the error then clearly the rest found the instructions clear enough.

I think you need to be a little more accepting of the fact that your DS wasn't paying sufficient attention.

Binglebong · 10/09/2019 20:30

A lot of schools now have rules where if you get a sanction - detention, black mark, whatever- it goes on your record and can have consequences. A PP mentioned her daughter not bring eligible for something because of an early detention. So it may not be "just 5 minutes".

I feel for you DS. Injustice suck and it is a bad way to start a new school. Other people can recommend the best way to go about it but please do follow this up.

Fizzysours · 10/09/2019 20:31

It. Was. Five. Minutes...sighs... OP just get a little perspective here please!!! Tell him to LISTEN next time. School is trying to prepare him for life.

Fizzysours · 10/09/2019 20:32

And good luck 'following this up'- teachers need to have the authority to control classes. You try controlling 30 year 7's OP... you would soon realise why behaviour systems are in place.