To think we don’t need partners staying overnight in the post natal ward

[Mammylamb]

If on a shared ward it would have been my idea of a nightmare. The lack of privacy. A midwife bursting in when my boobs were out. Someone pushing against the curtain when I was getting my catheter removed. It was horrible enough when there were other women about. Never mind any random men

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8981244/mum-debate-dads-stay-overnight-maternity-wards/?utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=fabulousfacebook080919&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1567937417

@AhNowTed public hospital, no choice its get what your given. If you want a single room here you need private health cover which is too expensive for most.
My pregnancy was discovered at 27 weeks so we didnt have planning time or saving time. We had 13 weeks to get EVERYTHING plus coming to terms with im having a baby.

@squeekums I understand that.

But can you not see that the majority of women having given birth, and as I've said previously are feeding, experiencing massive blood clots, incontinence, uncontrolled wee and shit, really don't want a gaggle of men in the maternity ward.

I have a lot of sympathy for women with post-natal problems, but the maternity ward is for women and babies to recover in some privacy and dignity.

Your DP is welcome in the day, but in the evening we'd like a bit of privacy if you don't mind.

Squeekums and that is exactly how the majority of woman here feel about having men on the ward at night. That they want to walk out. That having strange men there in a dark room was stirring up their fears and making them hysterical.

Is there NO sacred place left for women to just be without some bloke shoving himself in??!

Can someone point me to where I have said men must be allowed? I havent.
I get why women don't like it, I was just explaining why some need it and instead of someone's dp, they can have a female friend stay, that's the solution I had to use and even then I was home next day after the hospital counsellor told the midwives to discharge me as I was mentally getting worse just being there.
Every single woman should have the choice of having someone stay with them, that does not have be the partner though

“Some bloke shoving himself in”

And there we have it. The ridiculousness that is taking over MN

I’m guessing she meant new fathers not keen on leaving their loved ones after a traumatic experience, in pain and scared without adequate care.

The bastards.🙄

“I’m guessing she meant new fathers not keen on leaving their loved ones after a traumatic experience, in pain and scared without adequate care.”

Surely the issue is the lack of adequate care? I can quite see why fathers would want to stay-particularly in those circumstances. But you really seem to be completely ignoring the women for whom the presence of men they don’t know would make their experience even worse. Where do they fit?

I would have loved my DH to stay overnight but only because the night staff refused to do any work whatsoever. They sat at reception chatting, ward wasn’t busy, one of them could have sat with me if only for 5 minutes. I couldn’t wait to get out.

So now tte local hospital allows men in overnight to do the nurses’ work. My local hospital covers a rough area and is outspoken about the number of knife crime victims they treat every week. I just don’t want to think about the kind of men some of the new dads on the wards are.

But the same men are there all day. For women who turn up at night on wards the day is often night. Men don’t morph into monsters st the stroke of midnight.

And women can pose all sorts of threats for all sorts of reasons. 50% of the population is not crime free.

@MintChocAddict 👏🏻

Thank you for express my thoughts more eloquently than I could

It's not just about crime though is it? Although that is part of it.

It's also about having some space and privacy.

Although actually on the crime issue, the women who will suffer most from this are the ones in very abusive relationships. What a gift to a controlling partner, the ability to be there by her side all day and all night, even when she is a patient in hospital.

It’s not a matter of them posing a threat. It’s a matter of privacy and dignity. It is completely irrelevant that women commit crimes too!

So the entire population misses out because of a few.
Fathers being banned would see a rise in PND and quite probably a rise in quite serious health incidents for mothers and babies.

Has anyone talked about banning fathers?

This is about fathers staying overnight. Incidentally, why do you think it’s “a few”?

Is there any evidence that outcomes for mothers and babies have got better since this started happening?

Women not having the father of their baby with them for mental and physical support when needed is an infringement of basic dignity.

How often does it get reported?

You are often too scared to say my baby was at risk because nobody was there. How do you prove it? So I doubt very much that data would support anything.

“Women not having the father of their baby with them for mental and physical support when needed is an infringement of basic dignity.”

No it isn’t. Women having no privacy is.

If I hadn't had my partner there I would have discharged myself and my baby. I wouldn't have been able to cope, I was all over the place. He was a godsend that first night.
Well done for making those who needed their partner there feel like a failure though, bravo

Fathers being banned would see a rise in PND and quite probably a rise in quite serious health incidents for mothers and babies.

Nonsense. Can you substantiate any of the claims you've made on this thread?

I don't think male partners should be allowed to stay the night. Ones valued husband won't be valued by another women. Plus, if there is abuse by the man in the relationship, this is an opportunity for the woman to get away from her partner.

“Well done for making those who needed their partner there feel like a failure though, bravo”

You needed support and help. There isn’t enough of that. We need to do something about that. But not something that makes things worse for other women.

I don’t know how our parents survived without their partners .