To think we don’t need partners staying overnight in the post natal ward

[Mammylamb]

If on a shared ward it would have been my idea of a nightmare. The lack of privacy. A midwife bursting in when my boobs were out. Someone pushing against the curtain when I was getting my catheter removed. It was horrible enough when there were other women about. Never mind any random men

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8981244/mum-debate-dads-stay-overnight-maternity-wards/?utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=fabulousfacebook080919&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1567937417

@Lumene

What about the other women on the maternity ward?

It's very flippant of you to say your DP wouldn't care or even notice.

It's a maternity ward after all.

I think needing privacy and safety around stranger men is very much understandable

But I feel the attitude of many on this thread towards fathers and men is quite honestly appalling. And your past experiences don’t entitle you to put all men in one box.

AhNowTed...can I tell you what my husband would do...he would be respectful of everyone else in the ward and he would help them where appropriate (e.g. getting their meals). Would yours not act in the same way?

Who said anything about my DP or even that I had a DP?!?

My point is that it’s unfair to say that a ‘decent man’ wouldn’t enter a maternity ward for fear of offending someone. When you are fearing for your partner and child’s life and want to be there and take care of them that’s being genuinely decent.

@BunsyGirl

Mine wouldn't be overnight on the maternity ward out of respect for the other new mothers, who are breastfeeding, passing massive blood clots and suffering with incontinence and god knows what else.

If your husband would abandon your new family in the circumstances Bunsygirl has described then I feel very sad for you, and he is not a decent man by my definitions.

@MintChocAddict

You clearly cannot read. I was left to wake up from general anesthetic and hold my DC for the first time in a corridor. While everyone is buzzing past. If you think that's funny then honestly, fuck you.

AhNowTed ...I had all of those too but, do you know what, I also had them during the day, not just at night!

So I presume your argument is to ban men full stop from the ward?

vanillaicedtea
honestly don’t bother.

Can think of nothing worse. Give birth then find basically a bedroom cluttered with folks partners all night.

Thank you @JealousOrFair.

manicmij...actually I can think of something worse...being terrified that I was going to drop my baby in the middle of the night due to not sleeping for five days and not having fully recovered from HELLP syndrome (Google it if you don’t know what it is)...absolute torture...

@BunsyGirl

No, but I'd be looking forward to the evening when I'm in the company of other mothers who are also experiencing blood stained nighties and urine and worse running down their legs.

Regardless of how nice and helpful the husbands might be.

Fuck you right back Vanilla

Your posts on here have honestly smacked of me,me,me throughout this thread. I'm sorry you had a difficult time but your lack of empathy for other women's needs is astonishing.

I said earlier in the thread that this thread isn't a competition about who had the hardest time (there's nothing more tedious than listening to that), but you've forced my hand with your self obsessed posts so here goes with one of my birth stories.

I didn't actually hold one of my DCs for 3 days, didn't know if he was brain damaged and didn't set eyes on him for a number of hours post birth. So far, so sad but it happens and yes the post natal care was poor but all I have is gratitude that there was a live baby at the end of it all.

I'm sure waking up in a corridor holding your baby was a shock for you and for that I'm very sorry, however you were holding your baby, many of us didn't have that option. You lived to tell the tale. Women elsewhere often don't have that option, so maybe look outward instead of inward.

Anyway back to me since we're reminiscing. Despite the difficult start with that birth and significant stay in hospital, I was still mindful of the needs of others around me in the ward and how my demands and needs might affect others.

It's called considering those around you. You should grow up and try it some time.

@MintChocAddict agree.

I'll say it again. Yes there have been some exceptional cases on here, truly dreadful. You have my sympathy.

But your cases don't make the argument for men in general to be allowed to stay overnight on public maternity wards.

Can you not see that?

We're taking about the NHS, free at the point of need maternity healthcare, which isn't built or funded for your want to have your DH stay over, to the detriment of other mothers privacy and comfort.

If you need or want that, then you need to pay for a private room, and let the rest of us get on enjoying some privacy and maternal support.

And I don't give a fig how nice or helpful your partner is. He's not welcome.

The first time I gave birth, they gave me my own en-suite room and about 20 other woman had them too.. if I was in a shared room, I wouldn't have had dh stay nor would he want too, I was prepared to pay for an en-suite if it came to it

Second time, diff hospital, I paid. If you want a luxury then you have to pay for it.

A shared post natal ward really isn't a Sleepover club

@MNHQ

Report @queenjr post

I can understand not wanting men there BUT
for me, if i didnt have SOMEONE i was gunna walk out, that simple.
Hospital stirred up my phobias and fears beyond being able to be calmed.
I was told dp couldnt stay and i flipped, was hysterical, in the end they had to allow a friend (female) to stay and put me in a single room they managed to wrangle or they knew i would discharge myself and dd mere hours after birth.

@squeekums

So surely, knowing your fears and needing DP there you would have booked a single room.