To think we don’t need partners staying overnight in the post natal ward

[Mammylamb]

If on a shared ward it would have been my idea of a nightmare. The lack of privacy. A midwife bursting in when my boobs were out. Someone pushing against the curtain when I was getting my catheter removed. It was horrible enough when there were other women about. Never mind any random men

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8981244/mum-debate-dads-stay-overnight-maternity-wards/?utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=fabulousfacebook080919&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1567937417

Its only well known amongst handmaidens.

I think if you have a private room they should have the option to stay. But on a shared ward there isn’t enough space or privacy. I was kept in a few days before baby born and couldn’t sleep from a man in next cubicle snoring all night!

Wtf has this got to do with transphobia?

It’s the best way to dismiss women’s rational fears these days isn’t it?

It has nothing to do with transphobia, but dick panderers do like to try and crowbar in their pet topics at every opportunity. Logic be damned.

Transphobic hilarious . Woman who don’t want to share a room with 4 strange unscreened men are transphobic . I have heard it all now stupidest comment i have ever read on here and that’s saying something

But it’s all very well to dismiss fears of women who know full well by experience that dads are much needed. 😂

I’m on the fence. I was so poorly when I had my baby that I would have given anything to have dp with me, instead he was sent home only to be called back. I think if the mom is coping with getting up/down, can tend to baby when needed it’s not necessary however most c-section patients, moms who have torn etc need help, a lot in some cases and I don’t think dads should be refused. I do however think where possible all post natal ladies should be in a single room. Also why should dads not be allowed to get those precious first moments with mom and baby, as long as they weren’t making too much noise I don’t think I’d really care

What has the trans issue to do with this

Men can’t have babies only women can

Wanting certain spaces for women only is not transphobic it’s male entitlement that makes some males feel that should be able to intrude in these spaces regardless of how women feel

What is needed is support

This can and should be provided by professionals

That we want it to be our loved ones is a separate issue as our loved ones are our family we know them others don’t they are just strangers on the wards

I’m still waiting to hear what this has got to do with transphobia?

Trans men can have babies and the NHS refer to them as men. If they then word their policies accordingly things can get confusing quite fast.

Oh the rash of transphobic men hating threads featuring the same posters you see on here these days.

The men hating normally manages to encompass some transphobia too at some point.

Transphobic man hating? I thought transwomen were women, no?

Barbarian I guess the wording is only the patient can stay the night . In that case the trans man is the patient . As not all partners are men so doubt they say no men just no partners .

It's circumstance dependant. I had an undiagnosed complication post birth and wasn't able to care for my child. If my husband hadn't the foresight to recognise something was wrong and hadn't stayed I'd dread to think what could have happened. Once we'd diagnosed the issue and I was "back in the room" shall we say I sent him home for some much needed sleep.

I didn’t mind. My husband was there, most of the other women had a husband or partner there - we’ve all been through the same thing and the men have presumably seen it all. There was a massive curtain for when I wanted privacy. I can’t honestly say I gave a shit at the time.

Man hating now

Oh ok

How on earth has transphobic been shoe horned in?!

I mean you do know that those “men” who have given birth are biologically a woman right?

They have a uterus, Fallopian tubes, egg sacks, cervix, vagina and a vulva.

You can’t exactly push a baby out of a dick now can you

Not going to lie but shortly after delivery I did have a deep hatred for the species as a whole.

My DH stayed with me the night after DD was born, but it really was an exception because DD had been born premature and had been transferred to another hospital (I couldn't go as there wasn't a bed for me). It was more about needing to be together for emotional support. I was in a private room though.

When DD2 was born, also premature, he didn't stay and I didn't feel a need for him to. I was in a private room again but I could get myself down to SCBU to see her so I was perfectly ok on my own.

This is nothing to do with being man hating or transphobic.
This is about wanting as safe and dignified a space as possible when women are at their most vulnerable

Also I know I said egg sacks instead of ovaries cos I couldn’t remember the word

It depends on the circumstances really, if your baby was born poorly or you were very poorly yourself, you’d want your other half with you....
and the feedback that we get from women and their families is that they want open visiting and believe me, visitors are the BANE of ward life. They sit on the beds, they bring in smelly food, they shout, laugh loudly, let their children play with sharps bins/under the bed/up and down the corridor, bring loads of unnecessary crap with them, ring the outside doorbell constantly (not particularly helpful when you’re dealing with an emergency) and general cause a huge fuss. In one hospital I worked in it was a regular occurrence for visitors to actually turn up in their pyjamas, so we didn’t know who were the new mums and who were the visitors. Most complaints
Partners, husbands etc on the other hand are an absolute godsend for the most part and I think we should set our hospital wards up that would accommodate them much better.

Happy to share a ward with a trans man having a baby by the way. And with his partner during visiting hours.