To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

It’s a half hour lesson, spend it watching your child’s progress.

Actually, as many people keep pointing out, you don’t have to watch every 30 minutes of every single lesson to be encouraging and supportative for every child. To imply that you are a lazy/bad/neglectful parent because you don’t is just BU. Every situation is different!

We are not allowed to watch child in swim lesson as told parents can distract children. Parents are told to drop, help child get changed if necessary, then kids go out on poolside and parents have to wait outside and no seats provided. Most sit in their cars for 30 mins. We are permitted to watch last lesson in each block when kids try to gain new badge.

I’ve not read the whole thread but it’s a safeguarding issue more than anything. When I did my swim teacher training we were told not to allow phones poolside as people could be taking photos.

The tone of the message is a little holier than thou but I do agree with the sentiment tbh.

YANBU, the preachiness and intolerance on here is daft. So many of us have to juggle and use every spare second they can to keep on top of things - like some others, I leave work early some days to bring my children to activities but need to be slightly 'on call' via email or whatever. I can get this done while they and their teacher should be focussed on their lesson, making me free to fully engage with my kids when they are free to fully engage with me. If anyone has a problem with that, they should mind their own business and focus on the flaws in their own parenting.

The tone of the message is a little holier than thou but I do agree with the sentiment tbh.

The tone of the message is a big issue, though. It gets people's backs up, and they're less likely to comply. Whereas if they just said, "we've reviewed safeguarding, no more electronics at poolside," there might still be a little grumbling, but people are much more likely to comply. There's no judgement in a straightforward message.

And again, if it's a safeguarding issue they need to say that. They haven't, which suggests that isn't the reasoning.

If it is, it's extraordinarily idiotic of them to dress it up in such a divisive and potentially offensive message. Especially as parenting is not within their remit and safeguarding is, so even some people who don't find it objectionable might still see it as irrelevant.

Perhaps you should give the swimming teacher permission to focus on teaching the children to swim, and step out of the hectic time she has given herself by wondering why the parents aren't all staring at the pool for the full duration of the lesson.

I think perhaps FB wasn’t the best Forum for this . Additionally if you don’t have any other response apart from a heart or a thumbs up it doesn’t seem at all fair . It’s one thing to ignore a child in a play gym or a playground and I’ve seen this all too often and hate it - but a poolside ?

Should have read poolside supervised lesson .

It gets people's backs up, and they're less likely to comply.

This. I comply with all the safeguarding rules and regulations at DD's school or work, even if I might grumble about it.
Making memories? Good luck with that ever being a good argument for anything .

But then again DD doesn't even do private swim lessons so I guess I'm totally failing at this parenting malarkey.

It's a half hour lesson, spend it watching your child's progress

This type of statement just makes me feel slightly nauseous. I really can't abide the 'best mummy in the world' types. We are all flawed, none of us are perfect we do what we need to do to keep sane and our heads above water. Simpering in amazement at the pool side every time your lo does 'big arms' really isn't most people's style.

I've taken dd to swimming today. Spent the half hour reading The Testaments and very enjoyable it was too. Spent last five minutes watching her jump in (the only time she would notice me watching). Job's a good'un.

I would reply with a similarly patronising email about the fact that you are lucky enough to be able to pay for your child to learn a valuable life skill, but feel it's a bit inappropriate of a professional to tap into, "mum guilt" in what is already a thankless and challenging job. Having a chat with other parents, and checking an email is hardly the basis of creating trauma and that children need to learn the importance of self achievement and self approval, which hopefully will help them to not grow into patronising, judgemental and attention seeking adults in the future.

I mean you could say this, they might find your email as bizarre as theirs was, driving home the point to literally mind their damn business.

Imagineallthesheeple 🙌

At our pool phones aren't allowed for safeguarding reasons. I read a book. If I was watching my kids all the time they'd be distracted. I worked in local authority leisure in a council for a while and anyone trying to make statements like this would have been laughed out of town. Let the kids learn to swim, the teachers should be concentrating on that, not their own particular bugbears about parenting.

Sorry I had my children before the age of mobile phones. Now wherever I go I see mothers engaged with their phones not their children. Before mobile phones there were the mothers who only went to playgroup to gossip whilst their children wandered around aimlessly. One day your children will be swimming in Australia or backpacking the world they want want you to watch them😁 frankly amazed phones are allowed at children's swimming lessons.

“I don’t remember asking for permission to step away from my hectic day. I pay for DD/DS swimming lessons, not for a step away from my hectic day.”

Patronising bs. DD's pool doesn't allow phones near pool/viewing galleries for child protection, which I accept.