To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

Patronising arse wipe. How dare she dictate your time. I sit in the car and work whilst my kids play football. My workload is so big.

So unbearably sanctimonious. It is entirely up to you what you do with that half hour. And some actually kids focus better when they aren't aware their parents are watching. How does looking out of the pool for praise help the teacher keep them on task? It is so presumptuous of this person to act like they know you, your life, your kids or your relationship with them better than you do.

I would sit elsewhere and carry on doing whatever feels right for you.

I agree with the swimming teacher.

At every single lesson / practice/ game I’ve been to, 99.99% of parents are scrolling through social media and not sending a life or death work email.

There’s a reason she sent the message. It’s not going to kill anyone to put their phone away for 30 mins 🤷‍♀️

It's been 25 years since I had swimming lessons and I distinctly remember the pain of looking at the viewing gallery and seeing that my mum was looking the other way.

Oh no, wait, I don't.

I absolutely agree with the teacher, who wouldn’t want to watch their child gaining such an important life skill? Kids love it when they know mum’s watching and are more likely to try harder. Switch the phone off for 30 minutes!!

At every single lesson / practice/ game I’ve been to, 99.99% of parents are scrolling through social media and not sending a life or death work email

Yeah I would be scrolling through social media. That’s my work.

I think they've got a fucking cheek trying to dictate to and patronise their paying customers!

Ffs. Not only is this unbelievably patronising and sanctimonious but not everyone has the luxury of being able to switch off. Writing emails whilst they are occupied frees me up to spend time with my kids later and enables me to pay for their lessons. I’d be telling her how I felt in no uncertain terms and probably be looking for another swim school. Fair enough if it’s for safeguarding but if she’s demanding that you “pay attention”...,

I used to work for our local leisure trust and they actively encouraged parents to be active - by offering a short cheaper gym session or swim session that the parents can attend instead of watching. My son preferred me not to be poolside as it distracted him!

Pah!! I would be looking for another swimming instructor........

I had years and years of swimming lessons. My mum sat in the viewing gallery for all of them and I’ve no memory whatsoever if she was watching me or not.

YANBU op. They sound like sanctimonious dicks.

I wonder if you replaced your phone with a book would she still have a problem?

Quite often, I am doing on my phone what I could have done on another medium in a pre smartphone era. I often catch up on the News or read my Kindle app. I always point out to anyone who comments that a phone is just a medium and a newspaper or a book would be fine to them even though I am equally as disengaged

I am 50% watching my DCs swimming and 50% chatting to another mum or on my phone catching up on messages etc. This is fine. I don't take photos or hold my phone up in a way that might make it look like I am either. Don't be made to feel guilty.

Be in the moment??
They are learning to swim they don’t need cheered on ffs
God forbidden you leave while the darlings are in the pool!

YABU - it’s a perfectly acceptable email - it’s a safeguarding issue for all of the children in the pool - most pools that I know of don’t allow phones or anything else that could capture images to be used poolside. X

At my children’s lessons parents are asked not to distract children by talking or waving etc

The pool we use is quite big and the noise from the pool drowned (excuse the pun) noise from the gallery

To take a call you would have to leave as you probably would not hear the caller

Most people have other children doing homework and just keep an eye on the child doing the lesson and yes answered emails or texts

YABU - it’s a perfectly acceptable email - it’s a safeguarding issue for all of the children in the pool - most pools that I know of don’t allow phones or anything else that could capture images to be used poolside. X

But the email doesn't say anything about any of that, that's the whole point.

While I can kind of see some possible issues (no photo / video for safeguarding and no distractions from videos or games with sound) but for goodness sake - we are adults and paying customers, and often juggling many responsibilities in order to get children to their lessons! There’s no reason you shouldn’t check your emails if you want to.

YABU - it’s a perfectly acceptable email - it’s a safeguarding issue for all of the children in the pool - most pools that I know of don’t allow phones or anything else that could capture images to be used poolside

The email doesn’t mention that though. Surely a “following a review of our safeguarding policy we request that mobile phones are not used poolside” would be better?

YANBU. It simly isn't her place.

If it's a swimming lesson where they require parental participation in any capacity this should've been made clear before signing up. Assuming that hasn't been specified, she's being paid to teach the children to swim, not to advise you on how best to make memories. And it's evidently not about noise from calls, which I could understand, because she's specified no electronics per se, and being on your phone can be a completely silent thing.

As for safeguarding, there seems no sensible reason to assume that's what this is actually about. But if there is a safeguarding concern, they need to say so.

Thinking about it I went through a phase of using the time to have a swim myself. She would hate me!

I love this. I think the people finding it unreasonable are the ones who want to be on their phones when the little ones are swimming. Put your phones down. Pay attention to what’s happening and keep the focus on your children. If it’s that urgent then do what it says and step outside. It’s really not that difficult!

They obviously don’t have children of their own......

Put your phones down. Pay attention to what’s happening and keep the focus on your children.

They can barely see me and care less, what’s the point?

Clearing emails on my phone means that I’ve more time and energy to give them later.

There are people on here with no clue what it’s like to balance a demanding job while giving as much time as possible to your kids.

If I can use the dead time at swimming then I’m not going to let some sanctimonious idiots with no clue of what my life’s like stop me.

I find it patronising. Also, surely if you are helping another sibling with their homework at the poolside, you are not fully concentrating on your other child's lesson (assuming that they are old enough to have any and are able to do it whilst sat by a pool in any event). Your child should be focused on their swimming, as should the teacher. You should be able to glance up every few minutes and convey enough to be able to grasp any progress made by your child. Watching swimming lessons isn't the world's most scintillating activity, esp as kids get older.