To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

The fact that they mentioned phones/tablets being off or silent, as well as leaving the poolside if you do need to make a call, I wonder if the constant "ping" of messages, other kids watching YT videos, parents taking calls etc is disrupting/distracting to the students?

It comes across a little patronising but the general message is "get off your phones when you're poolside or at least be undisruptive" and I dont disagree with it in principle.

That is so patronising, it's cringe worthy. She gives you permission to delay writing a text or email. How very gracious of her. It's given me rage and I don't even have a phone or a kid in swimming lessons.

Eugh that is so annoying. The tone is so insta patronising! She's teaching your child to swim, not teaching you to parent!

Slightly counter to the threads posters but although the email may come across as patronising, think of it from the children's' perspective. I know from my own children (now in their 20s) that when they used to look up at me watching whilst they were in the pool doing their best - and if I was reading a book or chatting - they would get hurt that I wasn't watching fully or visibly encouraging them. Children are all different but it's easy to create the wrong sort of memories I guess.

I would tell them to fuck right off. What the fucks it got to do with them? I also use time my kids are at clubs to answer emails and check social media (as part of my job).

They would be getting an email from me!

I think it's wanky and I'd be tempted to spend the session loudly cheering my child on and jumping up and down just to be annoying.

Also a swimming lesson isn't a shared experience and I doubt anyone ever has said their favourite childhood memory was their parents cheering on the side and watching them as they did the backstroke

Pretty sure the instructor would rather have the kids concentrating on them rather than constantly looking over to their parent for praise.

They're reasonable to ask for phones to be silent or even ban phones from poolside for safeguarding reasons. Watching the whole of a half hour swimming lesson is tedious though, I tend to be doing something on tablet at glance up when it's my child's turn to swim. Other people's kids swimming is none of my business.
Also what age group? As they get older i've found they'd really rather be left to get on with it and tell me about it afterwards.

Parents attempting to encourage or interact with their DC from the sidelines could well be distracting for both instructor and the participating DCs.

How dull, that is NOT my idea of quality time. I guess we should also stand outside the classroom watching them too. Or would we be arrested?

If they are focused on the teacher and what they are doing then it doesn't really matter, or does it?

Someone has moaned. Someone always does.

But people are only at the poolside because there's nowhere else to wait. We are not expected to sit in our children's classes at school and watch them learn. Why is swimming different?

Normal parents support and give their attention for competitions and important things - a bog standard lesson is not one of them. No child needs to be stared at adoringly constantly.

I don't think anyone could have written a more unpleasant and patronising email if they've tried.

I thought phones weren't allowed beside the pools (not in our pool at least), the poolside is upstairs and I've seen the lifeguard ask few people to move upstairs (they have a view on the pool) and not sit with their phones beside the pool.

I think if they want a rule that says "please help us by watching your child", that makes a lot of sense, but they didn't quite say that!
If you're not required to be there in the first place and you're just helping yourself, I think calling for "bonding time" is nice but can't be enforced.

I can understand why, due to cameras being on phones, but she should have just got to the point. It's a bit patronising and accusing parents of being lazy when they don't know the full story (it could be unavoidable work emails).

“it's easy to create the wrong sort of memories”

Bleugh.

So patronising! We're not allowed phones at the poolside due to safeguarding but waiting siblings are allowed to use ipads. Could you go to a different swim school?

That email would drive me nuts.

I'd put away my phone and read my book instead.

That's just nonsense. Sitting watching swimming lessons is boring and pointless. Might as well do something productive with the time, I play candy crush.

YANBU, I'm annoyed on your behalf! What is the point in you staring at your kid all the time when they're supposed to be paying attention to the teacher? I'm surprised they allow phones at all, none of the pools here allow anything that might have a camera. I always used the time for a break, to read a book or do some lesson planning for work, like you say this frees you up to spend 'quality time' with your kids later.

At the last three pools I have attended, phones have not been allowed. Really surprised you are allowed them.

How can you create a closer (swimschool) community if you need to step outside to discuss any urgent matters? As obviously you are only supposed to sit in silent awe watching the instructors as they do the teaching/supervising the antics in the water.

Somedays, I used to being paperwork to complete, a book to read or some knitting I could get on with.

But lots of days, I was stuck on my phone getting on with work - cos, you know, not all of us are blessed with the ability to spend an hour (ok, 45 minutes) quietly sitting, after the trauma and panic of getting said child to class and changed on time (usually after fighting traffic to do so) and then turn around to go through the chaos of the changing room again and get said child showered and changed while they are starving and need food NOW while you still have to get home and cook it. And finish dealing with 4 different reports that night for work, write up the minutes of the Committee meeting associated with School that you agreed to join, respond to the 101 queries from parents in another activity outside of school that you used to love leading until you got the admin responsibility too, juggle appointments for DCs with various specialists, …...and try to keep DC and DH (and yourself) safely fed and clothed (hopefully in clean ones) and the house not falling down. ,.....

I'd be in the cafe - watching a kid try not to drown is insanely boring

I play Pokemon whilst mine are in lessons, I'd not be happy with being told to stop like a naughty school child!

I never used to stay poolside when my DD was at her swimming lessons. I used to go up the road to the nice Lebanese supermarket and get some shopping!