To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

That is absolutely ridiculous.

Having read all of this, I'm now deciding whether to say anything or not.

They specifically asked for feedback. I would reply with something simple and clear, e.g.

'If you wish to ban mobile phones from the poolside I think that is fine. I'm happy to sit in the cafe/car etc. I think it would have been better to ask politely, rather than ironically give permission.'

People can be this direct with one another on MN. I wish we could all do so in real life.

There was also a foyer with a vending machine - a relatively rare thing in those days at least anywhere I went regularly - my main memory of parental involvement in swimming lessons is that whichever parent took us would give us 20p for the vending machine afterwards, which was a massive treat!

Mint Poppets for 15p!

Later, at a new pool, parents ran the swimming club tuck shop in the foyer, and others ran the committee, so were involved with getting club fees and so on.

I used to find it bloody annoying when some parents would sit in the front row of seats then just sit glued to their phone, taking the good viewing seats from parents who did want to watch their kids swim.

However stopping for half an hour or so for a swimming lesson might be the first time some parents have sat down that day so they should be allowed to use their phones if they damn well want to!!! Just don't sit in the best seats please!

OP, die anyone at all from the close, loving swimming community (😏) reply or comment on the announcement? Let us know if there's a drastic drop-off in the numbers of watching parents on your next swimming day please!

Awful tone which would put my back up immediately.Perhaps you should switch the phone off, loudly shout encouragement at your child throughout the lesson and critique the teachers delivery.

Perhaps you should switch the phone off, loudly shout encouragement at your child throughout the lesson and critique the teachers delivery

Definatly start shouting out to the teacher when she's not looking at your child. Yell OH WELL DONE X! TEACHER did you see? they did XYZ! didn't they do well!? YAAY.

Bring pom poms to waves.
Maybe you and the other parents could come up with a encouraging chant to Gee up the DC. 2.4.6.8......who do we...........

Second row There have been a few comments, positive except for one that said how hard it was to keep her toddler busy without tablet. Also, an email saying that she'd had all positive feedback but heard "from other sources" that some had concerns.

I used to read and respond to emails during swimming lessons so then I could focus on quality time when I was actually, you know, spending time with my children. I don't sit there watching when they are at dancing, Cubs or indeed actual school and we all cope.

I wonder if it is aimed at distracting loud calls rather than silent emailing but even so, I would just be sitting outside from now on.

It’s a lecture on how to be a parent by someone who knows nothing about the lives of the people they are lecturing.
It would annoy me.
I don’t look at my phone when DS is having lessons but that’s my choice.

To be honest I'm amazed there are parents there watching at all. When I was having swimming lessons I assumed my parents were in the cafe. I neither knew nor cared where they were as long as they were waiting to towel me down after!

As for the note, the tone is deeply patronising, and as no one can dictate to you how you use your time on the poolside as long as you aren't doing anything disruptive, I would respectfully ignore it. I think your children will be able to bear not having your undivided attention for half an hour...

This would piss me right off. I watch my dd take her turn, and otherwise do the Tesco shop.

I see her point that you should be focussed on the children, but it really is none of her business, surely?

Stupid, I’d be finding elsewhere for lessons. When my children went to a small private pool for lessons, parents were encouraged to sit in the waiting room.They didn’t outright ban parents from the pool but didn’t encourage it either.

I would write back "that's funny, I thought you were teaching our children, not us"

YANBU. Very patronising.

It's effectively dead time, and just because youre answering an email or doing your online food shop doesn't mean you're not also keeping an eye on your DC and how they are getting on. If you're made to sit in the car then you won't see them at all now!

i wouldn’t imagine it’s anybody else’s business but yours how you spend your own time whilst paying for your child to be in another’s care...

Ideally, of course, in the fluffy bags-of-time-ideal-world every parent would cheerlead relentlessly at every opportunity, but the reality is that most of us spend our lives juggling work, kids and other commitments so whilst our children are happy and entertained we use the time to get admin done.

That email would wind me up too. V sanctimonious.

God the last thing I wanted when I taught swimming (many years ago) was parents poolside. Most children become incapable if their parents are there.

Not to mention the fact, with the price of bloody swimming lessons these days, as a parent I’d expect half an hour to myself.

Well done to them. I bet a lot of parents have been talking on their phones, not had them on silent, etc. so basically disturbing the children's swimming lesson. You wouldn't do this if it was a music class as it would be considered rude to interrupt the children playing so why is it acceptable for a swimming lesson.

Yes, I know they are supervised but you can bet your child looks to you when they achieve something - what sort of message is that sending them when they see you with your head down looking at your phone rather than what they're doing.

They only have one childhood. You won't get this chance again. make the most of it. The email, phone call, checking social media can wait ...

I'd be furious. F* that! This could be the only break you get, they wouldn't know your circumstances, so it's almost as if it's criticising your parenting.
People are so jumped up at other parents going on phones. Wonder if they'd say the same if you were reading a book....

I am not ashamed to admit that I bring a book to read during swimming lessons. After nearly 10 years of weekly lessons spent watching various swimming hats bob up and down for half an hour I think its unreasonable for swim schools to judge how parents spend their time. I understand the banning of phones with camera's etc but do they really expect us to stand poolside with glowing smiles in our best performance parenting mode?
We had one really irritating Mum at our previous lessons who literally cheered her kid on from the sidelines as if she were competing in the Olympics. It was totally over the top, extremely loud and highly disruptive - perhaps you would like to try this tactic at your next lesson and see what response you get!

Having say for many hours beside a pool whilst watching to learn to swim- I watched. But by the time dd was swimming 3/4 times a week I was reading or chatting to other parents. Tbh I didn’t use my phone poolside but wouldn’t have really been keen on someone else advising me what I could or couldn’t do.

Is there another area to sit in where you can get on with what you like?

If there is a problem with people talking loudly on their phones, the swimming teacher should have requested that people not talk on their phones. If there are safeguarding concerns regarding photography of other people's DC, the teacher should have reminded people that no photography is permitted during the lessons. Those are both not unreasonable concerns/requests.

But that overall email is smug, stupid wanking from someone who's bought into the idea that phones are a terrible scourge and ruin lives etc (despite the fact that they will undoubtedly have a phone of their own.)

What you should do, OP (and if you know the other parents, get them to join you) is bring along newspapers and magazines to the next lesson and ostentatiously read them by the poolside.

Patronising tossers. I take my laptop to swimming classes because I still have 90 mins of my working day to complete. So I do my weekly reports at the swimming pool. That aside I'd suggest that these judgemental folks aren't around to witness me and my kids the rest of the week so should back the fuck off.

I don’t think children do need our full undivided attention when they are having a swimming lesson. They should be concentrating on the teacher not constantly looking for approval from their parent/guardian as they could miss something. I would reply and say just that and also that you will, of course, avoid distractions by turning your phone to silent but continue to use it as you wish. I don’t see how she can stop you really - what’s she going to do keep you in after class!
If you take your child swimming yourself then they can show you what they have learnt and enjoy your undivided attention