To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

Maybe I am an evil mother but I am thrilled my swimming lesson / soft play days are over. Happy times but firmly in the past thank god.

haha - my boss will give me permission not to answer my work emails if you write nicely and ask him. Not...

If the issue is that phones aren't allowed and it's being disregarded, say that. Otherwise stop being patronising and get on teaching the kids to swim.

As a parent of teens I am really fucking glad that days of swimming lessons are years behind us and am happy to forget almost everything about them.
Mine are older than that and frankly I'm happy it's all over and i can go back to doing things that i like on my own time. Including spending time with my offspring when we feel like it.

When my boys had swimming lessons they always looked out for me and then had BIG smiles on their faces.
It`s called encouragement

Indeed and it’s important one does so when your kid is doing something.

There really is only so much encouragement one can give when they’re holding onto the side waiting their turn.

Where my son went (at a school) there was nowhere "poolsode" for parents to be unless they had volunteered to help and were on "spotting" duty - in which case theyd be watching everyone not just their kid.

Kuga - that’s called patronising😂😂

I would comment ‘thanks for your permission - didn’t realise I needed it (lighthearted smiley emoji)! But sending emails is far more interesting than watching your swimming lessons (and it means that I have more time to sow deity my child later on when he’s busy). I’m good as it is, but thank you sooo much for your permission - you’re so nice!’

*spend with my child when he’s not busy

@KUGA but isn’t that bad for them? Surely children need to learn to be self motivators. I didn’t develop self confidence and self drive through encouragement. It’s one thing for really little children (I’m not sure how old yours are) but after five or so children really need to learn independence.

Good on the swim school.

Why can you only encourage and celebrate your child’s achievements by the poolside? Why are people so devoid of imagination and common sense these days?! What KUGA is describing isn’t encouragement it’s distraction and is doing your child absolutely no favours. Whilst they’re beaming up at you, they’re not listening to the teacher.

We’re not allowed to watch DDs swimming lessons. There’s not even a viewing gallery and frankly, if I had a choice I wouldn’t choose to watch. What we do though is talk about it on the way home. She gets to tell me all about it because sometimes it’s nice for them to be able to to tell you about something rather than not seeing the point because you were there for their every move, I tell her how proud of her I am and talk about what she feels she needs to work on. The. We go for hot chocolate, talk some more and move on with our day. People an fuck off with their enforced #makingmemories bullshit.

They were 3 and 4 at the time.
They are in their 30`s now.

I think the swim teacher should get on with teaching the children. There were no mobiles in my day, but I sometimes took a book. It didn't make me a bad Mum [I think], just gave me a glorious bit of me-time. This post would make me livid and I would remind her she is paid to teach swimming and it is none of her business. As has been said, 'patronizing crap'.

isabellerossignol spot on.

Mine are teens, and there are somethings I wished I'd dine differently or had more time for.

But FGS plastering a smile on my face and and gazing lovingly for 1/2 hour in sticky humid seating area, with no other thought in my head other then, he might look at me at any moment I must be prepared, is certainly not one I would do.

They were 3 and 4 at the time,also the teacher encouraged parents to encourage dc`s.
I was over 30years ago time were different then tbf.

Having read all of this, I'm now deciding whether to say anything or not. I'm kind of thinking not, but still feel hacked off at the assumptions I feel are being made about parenting based on what I do during half an hour when my child is occupied.

I kind of feel that the teacher has over estimated her role and indeed the importance of swimming. I think it's important enough to learn it, and learn it well with a good teacher. I don't think I am particularly part of a community, even though I enjoy a chat with a couple of the other mums, and I certainly don't need parenting advice.

All the same, I think it might be better all round to breathe through the pain and let her carry on believing she's got it all right.

I can't bear that smug message. But my top tip for watching swimming is podcasts. My kids can swim better than I can so when they go to the pool for fun or do squad training, I put in my air pods but still watch them.

She obviously doesn't have kids herself

For me, my child should be focusing on the teacher not me.... I think it's a fair point about devices being on silent so the pings/rings are not distracting but my child gets encouragement after the lesson. If she's constantly looking at me she's not focussing on swimming but maybe that's just me.

You should come to our swimming lessons OP!
The teacher has said she does NOT want the children distracted by parents and siblings poolside. The children don't listen and end up watching the parent or trying to show off rather than listen to the teacher.

Amen to that! We stick the kettle on and us parents have a chat (and reply to emails/texts when necessary). I've made some lovely swim mum friends over the years .

I teach. Really annoyed that none of you useless women come and encourage your children from the sidelines. Lessons would be so much easier if we had parents yoo-hoo darling-ing from the edge of the classroom and cheering loudly when they get an answer right. You could poke me at the same time to make sure I was picking your child to hand out the exercise books. And bring snacks for their snack emergencies perhaps?

Seriously - teachers don’t need an audience. That’s what competitions/ displays/concerts/open evenings are for.

The swim teacher is odd.

I loved swim lessons for my kid! I sat by the pool or outside and chatted, read or caught up on work. DD on the other hand spent the gaps when the teacher was helping others chatting and having fun. And we did this for 8 years (well, obviously the first couple her dad was in the pool with her for the lesson), so ... 6 years.

She is the type who gets totally embarrassed when either I or her dad ‘encourage’ her. It becomes a distraction for her and does not add to the fun. In fact, just makes it excruciating for her. (We cheer on her footie team, but leave her To it for individual pursuits such as music, art and other lessons)

Having a chat with DD after the lesson about what she learned, what she wants to focus on was all that was necessary to keep encouraging her.

I get it if there are phones going off and very loud conversations happening that are disturbing the lesson. Otherwise, this is a weird request and really has an odd tone.

I have not come across other lessons where parents are asked to ‘encourage’ during a lesson. Just the regular glance over to make sure they are safe is surely all that a parent should do.

Unless your DC needs that attention to flourish, and each child is different, then by all means do whatever is needed.

Definitely think you have the right attitude OP. But I wouldn’t let the teacher think she has it right though. She will perpetuate it otherwise.

I have zero memory of my own parents even being at swimming lessons. They were great parents and I turned out fine

Things must have been different in the late '80s to the '70s and early 80s too KUGA - I certainly have no memory of either of my parents watching my swimming lessons, let alone making eye contact! I remember the pool was big, also used for swimming galas, and had a big viewing gallery, but you couldn't see who was there from the pool. I don't even know whether whoever took us sat there or in the foyer or went elsewhere.

Sometimes we car pooled with another family, so then obviously some children's parents weren't there.

There was also a foyer with a vending machine - a relatively rare thing in those days at least anywhere I went regularly - my main memory of parental involvement in swimming lessons is that whichever parent took us would give us 20p for the vending machine afterwards, which was a massive treat!

YANBU. Its not the children whose parents take them to swimming lessons we need to worry about.

The message is patronising and children need to learn that they are not constantly the centre of attention. I was a sporty child and to be any good at sport, you need to learn how to focus and keep your attention, and not look for constant parental approval. I would have hated to have been constantly monitored by my parents - thankfully, they had the sense not to.

I also hate the notion that mothers aren't somehow allowed to have off time to chill when their children are busy, but they must be under an obligation to give their children their constant focus.

FredaFrogspawn oh god don’t give people ideas! You’ve read some of the parents’ complaints about teachers and you know it doesn’t take much. 🤣