To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

Scrumymum - I swam for three TIL I was fifteen. Parents either dropped and ran, or sat reading novels.

I am not emotionally scared by my parents not cheering my every head duck or water tread. To be honest it was the teachers attention and praise I wanted - it had value. Parents praise and attention was there for the stuff they taught me.

If the kids are Costa fly looking at their parents rather than the teacher, the the teacher needs to adjust his/her teaching style.

When my nephew had swimming lessons I took him and swam laps in the next pool. I don’t think he was scared by this - he is a excellent swimmer now and and is on the county team.

Should have said I swam between the ages of three and fifteen

Patronising in the tone and wording but they are encouraging you to engage with your child’s achievements and progress.
As a parent of teens I wish I could go back and watch all those lessons again. They aren’t exciting but they are more special than you realise right now.
Try leaving the phone in the car for two sessions and see how you feel after those two weeks. You might enjoy it more than you know and your DC might enjoy it more than you realise.

At my sons lessons, we are in a side room which is oddly shaped and looks onto the pool, but only if you are at the right angle which is basically in the front row in the middle. Also, we are sat too far away to shout encouragement and actually, the teacher says to them they should be concentrating on what they are doing and not looking for mums attention. I look at my phone a few times during the lesson but I also watch my son to see his progress.
If you are glued to your phone and the kids can see that from where they are, I can see how it won’t be particularly encouraging.

Ohh the cherish every moment brigade are out. Fun times.

You do you. If you wanna gaze adoringly at your kid every single minute that's up to you. Some people don't,and they don't have to because you or some wanky swimming teacher says so.

I don’t think you should have phones on poolside for safeguarding reasons. They’re not allowed poolside at any pool I have been to.

I don’t think the instructor was hugely unreasonable. Swimming lessons are like half an hour, you can live without your phone for that long. Take a book if it’s boring.

I find it quite sad that it's caused such negative reactions! The teacher is obviously trying to be polite without just plainly saying put your phone's away. However you take it her intentions are good.

If it was the other way around and your child sat on their iPad or phone for 45mins you would be saying 'do something constructive' or rolling your eyes at how you can't peel them away from their phones. Yes it's boring and yes there's a million other things you could or want to be doing but kids do pick up on the fact that your not present. I think sitting outside is a far better option than staring at your phone.

Okay - I am going to have a strong word with my 70 year old mother for reading Jackie Collins while I performed aquatic wonders. She didn’t even watch me in gymnastics, or judo, or piano lessons, or brownies. She missed out on all those special special moments.

I suspect she will tell me where to go😂

My DC's swimming lesson provider (or it may be the gym or both) has a strict policy forbidding mobile phone use at the poolside, citing camera/recording capacity. They request that if it's imperative parents use phones they remove themselves from the poolside until the call/text/message is completed. This is enforced, with lifeguards speaking to any parent they see flouting this request.

I have no problem in principle with this. But all that fluff about 'involving' parents in their child's activity, or cutesy-wootsy family time, or even worse, 'we want you to RELAX!' (cf. similar fluff in adult-only wedding invitations) is strictly unnecessary, patronising and annoying. Can't people make simple requests these days without all this fudging and hedging, which in any case people can see through in a nanosecond?

Ban fluff!

That wording is patronising & preachy. You aren't interacting with your children , she is. I can't see it matters what you're doing. If it was a swim gala or competition then that's different. Parents aren't allowed into dance & tap lessons usually either , so I suspect most parents will now decamp to their cars etc.

God, I’d be tempted to sit right at the edge of the pool at the next lesson, yelling hearty enthusiasm and asking a million questions of the swimming teacher.

“Woo-hoo, you’re amazing darling, it’s so splashy and wet and fun - fabulous strokes sweetheart, super breathing. What do you think coach, how’s he’s doing, what should we work on for next week, aren’t you cold in there all day? How often do you take a loo break?”

On and on and on.

I can't even tell which soggy short-haired, bare torsoed child is mine!

Council pool. Younger swimmers in a training pool, parents a few metres away behind a window. Older swimmers in the main pool, parents up the tiered seating.

Swimming night is tough. The drive to a decent pool is a pain. The lessons are badly spaced so we are out for 3+ hours. I get overloaded by the humid heat and echo then there's the hassle of getting very distractable children changed. This is all after I've spent 2 hours earlier in the day supporting school swimming. (DS does seem to genuinely appreciate that).

The 30 minute blocks of gawping at MN, fb and pokemon keep me sane. I'm not even going to pretend I'm doing something worthy, and respect to the parents that do. The quality time bit is the 30 mins of a public session getting splashed around by my kids, and taking them off to fun sessions in the holidays and weekends. Ask my kids what they enjoy about swimming and they'll talk about the pool with the flumes and wave machines. They're not the type to need constant adulation. If there is something praise-worthy, I'll tell them "well done for..." and they know it's sincere and well earned.

No phones for safeguarding, fine. That schmaltzy, patronising drivel, really? You absolutely can't judge a parent's attention to their offspring based on how they entertain themselves in a swimming lesson. I volunteer regularly at the junior parkrun, so it runs. I became a volunteer at Scouting when they were short so they could keep running. I'm very happy to let the "professional" swimming teacher get on with their job. If I thought there was any chance that I could get a better outcome by being more involved, I'd have saved myself ££££s over the years by teaching them to not-drown-inelegantly myself!

My rebellious streak would want to give the teacher what they want with a nice dose of channelling "Competitive Dad" (Fast Show) "Well done Toby!" "Faster Toby! Beat him!)

There wasn't such a thing as smart phones when my DC had swimming lessons- but I definitely sat there with a book or magazine, and just looking up occasionally. Same as the cricket, football and tennis lessons.

I can see there is a Safeguarding issue around smart phones at the pool side but that aside the email is really patronising- the emailer is paid to teach the children not judge their parents.

I totally agree with the swimming teacher , lessons are what 30 minutes.

^I agree.

However you take it her intentions are good.

This defence is used a lot for people who imagine they have the right to tell others what to do over very petty shit. I don't think their intentions are good.

I think people who are this rude and presumptive are doing it because they feel that their views are more important than anyone else. It simple doesn't occur to them that others might disagree because other people are just talking furniture to them.

I find it quite sad that it's caused such negative reactions!

I don't. It gives me faith in humanity. I think the morally correct thing to do it to shoot these little napoleons down in flames.

The teacher is obviously trying to be polite without just plainly saying put your phone's away.

Fuck me. What do you think would qualify as being rude?

The day I realised I didn't need to stay at football training was a GOOD DAY. I can now use that time to go for a run. I am a single parent, working full time.

I don't need to watch him training. I go to all his matches of course and my son knows I am completely committed to his training. He also knows that I love (and need) to run, and that's important, too.

I agree with the swimming teacher 🤷‍♀️

I can imagine parents hiding their phones inside an open book, will the swimming teacher be marching parents caught on their phones outside?

YANBU, it’s patronising as fuck.

I give you permission to teach my child by way of payment for you to do so. I invite you to fuck the fuck off.

Watching your child learn to swim is extremely boring after a couple of weeks and watching other people's children having their turn is worse. Not my idea of 'making memories'.

Annoying message. I find the 30 min slot useful to email a bit and reply to texts, but make sure to watch when dd has her turn and give her a thumbs up if she's given praise etc. So I don't like to totally switch off her lesson (she'll ask me later if i saw her do x), but would be annoyed to be told i have țo sit quietly watching other people's children take their turns! Butt out swim school, a friendly reminder to try and watch your own child might be welcome but beyond that it's ridiculous.

She should stick to her job.

I wouldn’t reply to the text and bring a magazine to the next lesson.

Oh fuck off. What a patronising email. When a child is having lessons they are with their instructor and other children often a reasonable distance away. It's not a moment for child parent bonding ffs.

They are acting like none of the parents spend any time with their child and this is the only opportunity they get for quality time!

And this is not for them to dictate. I would understand a no phone calls rule if that was distracting to the teaching but this is beyond unreasonable. Why does everyone and their fucking maiden aunt get to dictate how people parent their children these days.

It's patronising and way overstepping.

You are paying them to provide the swimming lessons. They don't get to dictate how you parent just because they are teaching your child a bit of front crawl for 30 mins a week!

In my day, pre people having smart phones, most parents either chatted to other parents or read a book so this is not a technology issue.

I'm another who is quite surprised phones are allowed poolside, as they've not been at most pools I've been to.

When I used to teach swimming - it's not quality time with their parents. I don’t want them distracted by their parents. I want them to be having quality time with me, focussing on what I am saying and then kicking with the whole leg, not from the knee, or turning their head to the side to breathe, or whatever we're doing in that lesson. The point of parents is to get the children there ready to swim at the start of the lesson and then take them away promptly at the end of it and occasionally be available at the end of the lesson for a progress update. Quality time is where you interact together and I don't want parents doing that in the middle of a lesson.

It seems very sensible to me to use the time checking emails, but that doesn't have to happen poolside.