To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

Hopefully that gets the right tone and she'll be left puzzled whether you are taking the piss or happy she's so 'caring'.

It's a good response, but I don't think she'd have a clue that it was sarcastic. I'm constantly shocked at how many people on MN can't detect any kind of humour or irony and the person who wrote that message to OP really does not understand subtlety in written communication.

Properly patronising. By all means turn the volume down but ffs!!
Giving you permission indeed.
I work in the NHS and sometimes In outpatients the carer/relative will piss off to Asda or whatever leaving us to toilet their mum or whatever and I'm not even a nurse!! One was gone for two hours!! It isn't a flipping creche for the elderly. Give me phones any day.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text

Super. Will she also write to my boss and explain why that email wasn’t sent?

The tone is incredibly annoying and twee. Whether she has a point though sort of depends on the set-up. I’ve used two different pools for lessons. One parents sit pool side and it is a massive pain when people are talking as it is hard for the children to hear the teacher. You feel a bit more involved just because the pool is small. The other is a big leisure centre pool with viewing gallery. They don’t give a shit what parents do and you’re so far away, it can be hard to identity the children anyway. Most people are playing on their phones or looking after siblings. The only stipulation is that you stay in the viewing area for the little ones (3/4 year olds) in case they need a wee.

I think no phones is a good idea, it's only a short time but who the hell do they think they are to give permission? That would get my back up.

Can't see why parents need to be next to the swimming pool at all, to be honest

We weren’t allowed poolside at all. Wanted us to drop and run. When I pointed out she didn’t really know my DD and her disability so needed to be there she said “but then all the parents will want to” The lesson went predictably terribly, she dropped her underwater twice and when I heard DD screaming inconsolably, I went poolside and said “yes this was what I was talking about” She then said I could of course stay poolside, she understood, I told her we’d be finding another instructor.

You need to get the parents together to clap and cheer their offspring...

They will then soon be glad when you return to your phones.

Bloody patronising. I‘d just ignore.

Phones or devices are not allowed poolside in my local swimming pool.

Phones and any other devices are banned from poolside in our leisure centre.
I swim/play in the main pool with my daughter for 30-45 mins until her lesson, then I take her to the other pool. She has her lesson for 25 minutes while I have a swim by myself.

Quality time together plus our own time.

It isn't really her call. It of course does make a difference, maybe depending on the child. I can only speak for mine- my daughter does group lessons and really thrives on knowing I am actively watching, she looks up and responds by doing better if I'm watching/ giving her a thumbs up ( full disclosure I do have my phone on me and do check it but try not to). My son on the other hand loves his (one to one) lessons so much he doesn't even glance my way so I could be on my phone the whole time and it wouldn't matter from his point of view ( but I do love watching him having so much fun).

I agree with no phones poolside because of camera phones and safeguarding but when my DC were doing swimming lessons all the parents used to go to the cafe or the supermarket opposite apart from one lesson a term when we were invited to watch.

Teacher is spot on. Far too many parents spend time concentrating on their phones and not the kids. What if tet child did something really good and you missed it I imagine they would be a bit upset.

I don't know. There's been a massive increase in drownings because of parents using their phones whilst their kids are in water. Which is horrific so I can kind of see that getting parents into the habit of not using their phones near water would be a good thing.

But it doesn't say that. And the tone is annoying. And it would, on balance, be better if the swim teacher didn't let them drown.

But I do feel sad when I see kids excited to do something and they look like to their parent who's on their phone. But my mum used to read a book while I had swimming lessons.

In conclusion, I have nothing valuable to add. I don't know. I've not had my tea yet.

Yanbu at all. When mine were in lessons I would go for a swim myself in the other half of the pool, and we would then swim together after the lesson. I don’t really see much value in sitting in the gallery, from a great distance to watch every week. They are there to learn to swim, not put on a show!

Hmmm I'm not sure what the difference is between sending an email (bad) and reading a book or doing homework (recommended). I think they're not really saying what they want to and in trying to be polite it's just a bit off.

I think it’s a good rule to make it a phone/digital free zone.

I know you think it may be personally directed at you, but it’s probably because other parents/other classes DO have parents glued to their phones. Like you say, you’ve been very aware of your kids and do watch them. So this rule should not be hard for you to follow.

when my DD was younger I took her in helped her change and then disappeared 9 out of 10 lessons quick trip to fill up with fuel or the post office back 25 minutes later to help her get changed back again
now I drop her outside pool she gets changed herself I disappear to waitrose for coffee and to read paper or MN or whatever and get back 10 minutes after lesson finishes when hopefully she is all dressed again, there are 4 different classes at once ie about 40 kids only about 10 parents can see anything at all from viewing area you certainly can't hear or talk to your kid, I can see the no photos bit that is fair enough but jobsworths trying to suggest they have the power or the authority to tell you what to do they actually don't
the deal is you pay for lesson during lesson they are responsible together with the lifeguard for the safety of your child whether you are in cafe, foyer the shops opposite or on site gym or carpark is really irrelevant
I watch about 1 lesson a term she prefers me not to stay when she is at tennis I go and visit a friend they don't encourage parents to stay but drop and run

What if tet child did something really good and you missed it I imagine they would be a bit upset.

They’ll live. I’ll see it next time. Or not. Actually, it’s better if they come running out after and say excitedly tell me all about it. Then we have a discussion about feeling really proud of themselves and how great it felt to do it. There’s something really icky about children constantly looking to their parents for validation.

the risk or increase in drownings due to parents on phone is irrelevant legally as in the swimming lesson scenario it is the teachers lifeguards job to safeguard the child just like at school while they are there the coach is responsible for their well being
the increase is most likely due to not watching kids in home pools or on beach or on holiday. kids on not dying in swimming lessons because of parental phone use

Patronising and preachy.

How dare they.

In my day parents read books while we Swam - I was in the local club and went to a lot of lessons. The teachers would never have instructed them to put their novels down and gaze adoringly at their little cherubs☺️. They would have been laughed at.

Watching kids swim lengths is boring as hell.

Swim teach to 100% bang on. I don't care if it sounds patronising as some others have suggested, she/he could have said what they were really thinking, instead they have called it a "Digital Detox".

Personally speaking, it warms my heart when I am at my children's swimming lessons and they look over at me to make sure I am looking - they have huge smiles on their faces as they are proud of what they have just done, and want to make sure I have seen it. It makes me rather sad when other children look up and see their parents on their devices, not seeing what their child has just accomplished. I love that my children love knowing I am watching them learn and making progress.

Perhaps the swim teacher, in the OP's situation has seen the sad looks on his/her pupil's faces and has thought of how to tactfully say: "Get the fuck off your phones/laptops/whatever and show your children how proud you are of them!!!" Lead by example.

I think I'd reply "I'm on my phone doing work, it works so much better for my family to do this during swimming lessons than when we get home. We all have different ways of managing our lives."

I loved to swim lengths during my kids lessons! Have you to go to school and watch them as well?

My df used to drop me off for the 1hrs lesson do a Tesco shop and get a quick coffee. Then be back 5 mins at the end. This is what I intend to do when I take my kids to swimming club. Watching other people swim is really really dull