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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

543 replies

swimmingmum6 · 09/09/2019 15:55

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 09/09/2019 15:56

Good on them.

TulipsTwoLips · 09/09/2019 15:57

I find it well intentioned but patronising.

ConstanzaAndSalieri · 09/09/2019 15:57

:yuk:

Our pool has a no phones at the poolside rule (no photos allowed) which is explainable, but that is just ridiculous...

Loopytiles · 09/09/2019 15:58

Swimschool teacher’s email is v annoying.

In your shoes I would sit outside for most of the lesson!

If she wants to ban phones from poolside for safeguarding purposes (our swimschool does), then she should state this.

MyDcAreMarvel · 09/09/2019 15:58

I totally agree with the swimming teacher , lessons are what 30 minutes.

smemorata · 09/09/2019 15:58

Ooh that would piss me right off! Grin Swimming lessons are not interesting for anyone else and like you I use them to catch up on emails and chat to friends. Nothing wrong with that!

MrsMozartMkII · 09/09/2019 15:58

It sounds fine to me.

Be in the moment with the child and the lesson.

hammeringinmyhead · 09/09/2019 15:59

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

This is incredibly patronising. I don't really think you are able to focus on "quality time" with your child in a swimming less if you are several feet away and they're supposed to be paying attention to the teacher.

PetitTorteois · 09/09/2019 15:59

How old are the children?

Loopytiles · 09/09/2019 15:59

It’s the instructor’s job to be “in the moment” teaching swimming. Bet her adverts and Ts & Cs don’t state that parents should actively participate.

Simkin · 09/09/2019 15:59

That would get right on my tits. Watching your kid in a swimming lesson is not 'quality time'. However I'd wonder if it was in response to somebody being really inconsiderate - like chatting loudly during the lessons or something?

NoSquirrels · 09/09/2019 16:00

I don’t think they could have made the tone any more pleasant, honestly.

You don’t appreciate the message itself, but that’s different to the tone.

If you feel strongly about it you can comment, as they’ve asked for your opinion - you could say what you’ve said here, that you like to be able to focus 100% on your DC when they’re 100% in your care, and as you work flexibly to manage swim lessons, you need to be available on email so this would mean you’d need to spend most of the lesson not at poolside.

DriftingLeaves · 09/09/2019 16:00

Sounds fine.

Daisy38 · 09/09/2019 16:01

Our local pool doesn’t even let you in to watch the kids and you need to wait in the foyer. I’m fine with that as at the end of the day it’s my kids who are having a lesson, not me.

Jeezoh · 09/09/2019 16:01

Watching someone teach my child to swim is not having quality time with them Hmm

It’d be a thumbs down from me, I don’t need to be told how to spend my time. Banning phones to prevent photos being taken would be fine with me though as that’s a rule at swim schools near me.

MzHz · 09/09/2019 16:02

Teacher is bang on!

Used to piss me off so much that the same parents would bag the half dozen only seats that could see the pool and the kids and then stick their noses into phones

MrGsFancyNewVagina · 09/09/2019 16:02

I think she should be concentrating on the children under her care and less time checking out what their parents are doing.

FrauHaribo · 09/09/2019 16:02

whoever wrote that is a patronising moron!

Loud phone conversations are annoying for everybody, fine. It's a swimming lesson, not a lifetime bonding experience - I would just ignore.

from123toabc · 09/09/2019 16:03

Depends on the age of the kids. My DC10 swims for the county- i'm certainly not watching 3 sessions of swimming a week. I try to watch 1 session, then I go for a run during the other 2.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 09/09/2019 16:03

The half an hour lesson when I sit down and look at rubbish on my phones is often the only break I get all weekend (other than when the kids are asleep). I do make sure she can see me watching sometimes but most of the time she is busy swimming not looking at me! I'm also often sorting out something for her benefit (eg arranging a play date, sorting a birthday present) so I'm not being completely selfish. They can have it as a digital free zone if they wish, and I'd comply, probably by nipping out to my car if there was something I really wanted to do. But I'd feel pretty resentful of them trying to dictate what I do in my limited free time. Swimming lessons arent really something where you need to be fully present and interacting with your child, in my opinion

LochJessMonster · 09/09/2019 16:03

Well intentioned but patronising.
Should have skipped all the stuff about ' would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day' blah blah and just said the poolside will be a digital free zone.

But I agree with the sentiment, you might not be on your phone all the time but others might be, and the teachers probably sees the children look towards their parent when they have done something good, only for the parent to have missed it.

TomHagenMakesMyBosomTremble · 09/09/2019 16:03

Well meaning but incredibly patronising. Especially since you're using the time your dc are swimming to do work/admin so that you have "quality time" with them afterwards. I'd say that & then pointedly step outside with your phone.

BeanBag7 · 09/09/2019 16:04

I dont disagree with the idea of a tech-free poolside area, however I would be annoyed by the wording of the message.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day how patronising and sanctimonious.

Why dont they just say "we would like to encourage parents to be more involved in their child's swimming lessons. Therefore we will be trialling a "no phone zone" poolside from next week. If you have an important call to make we ask that you step outside to do so. Many thanks"

BarbedBloom · 09/09/2019 16:04

This wouldn't be okay for me. I think it is patronising and may just end up with most parents waiting outside. I have a few friends who use this time to catch up with things so they can have quality time with their child when they get home.

AvengerDanvers95 · 09/09/2019 16:04

Balls to that, watching swimming lessons is dull as. I have to wrangle my toddler during my 5yo's lesson so I don't get any 'quality time' watching her either sit on the side of a pool paying attention to her teacher or swim face down in the water so she can't look at me Hmm I'm a bit contrary though, so I'd bring a textbook or something and read that in an obvious manner.

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