To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

I hate these stupid rules, if you want to take a photo you will anyway - no need to ban phones. Phones are banned at my kids pools, I still take photos.

Of all the times to be on your phone and not concentrate on your children, a swimming (or any sport) lesson is one!

YANBU -- I spend that 45 minutes doing the online grocery shop, getting bills paid, catching up with work (the price I pay for serious flexibility during the week), etc...

It''s none of the instructor's business what I do while waiting for the lesson to finish.

Utterly sanctimonious and patronising.

That would annoy me so much. That's 30 minutes a week I pay to outsource to another adult so that I can do other things that need to be done. I'm self-employed and use social media a lot to connect with customers - she might think I'm tooling around on FB but I'm marketing the events that pay for the lessons! I don't need parenting classes from the swimming teacher. Just teach them to swim.

Our pool has a strict no phone policy at poolside, I go to the gym while my son has his swimming lesson.

Agree that it’s patronising

YANBU that would really annoy me!

It's patronising bollocks.

Your child probably isn't even looking at you when they're in the pool. The swimming lesson is not 'quality time with your child', it's your child doing an activity with someone else while you wait for them to finish. 'Quality time with your child' is the time you spend with them one-to-one at home or on a day out or whatever, not when they're focused on their swimming teacher and the other children in their class.

I would agree that parents shouldn't be making pr receiving calls, as that would probably be a distraction for the kids if they can hear phones ringing and loud conversations being had, but it is harming absolutely nobody if you answer an email or send a text.

I also think it's horseshit that they want to ban siblings from using a tablet in favour or reading or homework - what difference does it make to the children swimming if their big sister is reading a book or playing on a phone? Plenty of kids read books on a tablet app any way. I'm all for encouraging kids to read more, but that's not for the bloody swimming coach to decide! How the hell do they know how much a child reads? That 30 minutes on an iPad while their sibling swims might be the only 30 minutes' screen time they get all day/week, for all the swimming teacher knows.

And good luck with getting a child to do their homework neatly with their maths book or worksheet resting on their knees by a swimming pool while their siblings are splashing around.

Ha! I remember DD1s swimming lessons with clarity...because I spent almost the entire session trying to stop DD2 from launching herself into the pool or having an epic tantrum because I'd stopped her launching herself into the pool.

There was nowhere else to wait, it was poolside or outside. Given that we live in Wales outside wasn't viable for 90% of the lessons.

I don't remember any of DD1s achievements because I couldn't be 'present' in the moment. I guess that makes me a failure as a parent by this teacher's logic...there was me thinking I did a good thing by getting my daughter to learn how to swim at considerable expense.

What an utterly patronising email.

I'd support a digital ban poolside because of privacy concerns, but not through patronising #makingmemories shite!

They just need to say no phones poolside and that's it. None of that patronising shit is necessary.
I used to read on my Kindle while watching DS1 swim, and same when DS2 was doing gym/sports. In summer I'd sit outside but in winter I'd be in the hall/pool. It never occured to me that I might need to participate more than occasionally looking up and locating my child.

We’ve done swimming lessons at a few places and none allowed parents directly poolside. One had a viewing balcony. Another had us watching, but on bleachers many feet away and behind a see through fence. The third had us on the pool deck because there was no where else to go, but we were seated as far as possible from the lessons.

At all of them, it was heavily emphasized that we were not to be a distraction. I can see the use of electronic devices being quite distracting to young kids, especially ones who would rather be on an iPad than taking a swimming lesson.

Phones are banned at my kids pools, I still take photos

Why would you do that???

I think the teacher has a point especially if she sees her pupils a bit annoyed/upset. She failed on the delivery of her point though.

I also think it's horseshit that they want to ban siblings from using a tablet in favour or reading or homework - what difference does it make to the children swimming if their big sister is reading a book or playing on a phone?

agreed
My kids homework are online and they need a tablet to do them anyway!

My DC don't/didn't even acknowledge me. They are/were focussing on the teacher.

Iggly
Why would you do that???

because my DH or their grand parents are interested in seeing their progress, and it hurts no one if I record my own kids.

YABU

I used to watch my phone whilst my daughter was in her lesson, then one day she said to me, she had looked up to see if I’d seen her do something well, & I was on my phone.

She looked so disappointed, I watched after that!

It’s patronising and bullshit quite frankly. The reason phones etc shouldn’t be used at the poolside is because of safeguarding. Sounds like they were trying to find a ‘nice’ non-confrontational way of setting out a rule but in reality should have just cut the crap and said, no phones due to our safeguarding policy.

Respond with @MrGsFancyNewVagina says.
They should be paying attention to the children that they are paid to teach rather than the parents of said children.

That's so incredibly patronising that I'm annoyed on your behalf.

When my kids had swimming lessons, we weren't allowed phones, so I used to read my book instead. Surely the instructor doesn't really want half a dozen parents 'encouraging' their kids from the side?

Awful tone and patronising. I don't need her permission to engage with my child. There and inferred judgement in that post that the parents are not getting enough "quality time" with their children which is obnoxious. I would comment with a thumbs down and say that as an adult and a responsible parent I will choose how to manage my own time poolside.

I would have thought the last thing they wanted was for parents to be 'more involved' . In my experience that normally means parents interfering with what has been instructed
Odd they say siblings could be doing homework while watching ?

Patronising. My kids are in a group of 6 so for 5/6 of the time it isn’t their turn.

I read my kindle or sometimes a physical book. They rotate round so I know when my kids turn is coming up and I watch them. I consider it time to myself.

I used to write a meal plan and do my online shop during swimming lessons. Our swim school were not keen on parents sitting at the end of the child’s lane and distracting them as they came back and forth.

@Loopytiles

Not sure what your replies is implying but I was only sharing something my adult children all recall feeling as they are now older. As I said, all children are different and also at the time the majority of parents were watching so it's easy to notice that your own isn't. Also of course, smart phones and social media were not really part of everyday life. I don't disagree that what AO said sounded a bit like performance parenting but it doesn't make the memories of the kids any less valid. I know it's a thing on here to keyboard warrior other posters but it's not a necessity.

Dreadful. Who do they think they are to police you. Give you permission!! they can just go away