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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my DD 10 and 11 alone from 6-9pm

137 replies

bathsh3ba · 09/09/2019 06:49

I'm a single parent and have to go to an evening at one of my DD's schools this week. It would involve being a 20min drive away and out from 6pm to 9pm. We live in a village, they know the neighbours, they can call my parents or their dad on the phone but neither are local. They are 10 and very nearly 12. They are generally sensible and have been left before but not for as long as 3 hours and not when it's dark, which it will be by 9pm. They want to be left rather than get a babysitter. WIBU to leave them?

OP posts:
Saisong · 09/09/2019 06:52

Too long and too late for that age. Get a babysitter.

AJPTaylor · 09/09/2019 06:52

I would.

KnobJockey · 09/09/2019 06:53

I would in that situation, as a one off.

Pinkkahori · 09/09/2019 06:54

I wouldn't. Not for 3 hours at night. I have two girls of similar age.

MsTSwift · 09/09/2019 06:54

If they are ok with it and broadly get in with each other I definitely would. So much molly coddling. They aren’t toddlers.

swingofthings · 09/09/2019 06:56

I certainly would at this age but my two kids were very mature for their age.

Don't do because you have to, do it because you do believe in your heart and mind that it is safe.

The one rule I had was that thry had to answer their phone when I called, ie. Their phone had to be on them at all time.

MsTSwift · 09/09/2019 07:00

Same swing. I would hire a lumpen teen to sit on the sofa and wondered what exactly was the point? Both dds very sensible get on well with each other we live in safe area with lots of neighbours and dd1 glued to her phone Hmm. Haven’t bothered unless we out late or not relatively close by since girls 10 and 12.

Foslady · 09/09/2019 07:01

Agree with Swingofthings rule, and call them every hour. They should be fine as a one off.
When I had to leave dd at that age I mentioned it to a neighbour and so if they didn’t feel ok they would be aware and let them stay until I returned.

DrWAnker · 09/09/2019 07:02

Totally fine.
Set the rules i.e no baths/cooking whilst you are gone. Make sure they can text or call you if they need to.
It's a bit longer than I'd be strictly comfortable with as they aren't used to it but it's a one off and they need to develop independence.

KnifeAngel · 09/09/2019 07:03

No way. They are too young.

Lindy2 · 09/09/2019 07:04

If they are pretty sensible kids I think at 10 and 11 being alone at home for 3 hours is fine.
I presume they could phone you if they needed and they have people they can go to in an emergency so they have adult support available. I'd do it.

runninguphills · 09/09/2019 07:05

I would. I'd purchase a really good movie for them to watch and I'd ring them every hour.

NormHonal · 09/09/2019 07:06

If it’s a meeting at the school, can’t they come along and sit in the corridor with snacks and devices to entertain them? They’ll presumably know where the toilets are and can text you if they need anything? I know it’s not ideal, but if the school is having a meeting at that time of night they can’t assume everyone can get childcare!

OwlBeThere · 09/09/2019 07:07

My eldest was home alone after school every day for 30 mins to 3 hours depending on the day at 11. They’ll be fine.

TinyMystery · 09/09/2019 07:08

I think it’s fine.

saraclara · 09/09/2019 07:11

Mine would have been fine. Rules in place re: cooking etc, and phone to hand.
If you know your next door neighbours well, maybe just let them know and confirm that they'll be around if the kids have a problem.

hopelesschildren · 09/09/2019 07:19

As long as dc are happy. my dc would definatly prefer to stay at home

TowerRingInferno · 09/09/2019 07:20

I think it’s a little bit too long and too late at that age. I’d have left mine at a short time at the that age if I stayed in the village and could definitely get back if needed but my worry is that something could go wrong if you’re driving (flat tyre, road closed etc) even though it almost certainly wouldn’t.

Pinkkahori · 09/09/2019 07:20

Just something to consider - if a staff member at the school happened to ask who was minding them (unlikely to happen but as a hypothetical) would you be happy to tell them they were by themselves?
If so, then I'd say you are happy with the decision. If not then you obviously have reason to doubt it.

JE17 · 09/09/2019 07:23

I would be fine with that. It depends on the maturity of the DC, you know them best.

namechangedforthis1980 · 09/09/2019 07:32

I would leave them, as long as they're sensible 10/12 year olds. My DS is 10 and the variance in sensibleness between his year group is staggering!

I'd let the neighbours know they're home alone, and hope they'd keep an eye out.

adaline · 09/09/2019 07:34

I don't see problem with this at all.

Ginger1982 · 09/09/2019 07:34

What @Pinkkahori said 👍🏻

boptist · 09/09/2019 07:39

Will they have to put themselves to bed by 9pm?

randomchap · 09/09/2019 07:39

Depends on how sensible your children are. Some children would be far too immature at that age, others would be fine.

Trust your own judgement, you're the only person who can make this call.