To leave my DD 10 and 11 alone from 6-9pm

[bathsh3ba]

I'm a single parent and have to go to an evening at one of my DD's schools this week. It would involve being a 20min drive away and out from 6pm to 9pm. We live in a village, they know the neighbours, they can call my parents or their dad on the phone but neither are local. They are 10 and very nearly 12. They are generally sensible and have been left before but not for as long as 3 hours and not when it's dark, which it will be by 9pm. They want to be left rather than get a babysitter. WIBU to leave them?

I think the only truly unreasonable party here is the school! What on earth is the event that you have to give up 3 hours? I've never heard of such a long thing.

No I wouldnt I would get a babysitter

Personally too long my almost 13 year old is allowed to be left hour and half on a Saturday morning when I'm at work and dad takes his brother football training but has his phone and knows can knock next door. If you can't sort something ask the neighbour if they would mind popping in checking up etc but I personally would either take them or not go.

"Government guidelines are not to leave them alone under 12.*

Link please.

Most 12 year olds are getting themselves to and from school alone, letting themselves in and are home alone until their parents are back from work.

OP is only 20 minutes away. Neighbours are known. We need to stop mollycoddling kids and trust them more.

Personally too long my almost 13 year old is allowed to be left hour and half on a Saturday morning when I'm at work

Doesn’t your nearly 13 year old get himself to school on his own or go into town with mates etc?

I think it’s fine if they are sensible. I may call / text halfway through to be safe and ensure that they had dinner and were clear on the rules.

I am not sure why would a staff member at school need to ask who was minding them and even if they did you are a) not obligated to answer b) not doing anything wrong / illegal.

In your shoes, I would get a sitter in. They would probably be fine (as sensible) but why risk it?

I was the one who mentioned a staff member asking. I did say it was unlikely and a hypothetical as a way of gauging how comfortable the OP felt with the decision.
Also I must admit i assumed primary school as children start secondary later where I am.

Secondary schools near me finish at 2pm on a Friday, so lots of children who attended the primary school where I met their parents are definitely alone for at least 3 hours.

Far safer to be inside your own home than on the park at night whilst X has managed to sneak out a bottle of vodka and is passing it round.

You know your children best, if they get on and are happy for you to go, then go. It is a one off for 3 hours. They know they can turn to their neighbours for help if anything goes wrong. They can contact you by phone.

They just have to know what to do in an emergency. Give them the skills to enable them to think for themselves.

This has nothing to do with being reasonable or not.
If your kids are OK with it and you are comfortable with them being on their own, as long as they know the basic rules they should be fine. I wouldn't leave my 8&10 alone for so long on a first occasion but I've been building up the trust for the last three years, leaving them alone for short periods, beginning at 15 minutes and now, they are more than happy to stay alone for a couple of hours. If you don't feel comfortable just take them with you, no one will tell you off for that.

Personally too long my almost 13 year old is allowed to be left hour and half on a Saturday morning when I'm at work

What do you do with your 13 year old in the school holidays? Around here most holiday clubs only go up to age 11.
If your 13 year old can only be alone for 1 and a half hours are you with them all of the holidays and after school every day?

My ds is 12 and gets left for longer. My golden rule is if hes happy with it then its fine.kids have to grow up at some time .