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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my DD 10 and 11 alone from 6-9pm

137 replies

bathsh3ba · 09/09/2019 06:49

I'm a single parent and have to go to an evening at one of my DD's schools this week. It would involve being a 20min drive away and out from 6pm to 9pm. We live in a village, they know the neighbours, they can call my parents or their dad on the phone but neither are local. They are 10 and very nearly 12. They are generally sensible and have been left before but not for as long as 3 hours and not when it's dark, which it will be by 9pm. They want to be left rather than get a babysitter. WIBU to leave them?

OP posts:
Natsku · 09/09/2019 07:40

If they're happy to do it and you trust them to be sensible then there's no problem

boptist · 09/09/2019 07:40

I'd let the neighbours know they're home alone, and hope they'd keep an eye out.

I am thinking how I would feel if I was that neighbour. I think I'd rather be babysitting for you, for free.

Wallywobbles · 09/09/2019 07:41

I would as a one off if they're ok with it.

SonEtLumiere · 09/09/2019 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedskyLastNight · 09/09/2019 07:43

I would leave them but agree with PP - if you are worried why can't you just take them to school with you?

Adviceorhelp · 09/09/2019 07:44

I’d bring them with you. That’s what I do. I’ve got the same situation tomorrow eve. All the children will have to come with.

Heyboyo · 09/09/2019 07:46

They’ll be fine. No wonder kids leave home these days without a clue

Runbitchrun · 09/09/2019 07:49

I have no problem with leaving them for 3 hours - I have a 10 and 12year old who I leave for that amount of time very occasionally, but I would be unhappy about the time of day. By 9pm now it is dark and you would be 20 minutes away if something happened. It really depends on the children I suppose, but I would be asking my mum to come and sit with them personally.

myidentitymycrisis · 09/09/2019 07:50

YANBU

Yika · 09/09/2019 07:53

I think it's fine, if they are OK with it.

BarbariansMum · 09/09/2019 07:53

YANBU - I think you can trust your instincts on this one..

BlueScreen171 · 09/09/2019 07:56

I definitely would. They’ll be fine.

Sleepsoon7 · 09/09/2019 07:56

Can’t their Dad stay with them (or they with him)? Obviously assuming there are no issues making this unacceptable.

RedTideBlues · 09/09/2019 08:01

12 year old should have enough about her to contact you should it be required.

EmeraldShamrock · 09/09/2019 08:06

They'll be fine, if you have a trusting neighbour they can call if there is an issue.

AngelsOnHigh · 09/09/2019 08:08

My immediate response was to say no yanbu. Then a vision of my two DGDs came to mind. They are 10 and 12. Extremely bright, sensible girls. But, so beautiful, sweet and innocent. I know I could never leave them at night by themselves for 3 hours.

BillywilliamV · 09/09/2019 08:09

Why no baths? Are they likely to drown at that age?

Bookworm4 · 09/09/2019 08:10

What is it with ‘it’s dark’? They’ll be in their house; doors locked, lights on not wandering the streets.

LaBelleSauvage · 09/09/2019 08:12

I think they'd be fine OP if they are sensible children and they have been alone for a couple of hours before- how do they feel about it though?

Original poster
bathsh3ba · 09/09/2019 08:12

Meeting is at the older girl's new secondary school, I don't think they really factor in childcare. Their dad is working away this week, my parents live over an hour away. It's leave them or babysitter.

They won't have to put themselves to bed and I would have given them supper before leaving. They can call/text me, their dad or my parents and have done before when left for shorter periods.

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/09/2019 08:17

Absolutely fine now the elder one is in secondary school. Many kids this age are alone after school until 7/8 due to parents work commitments

redastherose · 09/09/2019 08:18

It's fine, you know your children best so if they are sensible then leave them with the usual rules in place (no opening doors to anyone who knocks, keep the phone with them and no cooker/fire etc).

Dollywilde · 09/09/2019 08:24

Dark isn’t really anything to worry about - if the meeting was 3 - 6 in January it would still be dark for part of the evening, and as a @BigSandyBalls2015 points out, lots of secondary kids are home alone until then throughout the year. I really wouldn’t have a problem with it OP.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 09/09/2019 08:26

It's fine. You know your kids and their maturity levels. Just give them a call a few times and let a neighbour know. I'd have no problem doing that for a neighbour. 3 hours really isn't very long

Ponoka7 · 09/09/2019 08:26

I left mine at that age.

Some children are more mature and not nervous. So always be guided by them.

Just tell them that if they have an accident, like breaking something, burning something on the cooker etc, you won't be angry. Or open the door to someone etc. You need them to be honest and contact you so you can help.

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