To ask that only 1 parent per child accompany to bday party?

[SuzieQ10]

My DC's bday party is coming up. I'm planning to do the invitations and give out at school this week, she's starting reception. Inviting the whole class of 30 plus 8 cousins / family friends plus their parents.

Due to capacity we can only accommodate up to 80 guests maximum.

Is is very rude to ask that only 1 parent accompany each school child? I know not everyone will RSVP yes, but given it's the first reception class party I'm worried lots will bring 2 parents and we'll be over the venues limit.

Not unreasonable at all.
Same with a no sibling rule.
Some parents are cfers who see a children's birthday party as a family event.

"unfortunately, due to venue capacity limits, we must limit it to one parent per child"

Simple.

You could write "Due to venue limitations, we'd kindly ask 1 parent to accompany each child"

People have to understand that it's not a jungle and things needs to be organised. I wouldn't be offended to see this. Those who will be, are better off staying at home anyway.

I would much rather it was clear on be invitation rather than fall foul of the unspoken rules of children's parties!

I'd much rather be told, @OrangeSwoosh puts it perfectly, polite and informative.

I'd much rather be told, @OrangeSwoosh puts it perfectly, polite and informative

Shock horror, we put the same on our wedding invites regarding children and +1s unless specifically named!

Perfectly reasonable IMO, and definitely include it on the invitations so there's no room for 'confusion'. I've experienced uninvited siblings turning up to parties on many occasions and it is incredibly cheeky! It's one thing if the parent speaks to you beforehand and explains that they have no childcare for siblings, would it be alright for them to come along too or the invited child won't be able to come - but too often they just turn up breezily and I've ended up having to fork out for the siblings to take part on top of what I'd already budgeted for.

It's funny, my kids' stepsister is invited to a party today, and their stepmother asked if my youngest would like to go along too as it would be fun. I pointed out that, given the location/activity, they'd probably be annoyed at having an extra, uninvited child turning up and they'd have to pay extra for him. It hadn't even occurred to her, she just assumed 'it'll be fine!' .

I'm a bit out of practice with children's parties due to mine being grown up but am amazed that it's a thing that 2 parents would accompany a child to a party never mind siblings just turning up!

It’s not rude at all. I’d also include a reminder that you can’t accommodate siblings either.

I' surprised that both parents would even want to turn up!

But yes, for peace of mind write that venue restrictions mean all children can only be accompanied by one parent or carer.

That would really annoy me. Would I just have to twiddle my thumbs or make awkward conversation with strangers? We’d end up having to draw straws who had the chore of going rather than getting to go together. Better to mention it though as we go to any of these things together so we aren’t bored.

@AlaskaSometimes what's the matter with just sitting twiddling your thumbs for an hour or so? Genuine question.

I am surprised that a school ages child would have parents come at all. When my dcs were young it was drop and run unless parent asked beforehand to stay and help.

Do 2 parents really rock up to parties ? Anyway just say due to space ... and hopefully they wont all turn up like it is a day out

When ds2 started reception, there was a whole class party just after half term- 3 children from school turned up. One being mine. It was terrible, this big hall and a couple of kids running around. Apparently 24 had RSVP’d to say they were attending. Loads of food just went to waste. Mum was crying. I get embarrassed thinking about it.

I am surprised that a school ages child would have parents come at all. When my dcs were young it was drop and run unless parent asked beforehand to stay and help.

Yes I am of the drop and run generation Idon't understand parents staying either.

AlaskaSometimes - good way of getting to know the parents. They will be intertwined in your life for years. Playdates where parents aren't invited, parties when it becomes the norm to drop and go. Wouldn't you want to know something about them?

Why would you be inviting a large group of children that neither you or your child knows to a birthday party?

Oh that's so sad isobel. That poor child. OP nothing wrong in putting that on the invites. I'd rather know up front (though I don't think me and my DH would ever both want to endure a kids party if we didn't have to!!)

I would be surprised that most won't drop and run at that age - I pretty much always did.

At 4 parties definitely aren't drop and run. Round here you'd definitely be thought off leaving a 4 or 5 year old.

Think around here the drop and run started when they were in y1/y2

One parent is enough. And I'd mention no siblings too because some people are cheeky enough to bring them and expect you to host them. So using @OrangeSwoosh suggestion unfortunately, due to venue capacity limits, we must limit it to invited child plus one parent/guardian only. Or feel free to drop your child and collect at x o'clock (assuming you are happy to supervise kids without parents).

SmudgeButt - Whole class parties in ops case are good in a way as the dc's don't really have any friends as they've just started school. Unless of course, they've been around each other since before starting reception.
We were lucky in a way as my dc's and a few of their friends knew each other from nursery,

Same here, I am only used to the drop and run thing. Everything these days seems to be turning in to a family event...I have just got back from the supermarket and it was over run with families. Why cant one person do the shopping instead of dragging everyone there?