To ask that only 1 parent per child accompany to bday party?

[SuzieQ10]

My DC's bday party is coming up. I'm planning to do the invitations and give out at school this week, she's starting reception. Inviting the whole class of 30 plus 8 cousins / family friends plus their parents.

Due to capacity we can only accommodate up to 80 guests maximum.

Is is very rude to ask that only 1 parent accompany each school child? I know not everyone will RSVP yes, but given it's the first reception class party I'm worried lots will bring 2 parents and we'll be over the venues limit.

Why don't you just say "no parents". Surely once children are of school age they are not accompanied by parents unless they have additional needs?

I think you need to worry much more about siblings. I think if you put that you're unable to accommodate siblings, you'll not get both parents anyway.

Do people really have 80 people to a party when they don't know them
What will you do if the parents drop and run, do you have plenty of volunteers to help when this happens?

Round here it would be very unusual to say no parents. At school they are supervised by staff etc. Unless the OP is willing to take responsibility for 30 kids of around 4 that she doesn't know, solo of course...but rather her than me. Do people really send 4 year olds off to a party on their own with people they don't know?

But if you did say no parents, you would probably get lots of parents declining anyway, thus solving the problem of numbers.

Ok so my children are lat teens early 20s ...so obviously different generation but it was unheard of for parents to stay at parties with their children !! Why would you do that ?I would have a couple of friends and my mother to help and the very occasional extra mum if their child was clingy ...as parents we welcomed the opportunity to drop off and run if children at a party .

Round here it generally goes without saying that only one parent comes. In 10 years of hosting DC parties, I can only think of one classmate that arrived with both parents. I doubt you’d need to stipulate it on invitations.

@grandmi. Exactly my experience. Party child parents with grandparents, parent siblings and perhaps 1 or 2 parents who are close friends and 30 school aged children adequately cared for!!

I wouldn't be accepting drop offs for 4year olds that's she's just starting reception with. Too much responsibility. Drop offs are certainly not the norm at age 4&5.

I have had a lot of parties. Not a single parent has dropped and run at reception age. Very unusual for two parents to come. Not unusual for siblings to rock up.

I think it’s fine to say one parent only, just be aware that single parents with more then one might find it tricky.
My DD is 4 and even when the invite says it’s fine to drop off I don’t. She’s not ready for that. I would check with the host first though.
We’ve only had one drop and go invite in 4 yrs.

In Reception DH and often we t together as it was a nice way to meet other parents. Later we still went together if it was a party hosted by good friends to help with the mayhem. And class parties were definitely the norm or all boys/all girls parties.

But it is also perfectly fine to ask due to limitation in numbers.

You won't even have close to 80 people there.

We don't do drop offs here either until around 6.

I don't think it's rude to say. I think its a bit weird to come as a couple and people will be judging you a bit if you do. Instead of twiddling your thumbs why don't you use the time to try and make friends with some of the parents!

Mrsjayy
I am surprised that a school ages child would have parents come at all. When my dcs were young it was drop and run unless parent asked beforehand to stay and help.

Yes I am of the drop and run generation Idon't understand parents staying either.

.......

Me neither, seems very odd. I hosted children's parties and took mine to them, parents didn't stay.

Quite reasonable but you need to be a little flexible, what if one parent doesn't drive and the other is socially awkward (our situation at that stage) what if it's a single mum? Either you need to accept drop offs or realise the one parent no siblings needs to be less rigid

Just let the parents know on the invitation, why the need for drama?

Around here, it's VERY rude to drop your kids and run unless specifically advised to do so. Hosts provide a party, entertainment or activities, they are not providing free childcare. It's not up to the host to supervise 30 kids, who need to go to the toilet, not escape, want a drink, fall down and so on.
Arrange for a friend to take yours, but don't leave the host to deal with the mess.
I know a few parents who did the drop and run, they are now wondering why their kids don't get invited any more!

Some parents are cfers who see a children's birthday party as a family event.
some posters seem to have a very high opinion of their party I am pretty sure parents are not that keen and only make the effort for their kids! WHY wouldn't parents come together? They cost you nothing, at worst will drink a coffee or glass of juice you offer, they might prefer to be around to chat and chat with other parents.

Just be clear, "unfortunately, due to venue capacity limits, we must limit it to one parent per child" is the perfect solution. Don't expect parents to be mind-readers!

Drop offs are certainly not the norm at age 4&5.

Maybe not for you, but they are for many.

Eighty people seems an awful lot! You must have a big house.

You wouldn't be unreasonable to say only one parent to stay (if they have to stay), you'll find that one parent will bring one or two children who have been invited as well as their own. Parents often take it in turns to take children to parties, it's must be a drag having to be there all the time. Like I said it wasn't done years ago but then parties were not so huge. There would usually be a few adults, relatives or friends, helping so the children were well supervised.

I hope it all goes off well.

Due to capacity limits we can only accommodate one parent/carer and no siblings.

Whilst around here only CF try to drop and run, just make sure people don't misunderstand your - very reasonable and polite - "only 1 parent per child" for a request for no parent at all!

The very beginning of reception is not when most parents join forces and take several kids, they haven't known each other for very long, it's still early to do favours for each other unless you were friends from nursery.

No way I'd leave my 4yo. Happy to go on my own though.

When my teens were 4 drop and run was normal, but whole class parties were not. When they were 3 one parent would stay unless the child had previously been to play a couple of times. Siblings not old enough to be left home alone came, but not 2 parents.

Suddenly when my youngest was 4 both parents stayed at parties. I think maybe due to more only children - both parents very intensly focused on doing things "as a family" rather than divide and conquer taking one child each, or one two children and one one. I can't really think if another reason unless people suddenly became incapable of spending a couple of hours without their partner and getting to know the parents of their children's friends.

I must say I'd rather be responsible for 8 4 year olds alone than have to host a load of insular couply-couples who can't be apart. Children's birthday parties are for children not a family time venue for intense parents.

I understand the reason for whole class parties for children who have moved to the area or gone to a different school to preschool friends and don't yet know anyone well in the autumn term of reception, but am happy to have avoided them.

YANBU to specify one parent! I'd say please get in touch if you have childcare issues and need to bring a sibling and you'll try to accommodate if numbers allow, though its not unreasonable to say no siblings.

Under attendance can sometimes be an issue - I was once asked to go home and get my invited child's siblings as the turn out was so low for an activity party and more children would make it a lot more fun!

unless people suddenly became incapable of spending a couple of hours without their partner

you do realise that most people work full-time and many do not actually see each other during the week?

I know on MN everybody has one of these mythical 9 to 4 job and all have tea at 5 as a family with the kids, but in the real world, many people come home late, alternate later evenings and the only time they see other are weekends.
A children's party is much less boring with 2 parents than 1, especially in reception when you don't know anyone yet.

Some parents even come together to sport matches and festivals!

It was definitely normal for school age children to go unaccompanied to parties when mine were at primary school. TBH how do people manage with all the extra adults and doesn’t it just generally add to the mayhem? In my experience even young children behave better without their parents and probably have more fun .Just husband,Grandmas and a couple of good friends were definitely sufficient and parents could have a couple of free hours ! I think it’s a shame that people take the attitude that a party is not free child care ...it always was and I always enjoyed my children’s parties...their late teenage parties were fun as well!!

Ok so my children are lat teens early 20s ...so obviously different generation but it was unheard of for parents to stay at parties with their children !! Why would you do that ?I

My DD is 20. The norm for ks1 age children was parents would drop off if it was a party in your own house, but one would stay if it was at a playbarn type of place. Extra siblings only by explicit prior arrangement.