Sorry, long and rambly.
My DD2 is turning 7 in a few weeks.
She is extremely challenging at the moment.
Refusing to do as asked, from getting up in the morning, to getting dressed, brushing teeth, getting out of the house without a strop. She attacks her sister, who isn’t blameless either, we’ve had problems with her hurting other kids at school, her behaviour at school isn’t terrible but does ‘require improvement’. She gets angry and shouts a lot when asked to do things, just getting her to write a few sentences for her homework today was a couple of hours of screaming and crying despite my staying completely calm (which I often fail at). But the main issue concerning this AIBU is her constant destroying of toys and defacing other people’s property.
She cuts all the hair off her dolls, draws all over dolls, teddies, furniture in her room, pulls arms off dolls Etc. She likes to make potions and so several times I’ve caught her having taken toiletries from the bathroom and made a god awful mess in her bed. She draws on her sheets, her body, she once trimmed her eyelashes with scissors.
I know, I should keep everything out of her reach but she s crafty and finds and hides things. And do I really have to lock up all my toiletries from a nearly 7 year old?!
Anyway, my parents took my older to daughter to the Build a Bear Workshop for her 7th birthday, spent about £150 on her, then extra in the following weeks. They want to do the same for DD2.
We have talked about it a few times over the last few months and I had made it clear that I didn’t think it was a good idea, as she destroys or defaces pretty much ALL of her toys, plus she refuses to tidy up her toys so I periodically do a sweep and remove things. She doesn’t understand the value of things, or possible just doesn’t give a damn, isn’t it sending the wrong message?
Though I guess us buying her birthday presents is the same?
Yesterday my mum asked when would be a good time to take her to Build a Bear.
I said I thought we’d decided that wasn’t a good idea while she’s still destroying everything.
She said, “oh I know, but it’s not fair, she knows now”
So why did you say anything, then?! I hadn’t mentioned it at all to her.
I’m really quite annoyed, why does it have to be THIS birthday, why not next birthday when she’s hopefully better? DD2 has NO IDEA when her sister went, she didn’t even care much about the damn bear til my mum told her recently.
I realise I’m probably being petty and controlling but it annoys me that they just decided amongst themselves after we spoke about it.
This evening, after a long battle trying to get her to brush her teeth and stop annoying her sister, I came so close to threatening to cancel Build a Bear.
That’s another thing that my mum does, though.
She has before threatened DD with removing of outings that have nothing at all to do with her, and that she has no right to interfere with, such as a Rainbow’s trip and a Birthday party.
If I threaten something, I always follow through, these were things she had no control over and I would be left to carry out the ‘punishment’ on her behalf, making me the bad guy, again, because she used that to try to control her.
So, while I feel that’d be a horrible thing to do, my Mum threatens her with things she has no business with so why shouldn’t I? Especially after I told her no in the first bloody place?!
Meh. I can see I’m being petty, and it’s very unlikely I would cancel the trip unless DD2 did something especially bad, I’m just annoyed, mostly at my mother who I apparently have unresolved issues with that I never seem to be able to place.
But who is BU here?
Her for trying to do something nice for her granddaughter despite me telling her to wait a year,
Or me for being annoyed and potentially cancelling it if DD keeps being imbloodypossible?