I shook his bloody hand

[costacostsalot]

There's a man I see all the time, we don't know each other.
I went to coffee shop with my son and he was there with his children, we were sitting near each other so started having a chat. We was having a lovely conversation about the summer holidays, the weather, the children and nothing flirty, just a chit chat. I realised the time and needed to head off. For some unknown reason I got up, leant over and shook his bloody hand!!!!!
Why????? I have no idea where it came from!!! Aibu to just avoid him forever, it's weird isn't it and he's going to think I'm odd 😐😐

Last Christmas I kissed my hairdresser. She's a really lovely girl who's been very kind to me. My dd and I had just finished having our hair done and were about to leave,my hairdresser was standing there smiling at me... and I just leaned over and kissed her on the cheek
Got outside and I thought ' Oh God why did I do that'!

You’ll just have to shake hands at the end of get togethers forever more now. I quite often offer a handshake when meeting someone new, a friends partner or a friend of my husband for example. It’s a bit weird but I hate hugging people I don’t know so it cuts out any chance of a bear hug 😂

OP, welcome to my world. I shook hands with a man my DH was talking to, and, thinking he was our new neighbour, warmly welcomed him to the community. Turns out he was the husband of another neighbour, whom I've met several times before. I mumbled something about not having my glasses on. I don't wear glasses.

I was there and felt embarrassed for them

Had gone round to a friends house we were about 17 and going to a party. He lived in a split level flat and the bathroom was downstairs. My boyfriend (it was his best friends house) decided to go into the bathroom to check his hair one wall was all mirror. There he was looking in the mirror while chatting to us when we all suddenly heard James you look gorgeous now if you don’t mind I would like some privacy
Friends mum was in the bath

Worse thing was he turned around and said sorry and started to mumble an apology rather than just quickly get out

She was lovely and saw the funny side

OP YANBU shaking his hand. How very cordial of you! Make sure you do it again next time.

Many years ago, I saw a very good male friend in the supermarket in the fruit and veg aisles. I approached from behind and quietly in my best sex pest voice whispered "you like fondling the juicy pears dont you". Turns out it wasn't my friend.

Worse case of mistaken identity ever.

I apologised profusely, jettisoned my basket in the dairy aisle and made a swift exit. I used an alternative supermarket for a few months after that!

I did this today. Hired a car for the week, took it back this morning. The check-in guy approaches me, hand out, asking if I’d had a nice holiday. I took his hand, shook it, saying ‘yes thank you’.
Turned out he was after the keys.

Years ago after a lunch at PILs house, DH and I were getting ready to leave. It was quite a long journey home and MIL was fussing about us taking some food for the car. I agreed to take some satsumas and so leaned across the table, past where FIL was sitting, to reach the fruit bowl. FIL evidently thought I was saying goodbye at that point so went to give me a hug, but because I was reaching across the table past him, we ended up with his arms wrapped round my waist and his head kind of pressed into the small of my back while I was stretched across the table in horror clutching two satsumas. So so awkward..I still cringe now...

I one left a voicemail for a work contact and asked him to call me back. Unfortunately I left my boss's mobile number instead of mine. In my defense i worked at an investment bank and worked all hours of the day and night along with my boss.
I only realized this when he called me back and told me. I was blithering a bit - especially as I suspect he thought boss and i were having an affair or something dodgy like that - arrghhhhhhh

once

*@clareyd

I was working for a PR agency and we were pitching to a potential big client. I was very junior and very nervous. When I was introduced to the Director of the business, let's say his name was Martin Smith, instead of saying 'nice to meet you', I just said (very loudly) 'SMITH!'*

I’ve just absolutely howled at this.

Laughing my socks off at high fiving the friend's posh mother.

I love a handshake and on meeting most people for the first time, even informally, will usually shake their hand. You can tell alot about a person by their handshake. He probably really respected you. I dont think he would of thought it weird especially the way you just did it without thinking.

Ive just nearly weed myself at the satsuma story then the pear story 😂 proper chortling at some of these stories!

How many of yous have answered the house phone with the work spiel "Good Afternoon, Jones & Jones (or wherever)" happy singsong voice

Or ended every single phone call with a cheery Thank You, Byeee even when there is literally nothing to thank.

Waves that reminds me of FIL once ringing DH and instead of saying ‘Hi it’s Dad”, he came out with “Hello it’s Full Name”, and then as it dawned on him that he’d used his business introduction, he added for clarification “Your father”.

@zxcvhjkl

Am shaking with laughter. Brilliant.

Please keep this going it's such a tonic 😂

@VenusClapTrap
😂

@GrannyRoberts that's an absolute cracker, I've just burst out laughing at my desk. This thread is excellent.

I've remembered another one. Lived in flat a few years ago. New man moves in downstairs. Pops up to ask if I have a stepladder he can borrow. Living in a flat, I had very little storage space, so kept larger items stored under the beds. I tell the new neighbour that I will have a look for it under the bed. I leave him in the hall. Am down on all fours peering under my bed, when I spot my house rabbit 'Keith' underneath it gnawing away on my antique wooden bed frame. So I hiss firmly, "Keith. Stop it!! Keith. Stop it!" I look up and find the chap standing right behind me. He'd followed me into the bedroom. I was immediately flustered, and ushered him back out into the hall. As I'm showing him to the door he asks, "is Keith your husband?", To which I simply replied 'no', but was too tongue tied to provide an explanation. It was only when he left that I realised just how bad it looked!

Keith is my favourite so far. Amazing!

I love the Keith story 😂 😂 😂

Plenty of people have done this to me over the years. In fact it's long been recommended on MN for those who hate over familiar hugs and kisses from people they barely know.

Thread just reminded me of this:

Me and a mate standing on a street corner wondering which pool hall to go into, the rough one we were outside of or the family friendly one round the corner.

We'd just decided on the rough one and suddenly this woman came up, gave us a hug each and asked what we were all doing.

We said we're going in the pool hall to play. Cool she says and we all go in and play pool for a few hours. She was hilarious and great company. After a short while she said she didn't have a clue who we were but was having fun playing so decided to stay. She said she knew straight away when she came up to us but was too embarrassed to say anything

Still friends now, about 20 years later

My boss some years ago suddenly turned to me and said ‘oh (boss’s daughter’s name) I do wish you would behave yourself’. There was a deathly silence as I glared at her before she realised what she had said. I didn’t get on very well with her and it didn’t help matters.

My DSis brought a boyfriend home when I was in my teens. I was lying on the floor in front of the fire and when he went to walk past me farted very loudly. This was over 35 years ago and he apparently has never forgotten (DSis is friends with his DSis).

So maybe the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me...

I was working abroad in Boston. I lived in a lovely little neighbourhood-and this was pre-starbucks showing my age so it was lots of little local coffee shops.
I walked to work every day and stopped for a coffee at this teeny tiny coffee and barista and I flirted daily.
There was waist high snow so I would walk to work in jeans and carry my suit in bag. It was so cold one day that when I walked home I stripped off and went straight in hot bath.
The next morning picked jeans up off floor and back to walking to work.
Stopped for coffee on way.
Woman behind me in queue looked stricken.
She could not speak but was pointing to my feet
I looked down and saw yesterdays white knickers hanging out my jeans leg.
With all the dignity I could muster-in a very small shop in a queue- I had to bend down, pick up knickers and put in pocket.
And find a new place to get coffee...