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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I shook his bloody hand

252 replies

costacostsalot · 07/09/2019 11:33

There's a man I see all the time, we don't know each other.
I went to coffee shop with my son and he was there with his children, we were sitting near each other so started having a chat. We was having a lovely conversation about the summer holidays, the weather, the children and nothing flirty, just a chit chat. I realised the time and needed to head off. For some unknown reason I got up, leant over and shook his bloody hand!!!!!
Why????? I have no idea where it came from!!! Aibu to just avoid him forever, it's weird isn't it and he's going to think I'm odd 😐😐

OP posts:

VenusClapTrap · 08/09/2019 23:30

At a party I was unexpectedly introduced to Feargal Sharkey. I was so taken by surprise that I curtsied.

grassygrass · 08/09/2019 23:30

Oh god, this is me.

I was introduced to a new work colleague in a loud environment, I got a bit flustered because I didn't hear the introduction properly and I ended up SHAKING HIS THUMB. Not his hand, his fucking individual thumb.

To this day one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. It looked like I thought he was dirty or something and didn't want to touch him. My colleagues still find it hilarious to this day.

Ratherberightthanhappy · 08/09/2019 23:57

My very smart MIL in her 60’s had just started seeing someone new after being widowed. My husband spoke to her on the phone and she told him she was in London that day having been invited to a civilised lunch with her new gentleman friend. He alerted me to her presence by texting me “Watch out, Mum’s in town, getting some cock” Apart from he sent the message to his Mum instead of me....

LesserofTwoWeevils · 09/09/2019 00:33

Angela Hernandez comes to mind...

Tenness · 09/09/2019 00:38

I would just assume you work in a professional environment and weren’t thinking. I actually shake some people hand on meeting if we’ve been formally introduced and as I’m doing it think ‘wtf am I doing’.

Is this not a normal thing to do?? I always shake hands if I'm formally introduced. Should I not be?

ThighThighOfthigh · 09/09/2019 00:54

Cor you're just a ball fondling swimmer.

TapDanceJazzHands · 09/09/2019 01:15

@CorBlimeyGovenor you win the thread. I'm crying 😂 😭

Made me wake the baby too..

LittleLemonTree · 09/09/2019 06:35

I'd been on maternity leave - at home with two toddlers and a baby - and just returned to work. I had a senior position in a financial services business where lots of the staff were young guys. I got up from my desk to collect three of them to head off to a meeting and said loudly across the whole floor "We should leave now, anyone need a wee before we go?".

Boobindoop · 09/09/2019 06:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThighThighOfthigh · 09/09/2019 08:22

I was having a meal out with a friend and picked up my napkin and wiped his mouth. What's worse is that he just gave a wry smile and let me.

Teagoanngoanngoann · 09/09/2019 08:48

I once worked in a shop and introduced myself to new boss. We were standing chatting with another male colleague when i bent over slightly to lean on a sales item and a very loud fart came out... there was a moment's silence where all 3 of us looked at each other in surprise , eyebrows raised and mouth open, then my male colleague crumpled with laughter and proceeded to run round the store telling all the other staff what i had just done in a very loud voice. I was mortified. The boss stayed in the office most of the day thankfully. My colleague laughed hysterically every time he looked at me that day n made trumping noises as he passed me

ThighThighOfthigh · 09/09/2019 09:07

I was about to sleep with a new man, as he went to enter i produced the biggest fanny fart. We didn't proceed and i never saw him again. I couldn't.

letsleepingbabieslie · 09/09/2019 09:36

I haver terrible, terrible memory for faces (and names, for that matter). Waiting outside a tube station for a friend I hadn't seen for ages, I saw a familiar woman approaching. I said 'hi!' and kissed her on each cheek (normal where I'm from). She looked startled. I realised she was a woman I had met once, at a work meeting, the week before. Not even from my own office, but someone we work alongside occasionally.
Argh.

AmIThough · 09/09/2019 09:45

I had to go to the Netherlands for a couple of days for work. All of the clients did the 3 kisses thing.
Went for a meal on the evening with male boss (Dutch) and two male colleagues - both very senior management. Boss shook the two guys hands as we were leaving and leant in to give me a kiss on the cheek (he'd lived in London for 20 years so was very British in terms of culture). I went for the 3 kisses. I don't know why and I still cringe now.

Not as bad, though, as when two clients based in Netherlands visited our offices. One was Mexican, one Irish, very formal. Brand new senior member of the team went in for the 3 kisses with Irish client who rejected her and shook her hand. SO glad that one wasn't me...

Why can't we all just shake hands like you, OP?

AmIThough · 09/09/2019 09:46

I've also said "you too" a couple of times when GP's have said "I hope you feel better soon"

NotTheMrMenAgain · 09/09/2019 10:54

There's a grandfather who sometimes collects his grandson from school, who's in the same class as my DD - I only pick her up twice a week, so often don't see him for ages. At a kids party I went over to say hello to the GF, and he must have thought that he hadn't seen me for a while because he stuck his hand out and we shook. Then I felt awkward because it seemed very formal for a kids party room at the leisure centre, so I gave him a peck on the cheek. It was clear we were both thinking "wtf just happened" . Since then I've given him a kiss on the cheek whenever I see him, and it's been 18 months or so now. I don't know how this happened, but doesn't seem like I can stop now as it's become the norm.

One time I had a lovely manager who was retiring - he was quite reserved and posh. There was an awkward moment where it was a possible hug situation - him hugging me - but he thought better of it and went for a sort of shoulder squeeze thing and for some reason I did a double handed munch of his belly.....it's the sort of thing I do to my DF, I just wanted the ground to open up as I sunk away. Whenever his name comes up now someone will pipe up "NottheMrMen munched his belly!" and the awkwardness just comes flooding back.

At least I've never curtsied, but I couldn't rule it out as a possibility entirely!

chicken12 · 09/09/2019 11:01

My sister was once in a supermarket some one she vaguely new said hello handed her her baby son and asked if she could hold him whilst she got something problem was she thought it was me

JupiterJane · 09/09/2019 12:20

Some of these are hilarious.

I once told a very pretty girl that was stood next to me at a bar that she looked just like my friend I was meeting there. In walks my friend wearing no make up and looking bloody dreadful. The very pretty stranger scuttled away with her ego no doubt wounded. I had no idea that my friend was such a transformer. Honestly, with her make up on she looks like a Victoria Secret model!! Whoops

CorBlimeyGovenor · 09/09/2019 12:45

Another faux Pas this morning. Got builders in. Then as I was chatting to them, the landscapers showed up at the back door. I've met one of them, Steve, several times now and we get on well, although I've not seen him for a few months. Every time that I have met him on site it has suddenly poured down with rain and we have both got drenched discussing plans outside in the rain. Right on cue there is an absolute deluge. So I stick my head out of the back door and yell to him, "remind me never to have you round for a BBQ!", To which he politely proffers a handshake and introduces himself as Andy. Honestly though, he looks just like Steve. Anyway, I was so flustered l have yet to explain to him why he's uninvited to a BBQ. He's still outside working. Still, it could have been worse. At least I didn't confuse him with my husband and sneak up to tickle his balls!!

Marmalady75 · 09/09/2019 13:11

We were at a kids party at the weekend and the Dad shook my hand when I arrived then waved and grinned at me when I left. I thought it was a bit OTT, but each to their own.

KUGA · 09/09/2019 13:31

Stop beating yourself up.
He probably wouldn't even think about it.
But agree you have to do it all the time now.

MrsLEB · 09/09/2019 13:37

Gosh this thread is amazing and has brought back so many cringe memories for me 😂 I'm glad I'm not the only one!

I remember when we were interviewing for a team administrator and the role was due to be offered to a girl called Megan. Megan turned down the role and it was then offered to a girl named Jennifer. On Jennifer's first day my manager was doing the rounds introducing her. In my head I was thinking 'do not call her Megan her name is Jennifer' - hence the name Megan being on the brain. When it got to my turn, I very proudly stuck out my hand to shake and said loudly 'HI IM MEGAN' (my name is not Megan) after which I then had to say 'Sorry, it's not Megan. It's actually...' I looked like a complete idiot that didn't even know my own name! I still cringe now.

Pinkiii · 09/09/2019 13:39

This happened to my husband, we are from different backgrounds/cultures. In my culture we always kiss people twice or three times or shake hands, even the men sometimes kiss on the cheek, which is unusual for most. Its all very confusing and this has now confused my husband even more when it comes to greeting people

We were at a party at his friends and my husband was saying hello to a few people, these were all women so he kissed them On the cheek as he is used too doing that then got to his friend, the friend (male) went in for the male hug and my husband thinking it was one of my family events when to kiss the guy on the cheek, so ended up with the guy going in for a hug and my husband planting a kiss on his head.

Makes me laugh everytime i think about it

teejaytee · 09/09/2019 15:32

Worse - in historical terms at least: I shook the hand of Robert Maxwell, later found to have embezzled monumental sums from the pension fund of the newspaper group where I was working at the time - though he jumped overboard before he could be tried for it, if memory serves. True, it was a work context so normal to shake hands but clearly I wouldn't have done it if I'd known that his smarmy persona hid a criminal underbelly. His handshake was so flabby it was almost obsequious, for reference. If yours was warmly assertive while being appropriately friendly I wouldn't worry in the least!

Lauren83 · 09/09/2019 15:37

I still cringe about the time I saw my ex DPs aunt and uncle when we were in B&Q, greeted them with a hug and had a good chat with them for 5 minutes, it was only when they walked off ex DP said it was our new next door neighbours and asked why I hugged them

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