I shook his bloody hand

[costacostsalot]

There's a man I see all the time, we don't know each other.
I went to coffee shop with my son and he was there with his children, we were sitting near each other so started having a chat. We was having a lovely conversation about the summer holidays, the weather, the children and nothing flirty, just a chit chat. I realised the time and needed to head off. For some unknown reason I got up, leant over and shook his bloody hand!!!!!
Why????? I have no idea where it came from!!! Aibu to just avoid him forever, it's weird isn't it and he's going to think I'm odd 😐😐

I once handed the bin men a box for recycling before they drove off, he thanked me, and I told him to take care blush I hide on bin day now

What's wrong with that. I quite often say 'take care'!!

went to get bloods done.As i was walking out...
"thankyou have a good rest of nyour day"
"aww you too kate."
"thanks love you."
CRAP.

I'd been working my arse off on a project for my boss, and he'd been very appreciative, saying 'I know you're hoping to leave the company, and I will be sad to lose you, but it'll be better for you, etc'.

A few weeks later, I did get another job at a different company, went in to hand in my resignation. He was genuinely delighted for me, and as we walked into the VERY VERY BUSY and open plan reception area, he said 'we'll all miss you.' I replied 'I'll miss you all too'

Him: Aww, that's so sweet! And gave me a full on smacker of a kiss on the mouth in front of just about every other employee and client in the building.

My bum hadn't hit my seat before I got a 'OHMYGOD THAT WAS SO INAPPROPRIATE AND UNINTENDED' internal email from him. We've stayed friends, but I love winding him up about it.

I called a cab. They usually ring when they are outside the house so when the phone rang I gathered my things up and went out, got in the car and told the driver where I wanted to go. He said, "I'm not a cab driver". Then I saw the cab pull up.

It’s worse when you get confused with the double kiss and end up kissing someone on the lips. Done that a couple of times. Still cringe. I would be charmed by the shaking hands. I love the well mannered formality.

At a family bbq I accidentally said love you instead of lovely to meet you to someone I'd met for the first time that day and had spent barely any time talking too 😂😂😂

Once I signed off a VOICE MAIL with ‘kind regards’... still wobbling my head

I kissed the plumber as he was leaving at the end of the first day of a lengthy bathroom refurb.
To this day, I have absolutely no idea why - and neither did he.
I never went to the door with him again at the end of his working day but just yelled from afar "see you tomorrow".
It took him 3 months to sort the bathroom!

Crying with laughter at these!!
I work in a restaurant and once walked towards a customer and greeted them with a “Good Morning!”.... followed by a deep curtesy!!
The look on my boss’s face was an absolute picture!! Took me ages to live that down.
I frequently say “love you” to the wrong people...

I was meeting my boyfriend at a cafe and he usually wore quite an unusual type of beanie. This is relevant.

Anyway, arrived at cafe and spotted him at a table. Tall, blond, beanie on, and he had his back to me. He'd ordered an enormous cream cake and I lean't over him and grabbed it out of his hand and took a bite with a cheery: "I think you'll find that's mine, babe."

Only as he turned around and stared at me with horror, it clearly wasn't my boyfriend, but some random lookalike.

It was a long time ago, but that moment when I realised it wasn't Nico still brings me out in a cold sweat.

I was hunting for my Dad on a hospital ward but had left my glasses in my car. I terrified a poor old bloke as I shouted DAD!! At least I didn't bear hug him as i lunged at his hospital bed.

I am disappointed -I thought from ops title I was going to be reading a murder story

@04PeriComoToes

Sadly, pants as in underwear.

@Goingonagondola that really made me laugh!!

An old teacher at my school once sat behind her desk and put out her hand for me to hand over my schoolwork. For some reason i shook her hand!!! I cringe about it to this day!!

Best thread ever; I'm actually crying with laughter. I answered the front door one morning to the most delicious looking and very friendly builder (working next door) who very politely asked if they could turn round in my drive. I batted my eyelashes as I automatically went into 'twitter and flirt' mode and said of course, no trouble at all. I shut the door absolutely glowing from our lovely chat until I passed the mirror and wondered if it was at all possible that the yummy builder had a thing for middle aged women with haystack hair, faded baggy pyjamas and a well upholstered figure. A girl can dream!

This is the first thread ever on MN that has had me actually laughing out loud 😂😂😂

The other day my OH very nearly gave his mum's bum a squeeze while he was walking past her cooking in the kitchen!! He put his hand out automatically as he's so used to doing it to me it's become a habit!!

Luckily he realised and managed to stop before the full-on butt grope! That would have been soooooo awkward!!

I'm going back almost 50 years for his one and it can still make me blush when I think about it.
I was out in a pub with my gentleman caller(GC) of the time.
I became aware that I was being studied in an appreciative manner by a handsome hunk(HH) across the lounge bar.
Some eyelash fluttering went on coupled with a friendly smile.
I go to the loo, sometime later, and on the way back am intercepted by HH.
We exchange pleasantries but I explain that I am spoken for so am unable to meet up for a drink anytime soon.
HH seems a nice enough chap and the evening ends when I leave with GC.

Fast forward several weeks and GC has now dumped me for someone else.
I am heartbroken.

A friend is out having a drink in the pub where I'd been.
She bumps into HH and he asks about me.
She tells him I'm now footloose and fancy free and he asks her to pass on his number as he'd like to meet up with me.
So, I make the call and arrange to meet him outside said pub at 7pm on Friday.

7pm Friday arrives and I'm standing waiting and it dawns on me that I can't really remember what he looks like, other than, handsome, hunky and blonde.
Enter, stage left, one handsome, hunky blonde chap, accompanied by 2 other chaps.

Bold as brass, I walk up to hunky blonde, slip my arm through his and say something about it being rude to keep a lady waiting.
Hunky blonde looks terrified.
His pals are in hysterics.
Hunky blonde is telling me I've got him mixed up with someone else and he has never seen me before in his life.
I think he's just being a bit blokey and take no notice and continue to try and drag him into the pub.

Then, round the corner walks the real HH, who I recognise immediately.
I drop unwilling paramour(UP) like a hot potato and apologise profusely.
He scuttled off like he'd just escaped a fate worse than death.

HH and I frequented that pub for many years so I was often reminded of my mistake when UP came in.
He always sat well away from me.

My friend has been happily married to her lovely husband for over 40 yrs but she still cringes when she thinks of the first Christmas she brought him home to meet her parents.
He came in and said hello etc then explained to her mother that he didn't know what to buy for everyone ( quite a large family ) so he had decided on a joint present for them all.
He went outside to get it and reappeared with .... A sack of potatoes ! My friend nearly died! I laugh every time I think of it .

My old boss, John, told me to take the lead in a meeting with some new clients, I was ridiculously nervous and so he coached me beforehand and kept repeating on the way down to the meeting room: ‘just be calm, be confident, enter the room and say “good morning, my name is John and I’ll be presenting to you today”’.

We get to the meeting room, I take a deep breath and enter, stand at the head of the table in front of the clients and say:

‘Good morning, my name is John and I’ll be presenting to you today’.

My name quite clearly wasn’t John and they knew my boss was called John so when they addressed their questions to John, neither of us knew who they meant but as I was the lead I continued to answer the questions addressed to me, as John. They then differentiated between us by using John’s full name.

Fucking John.

I don’t think that was so bad. You’re overthinking it a bit, I think it’s fine. As others have stated, it’s normal sometimes for people to shake hands afterward.

I have turned to bow at glass doors, even started the bow, but luckily caught myself in time to stop. More than once.
This was at a nearby Subway where I went right after a martial arts class.

It was habit as upon leaving the dojo after a workout, we bow because it’s traditional and a form of respect to the instructors, as well as the space where you trained.

Glass doors there, and glass doors tend to look the same at many businesses.

I did feel better when I shared this with an instructor and said he’s actually bowed out, then said at Subway!

No big deal? I thought it’s normal to shake hands?

I work in HR and used to interview a LOT. One week, I did 70 interviews for a huge project we were doing where we needed to hire 20 engineers. 12 hours of formal 3-person panel interviews a day, very technical, taking notes, paying attention, trying to keep everyone on-track and to schedule. It was horrendous.

Got to the end of one interview and I was starting to close it out and said-
“Thank you so much for answering all of our questions, do you have anything you’d like to ask us or anything you want to add before we finish up?”

The candidate responded with something along the lines of “can you tell me what the technical requirements are for the building of X/Y/Z under current requirements for blah blah blah” so our Head of Engineering answered that one.

Job done, everyone looked to me to close-out which I did by saying-

“Thank you so much for answering all of our questions, do you have anything you’d like to ask us or anything you want to add before we finish up?”

Hey i wud of prob grabbed him in a northern bear hug kinda way 😂😄

That’s nice OP - hand shakes are good!