Will someone please hold my coat?

[Aposterhasnoname]

I’m going on holiday, as in, I’m sat in the taxi for the airport outside my house waiting for “D”H, AKA King Faffer.

This morning I’ve emptied the fridge, and the bins, cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen, vacuumed, showered, finished my packing and was stood in the hallway with my case waiting for the taxi, five minutes before it arrived. DH meanwhile, has faffed.

After waiting in the taxi for around ten minutes, I went to look for him. HE WAS MOWING THE FUCKING LAWN!!

After a brief exchange of views I’m now sat back in the taxi while KF “locks up”.

AIBU to say there’s not a jury in the land would convict me and ask someone to please hold my coat while I club him to death with the fucking strimmer.

Take his cases out of the taxi. Leave on the road. Go and enjoy your faff free holiday!

😂😂 sorry I have nothing to say to help you but that’s hilarious.

The taxi driver must have been raging.

Enjoy your holiday OP.

He was mowing the lawn knowing the taxi was waiting?!

Some kind of prize needed here but I don't know if it's for your patience or his Olympic level twattery. 🏅

Why oh why do men think jobs like this are important when you have to go on holiday?! What a dick! I’ll hold your coat.

I can hold your coat and make up a thermos of tea for your journey...

I could imagine my husband doing this....

Taxi driver wouldn’t be raging, I imagine the meter was running!

Not a jury in the land would convict you

There are no words op. Also I think there are more men who do this than you think ...

That made me laugh out loud. You are a superstar. He's not shown his best self here at all.

At least he’s not decided he needs a poo at the very last minute like DP most men

I actually think that's pretty impressive!!! Think how nice it will be to come home to a nice non jungle lawn 🤣😂🤣😂

You head off in the taxi and sort your alibi out while I club him to death for you. I'll even tidy up after myself.

Happy holidays

What a dick, mowing the lawn with a taxi waiting?!

I would have left without him

What a plonker.

How, in the name of the wee man, did he justify that?

. I'm with Sirzy, you should have left him mowing the lawn and gone on your holiday.

YANBU. No jury would convict you.

What was he thinking??

You are living my life op. You have all my sympathy.

OMG that's hilarious (sorry op), hope you make your holiday..

I would definitely have left without him. Text from airport saying you assumed he didn’t want to come as he was mowing the lawn instead of getting in the taxi. I’d be perfectly happy to have a holiday on my own !
Shame you waited for him - absolute tosser.

My DH loves a task to focus him when he's stressed! If only he could self select the useful ones. Good luck OP.

😂😂

Sorry but its definitely a man thing.
Fond memory of my Grandad re grouting the bath, while we stood there looking at him with our suitcases like wtf are you doing.

To him mowing the lawn was as important as hoovering was to you. However you timed it right. He didn't. I'd be mad not at the mowing, but at the stupidity of it costing you in terms of extra money for the taxi and contingency time wasted.

He’s finally emerged!

Fortunately the taxi driver has been taking us to the airport for years and is well used to DH antics. I’m fairly sure he’d be willing to give me an alibi.

But also 🤣 Sorry. Not funny for you. Maybe you'll last in a few months (/ years?)