Would you move 150-200 miles away to be able to afford your dream home?

[bigdecsions]

Hi everyone,
As the title suggests, we live in London (not the best place in London either ) that's where I've always lived and grown up its my comfort zone. All my family and friends are here too. We have 4dc and live in a 3 bed, which we can extend to make a 4 bed. It's on a main road so parking is available on the side roads. By no means is this our dream home, but it is what it is. We've done work to it and made it in to our home which we love. Kids are at a good school too.
2 miles away would be our ideal location but it's far too expensive, anywhere around here is, is have to extend our mortgage and still only get a 3 bed but in a nicer location and most houses only have 1 reception too making it feel smaller as we have 2.

Anyway we have thought about moving further north, we've looked at a few places but all are between 150-200 miles north of us 3-4 hour drive. We are able to afford our dream home in those areas and schools are good too. But I'm so worried about loving as I've always lived here. What if we don't like it after the novelty has worn off? Has anyone loved that far just to be able to afford their dream home? I just can't decide if it's right for us to do, also if we move we definitely won't be able to come back if we don't like it as we'd be priced out. I don't want to keep changing kids schools either. I think the main fear comes from always living here.
Really struggling to decide but can't get the dream house we saw out of my head .
Any suggestions? Sorry this post is so long xx

@CorBlimeyGovenor interesting lots have said Bristol I've never been there will add that to my lot to visit. Thanks
@Mummyshark2018 my kids are ok about it but that probably because they seen the houses with us out there. You're right having family around is incomparable.

@CorBlimeyGovenor thanks littleover seems Easy to get to Nottingham that's why we thought of it and the new builds we liked were amazing

@whattodo2019 I love the
Positivity, that's very true though. Ah I hate being an adult and making this decision 😂

We have just moved from Brighton to a town just outside literally 30 minutes away after having DC2 & needing more space. I hate it. I miss the vibrancy & buzz of a big town & just don’t feel ‘at home.’

All the neighbours are lovely & DD1 is starting at a nice nursery next week, but my god do I regret it. I feel so out the loop with all our family/friends in Brighton. Like we’re missing out. I imagine you might feel the same about leaving London.

So given my experience I would say no, stay where you are & make the house work for you. The grass isn’t always greener.

@Trickedia oh dear. Seems like lots have gone through this. I hope you settle soon

@SacramentoMN Brighton is definitely cheaper .my husband is keen on Brighton too

OP Brighton is seriously expensive. I’m not sure what your budget is but you’ll need at least £500k for a decent four-bed I would imagine - and quite a bit more for a “dream” home.

We’re having the same deliberations here about moving out of zone 4 BUT a massive part of wanting to move is to be closer to family - there’s no obvious place we could both be that would be close to both our families, we could both get work, and we could afford. If I was in your position I would stay put. Or at least, draw up a list of all the things that are important to you - we did this recently. Made a list together, then separately ranked them in order of importance to us. Things like nice house, close to family, good schools etc. the thing is that it sounds like you have an awful lot of boxes ticked where you are. So the thing to do is to make your priority list and then compare where you are to somewhere up north. I can’t imagine moving away from family AND a great city to have a bigger house and a better parking space, but if those are your top priorities then it’s the right move for you. Just don’t underestimate the things you’d be leaving.

Move to Glasgow. It's fab.

@bigdecsions sorry I missed your post earlier re budget, prices are ridiculous.

Would you be leaving your entire family? eg parents, siblings, cousins, etc.

I left London 15 years ago, precisely because I wanted to own a detached house with a garden and drive a car instead of using public transport. Not just for me - I also wanted my DC to live in a privately owned house and be driven around. Still don’t regret my decision.

Hi, I moved from Carshalton to rural Dorset over 20yrs ago, pre kids, due to dh’s job. I loved where I moved to & soon made brilliant friends but it took many yrs before I stopped missing home. Now there’s no way I would want to move back. It’s far too busy & polluted & there isn’t the sense of community like there is here. My parents are originally from near Croydon & these days when I visit I don’t even wish to go to Sutton. It just isn’t like it used to be.
I still live in Dorset but after having dc we decided that town living suited our family better.
Not having family near can be very hard, but at least when we see them they stay for a few days.
Good luck with your decision. Children are pretty adaptable especially the younger ones.

How much do you see your local family currently? We’re they helping out with dc prior to you being a SAHM? I left home at 18 and didn’t have local family where I grew up (Dad only child, mum immigrant). Now I live a few hundred miles away having lived in several different towns in the last 20 years. We see family 4-6 x per year. Everyone has to go on all visits. No visits just for an afternoon for example or joint trips to cinema / theatre etc. If we need a babysitter we have to pay.

@Dongdingdong maybe not a dream home but you get 4 beds for 350k have a check on right move

I don't think I'd move hundreds of miles from a place I loved solely in order to afford a better house. We moved from Oxfordshire to Cumbria, partly to afford a better house, but mostly because we wanted to relocate somewhere more rural.

@Ruminthebath sounds like a plan thanks

@rededucator it's too cold for me or would have considered 😂

@eeksville yes parents and siblings cousins too but never really see them anyway

@BizzzzyBee I get you 👍🏻

@Badgerstmary oh really? That sounds good, I know Croydon Sutton definitely aren't what they use to be buts it's gone , my comfort blanket

Yes! Have done exactly that! Left all my family and friends behind and moved to an area I didn't know and where I knew no one.

Best decision ever!! 12 months on and I have my perfect cottage, live in a beautiful place and have a social life that I can't keep up with!

No, I didn't move because of a job either - just wanted a lovely home in a lovely place that I could afford instead of struggling each month. I can't afford to move back now, either.

Go for it, I say!

@Taswama I see my parents and siblings once a week if I move it's be once a month. No real help with childcare when I was working. But I can occasionally leave kids with mum when I need to

@fairydustandpixies that sound great an dimmso glad you're happy. How far did you move from family and friends?

Once a month seems sensible but is that you going all the travelling or are you assuming they would travel too? Especially older kids with activities, Scout camps etc, we struggle to find free weekends. We basically only go and see family in the school holidays when we don’t have to travel Friday afternoon/Sunday afternoon as the 3 hour journey is just that not 5 hours or worse. We get visits in term time. Without local family you have no one (other than DP, maybe older kids) to keep an eye on the kids while you go to hairdressers/ dentist etc. I think local family is priceless but if knife crime was a local issue I would certainly be seriously looking at moving. We’ve been in our current town for 10 years and I finally feel at home.

It takes a good three to four hours of travelling to get back to visit (I drive).

My 2 DC left home to go to uni over the past 2yrs, my house was too expensive to manage on my own so I sold up. I live in a county town in the South and I can walk to shops and restaurants or, in ten minutes I can drive and be in the middle of nowhere surrounded by castles, downs, cliffs and stunning beaches.

I do feel guilty at leaving my elderly parents and family behind but I have made amazing friends so quickly, it's a safe place to live, very low crime rate, excellent schools and facilities (there's a primary at the bottom of my road rated outstanding and I love hearing the children going to and from each day!).

Best thing I ever did.

Nowhere is too far away, OP. Quality of life is what matters. I wish you all the best whatever you decide!

@Taswama I'm thinking I'll be travelling down once a month but saying that I'm sure they'll come up too. All the kids activities I do after school I keep weekends free, can't think of anything works on weekends 🤣

@fairydustandpixies that sounds amazing, can I be cheeky and ask
Where you are?

It can be harder when you have kids, but they adapt quickly if the move is at the right time for their schooling and you are still able to see family and friends, every now and again.
It helps if you can afford an extra bedroom or even 2 so you can have people to stay.
Two of our 3 dc are left now, just GCSE's/ A levels and last one leaving. So on the move again, to a much smaller base wherever the pin sticks.
It may seem very strange to some, but it's worked for us.