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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you move 150-200 miles away to be able to afford your dream home?

188 replies

bigdecsions · 06/09/2019 13:37

Hi everyone,
As the title suggests, we live in London (not the best place in London either ) that's where I've always lived and grown up its my comfort zone. All my family and friends are here too. We have 4dc and live in a 3 bed, which we can extend to make a 4 bed. It's on a main road so parking is available on the side roads. By no means is this our dream home, but it is what it is. We've done work to it and made it in to our home which we love. Kids are at a good school too.
2 miles away would be our ideal location but it's far too expensive, anywhere around here is, is have to extend our mortgage and still only get a 3 bed but in a nicer location and most houses only have 1 reception too making it feel smaller as we have 2.

Anyway we have thought about moving further north, we've looked at a few places but all are between 150-200 miles north of us 3-4 hour drive. We are able to afford our dream home in those areas and schools are good too. But I'm so worried about loving as I've always lived here. What if we don't like it after the novelty has worn off? Has anyone loved that far just to be able to afford their dream home? I just can't decide if it's right for us to do, also if we move we definitely won't be able to come back if we don't like it as we'd be priced out. I don't want to keep changing kids schools either. I think the main fear comes from always living here.
Really struggling to decide but can't get the dream house we saw out of my head .
Any suggestions? Sorry this post is so long xx

OP posts:
AudacityOfHope · 06/09/2019 13:50

No, I wouldn't. Part of what makes a home more than just a house is being part of the community; it sounds like you've got family and friends around you, and to me that's worth more than just the bricks and mortar.

That said, if you're not thrilled about the area, then it makes some sense to look farther afield; I personally wouldn't want my kids to live at that distance from their wider family though.

caroloro · 06/09/2019 13:52

Why not test the water by renting your place out so you can rent somewhere in the place you think you might like to live?

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 06/09/2019 13:54

No!

BlueJava · 06/09/2019 13:54

Depends on a couple of things - would you have to change work and could you get something as well paid as now (otherwise you possibly can't afford the new place). What's in the new area that you love - apart from the house obviously? If there's lots of outside space and you all love walking, or it's near a beach you love then I'd go for it. Does it have things you use - theatre, college for night school, library - whatever you like doing. However, if it's only the house you love then I don't think I would.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 06/09/2019 13:55

No. My dream home is in my dream city and I can't change that. I also wouldn't want to move away from my friends. I've done it before for 2 years for work and hated it. So I put up with horrendous London house prices!

coconutpie · 06/09/2019 13:58

No, I wouldn't. I'd consider moving to your dream location which you mentioned is 2 miles away even though it'll be smaller. You might be able to rework the house to make it manageable even if it is a smaller space. Or stay in your current location. But no way would I move somewhere that far away from where you're settled just because it's for a nicer house. Location over everything really.

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor · 06/09/2019 13:58

Yes we did just that .
How old are your kids? That's a major factor .

mindutopia · 06/09/2019 13:58

Not for a house, no, but for a lifestyle change and to an area we want to live in, yes. We are shortly moving probably about 100 miles away (we don't live in London, but I work in London and commute in). Commute will be slightly more awkward, but we can't afford what we'd really like in the area we are living in now and we don't want to live here forever. We really like the new area, it's closer to family and some friends, will mean dh can have a business premises on site so easier to do the school runs for him, faster train for me. I wouldn't move there just because I saw a pretty house though. Surely, there are other options. I know plenty of places I would consider moving that are closer to London than that if I wanted to move out of London but not quite 3-4 hours away. I live about 3 hours from London and there are definitely places closer than me.

bigdecsions · 06/09/2019 14:00

@AudacityOfHope that's what's in my mind to be honest, but here I'll never be able to afford my dream home

@caroloro that could have been an option but I don't what to take kids in a out of schools and unsettle them. My eldest has gone into year 9 now and seconds will be going to high school next year.

@BlueJava me and dh need to sit and go through everything to be honest, we saw the area not long ago and with kids being on holidays was difficult to find time but will be doing that this weekend. St the moment I a SAHM dh would get a transfer with work his salary would drop slightly but shouldn't affect affordability

OP posts:
transformandriseup · 06/09/2019 14:00

No I wouldn’t but only because there are affordable homes just 10/15 miles away from where I grew up and we have already moved there.

I’m not sure I could live on my salary in London though so I would consider moving away to get a cheaper and bigger house.

senua · 06/09/2019 14:01

I think the main fear comes from always living here.
It's funny. The DC said that at University (where they merrily moved 100+ miles to an unknown future) the most insular students were usually the ones who had never been outside the M25. Most others were used to getting out and about (eg sports fixtures) and thought nothing of it.

bigdecsions · 06/09/2019 14:02

@MrsPellegrinoPetrichor how did you find it? Are you happy you did it? Dc are 13,10,5,2

OP posts:
AntiHop · 06/09/2019 14:03

I've been in your position and chose to stay in London. We could only afford a tiny 2 bed in a cheap part of London. We considered moving out of London but decided to stay. We could have afforded a much nicer houser in other parts of the UK. Or we could have afforded a small house like ours but with little mortgage so I could have worked part time.

95% of the time, I don't regret it. I love living in London. Occasionally I think it would have been nice to live somewhere quieter. But I remind myself of the reasons we chose to stay in London. I feel very fortunate that we were able to afford to stay.

bigdecsions · 06/09/2019 14:04

I mean all the areas we saw are lonely, a lot quieter and safer. And schools are really good. None are too rural and still close to shops etc like what we are use to. Sounds great in theory buy the fear in real. I'd definitely do it if I knew for sure we'd love it.

OP posts:
PooWillyBumBum · 06/09/2019 14:08

I would, but my dream home is far away from here in South Bucks or London. Would love a quiet rural village within an hour of a smaller, vibrant city. I think a big part of a home is where it's situated.

If I loved here/London I'd stick here forever in a slightly smaller house!

Batqueen · 06/09/2019 14:12

How far away is your area from bring affected by gentrification? If it’s close to the ‘nice’ area you may find you don’t have long to wait for your area to be up and coming and in line with all the nearby areas. Likewise when your 2yo is a bit older will you go back to work? If so and you use extra income to extend will that empower you to buy another four bed in the area you like? I’d be considering these options first.

WhatsMyPassword · 06/09/2019 14:12

No, and its quite simple, you'll make 'acquaintances' but you'll never really fit in, you'll always be an outsider, your real friends wont come with you, neithe will your relatives.

You're considering moving because you like the look of a house ?

Do your jobs transfer ? Will there be the same opporunities 'up country' ? School might be marvellous, all schools go in cycles, it might be in SM by the time yours are ready to attend. Bus routes, accessibility, towns, fun things, youth clubs?

bigdecsions · 06/09/2019 14:18

We've been looking at bigger cities so I don't think it will affect the kids much in that sense ?? Manchester, Nottingham, Leeds and derby are the places is that helps

OP posts:
Rezie · 06/09/2019 14:22

For me dream home is more about the location than the actual building.

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor · 06/09/2019 14:24

No, and its quite simple, you'll make 'acquaintances' but you'll never really fit in, you'll always be an outsider, your real friends wont come with you, neithe will your relatives

That's not our experience at all,we've met really good friends here.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/09/2019 14:26

No, I wouldn't. Surely home is where the heart is, so for you to leave your families and friend start again is a big thing. No point being in your dream home if you're lonely, a big house won't make you content.

ButterflyOne1 · 06/09/2019 14:30

The best advice someone ever told me (in relation to houses) was you must buy into the area and not the home. Basically having the right area if far more important than the actual bricks and water.

You would have no support network up there, what would you do about work? Jobs pay far less up North than in London. The children will lose all of their friends, hobbies and what they're used to.

Personally I could never do it!

Purpleartichoke · 06/09/2019 14:30

We did. Moved across the country and into the far suburbs of a city. I miss access to restaurants, but otherwise, the lifestyle difference is astounding. Huge home that costs a tiny fraction of what we could technically afford to spend on housing so we have extra disposable income. Excellent schools with easy enrollment. Errands easy to run because everywhere has plenty of parking. Virtually no violent crime. A bit more property crime than we would like, but people make themselves easy targets by refusing to lock vehicles and homes.

Alwaysgrey · 06/09/2019 14:32

No. I wouldn’t leave friends and family. Where we live I’ve found breaking into friendship groups very very hard.

MerryDeath · 06/09/2019 14:32

it away from friends and family, just for the house, no. that would not buy my happiness. if there was a reason eg work then i would consider it and the better house would be a bonus.

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